A sad but common holiday question: If you're dating someone but have realized things aren't going to work out, do you think it's best to end things with them just before the holidays? Or better to wait until after New Year's?
Funny Guy says:
If the break up will be a total shock to the dumped, sure hold off and play nice until Jan 2nd. After all, January 2nd isn't a holiday but does mark the day Panamanian president Jose Antonio Remon was assassinated back in 1955.
If the break up is a long time coming and you're painfully hobbling along, pull the damn lights on this dead X-Mas tree. Let the dumped dump his/her pain on family and friends. And let you shamelessly make-out with some hot idiot on NYE.
Mystery Man says:
Been dumped before Christmas before now. It ain't a nice feeling. Between Christmas and New Years is better - though if you are planning on it, make sure he/she isn't invited to go to the same party as you.
Reformed Player says:
There's really no "good" time to break up with somebody, but waiting until after New Year's is a better option, if for no other reason than break-up stress plus holiday stress makes everybody miserable. Imagine being asked a dozen times "And how is X?"
Wise-Ass says:
Depends on the relationship. If both of you are miserable and aware that the relationship is circling the drain, it's probably best just to go ahead and end it before the holidays, which are already stressful enough without that monkey on your back. But if you're planning to dump someone out of the blue and you suspect that it will knock them for a loop, the considerate choice is to wait until after the holidays.
Chic Geek says:
Before the holidays, definitely. Then they can drink their way through Christmas, have a New Year's Eve fling and be ready to start the new year fresh. Better to not wait until January 2nd and taint their 2012. It's going to be a crazy enough year already.
Gal Pal says:
I don't believe in carrying on under false pretenses, whatever holiday is involved. If you know in your heart it's not going to work out, why not set each other free immediately. Better to start the New Year on a new path.
Ladies, when do you think's the best time for a holiday breakup?
its a good time to drop a girl before christmas so u dont have to spend money on her
I agree with Nick. Dump or be dumped BEFORE.
Who wants to remember the holiday season as one with your SO, when a week afterwards, you're SOL.
If you wait until after Christmas you’re SO may have spent some green on your gift & how awkward would that be, if it’s very personal? It will make for bad holiday memories in the future too. (Don’t forget that Valentine’s Day looms just around the corner too, arg!) Before Thanksgiving is best, you probably know you’re true feelings about the relationship at that time anyway.
It's definitely out of the question whether or not it's the holiday season. What matters is if the relationship is really something you want in your life. Don't prolong the agony, regardless if it's Christmas or the New Year. It's better to let go than string someone along... Don't let the allure and fantasies of the holiday season get in the way of actually being true to yourself and the other person. The consequences and aftershocks of break ups are the same - even if its the holidays or not.
If only you guys had answered this question a year ago when I submitted it. I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend on New Year's Eve last year. Our Christmas gifts for each other other ended up being more like parting gifts. But I'm glad I did it when I did. It meant he could start the new year off fresh and leave our relationship in 2010.
Even if it's going to be out of the blue, I'm voting for before holidays, especially if you're supposed to be seeing each other's families. That way you don't waste money on gifts for each other that will just make things awkward and make the ex feel bitter, and you won't be sitting at the holiday party wishing you were single or with someone else. The breakup's going to suck regardless of when it comes; why burden yourself and string someone along when things aren't working for you?
My boyfriend just broke up with my. I'm really, really fucking miserable. But I'm also glad he did it before the holiday season. We've both been off at college and I just got back yesterday. I'd rather not go through the next few weeks wondering if his heart's really in it, and then have to look back on them knowing that through everything we did together, he knew he didn't love me in the same way anymore. It sucks. It would anyway.