This week on GuySpeak, we learned the guys' dating dealbreakers, their breakup boycotts, their votes on the great PJs vs. Birthday Suit sleepwear debate and their thoughts on random "hey, what's up" texts. Oh, and we also learned who's the boss. (We are. Obviously.)
Do guys like when a girl texts or calls for no reason? I just like for them to wait to call me.
Guys, especially guys who are into you in a big way, are nearly as phone- text- and email- obsessed as a human can be. The only thing that tops "waiting for a new girlfriend to call you" on the scale of waiting-ness is "waiting for the test results." And even then, I'd probably put my cancer doctor on the other line if my girl was calling. I mean, the test results aren't going to CHANGE, right?
Guys are just as capable of any other higher life form of reading into things, wondering what you're thinking, wondering how what we're thinking reflects on what we think you're thinking, and other fractal-like manifestations of the hell that is sentience. We may not show it--or at least, our Dads all told us not to--but you not calling the next day can plain rip our hearts out. So if you like this guy, let him know it. It can't hurt to put some more good vibes out into the world, right?
But here's the thing, Michael. You know all that wondering and thinking you're doing when we're not texting you? You're wondering and thinking about US. Which means we win. The moment we start sending random "hey you" texts? We lose. I'm not saying this girl shouldn't text her guy - but she should have something interesting to say. Or at least some lab results for him.
I can't stand cats. But other than that... "dealbreakers" are usually trivial. If you bail on someone because of a dealbreaker, then you're either shallow or there was something else there that was off. Wrong. His heart just wasn't the right size glass slipper. I mean, I even dated a woman once who smelled like...ehhh... the gym. But we kept dating, and eventually we didn't work out for actual reasons. We had different life priorities. Were not emotionally compatible. She liked to do it with the curtains closed, and I liked to do with the curtains open. My point is: the only real dealbreakers for me are things like her doing something that would make me not trust her. Or if we just didn't want the same things out of life.
Oh! Wait! I do have one tiny dealbreaker. I can't stand, and will not date, women who are rude/jerks/princesses to waiters or waitresses. I cannot deal with that shit. People who dress down waiters are usually people who have no sense of humor about themselves, and have no respect for anyone else's opinion. They are also lacking in basic human empathy.
Gal Pal says:
I once bailed on a guy because he asked me to dinner but only ordered one slice of pizza and one bottle of water. To share. If that makes me shallow, call me the kiddie pool.
What songs, movies, places, etc. remind you of a bad break-up?
Chic Geek says:
We all have certain things that we associate with failed relationships. So I asked the GuySpeakers -- and Lemondrop's Emily Gordon -- for the music, movies, TV shows, foods, etc. that messy break-ups and broken hearts have rendered too painful to enjoy. Turns out, break-ups ruined some really great stuff for all of us. (The Wire? Even quality TV isn't safe from heartbreak.) Here's my list:
"Trouble" - Coldplay
Six Feet Under
"Elevator Love Letter" - Stars
"Immigrant Song" - Led Zeppelin. (This was on the radio when someone gave me the "we should just be friends" speech. Sorry, Zep!)
I was an incredibly uptight, nerdy 6th grader, but when Push It" by Salt-n-Pepa came on someone's boombox after school, I stood mesmerized, watching my crush Jimmy Fletcher synchronize skateboard to it. I was so enraptured that I forgot to walk my little sister home from school, got in big trouble with my parents and then Jimmy would barely slowdance with me at my first boy-girl party. He pushed it real good with someone else.
How do I manage an alpha-male type employee who's upset that I got promoted and am now his boss?
Wise-Ass says:
You did nothing wrong by getting promoted; on the contrary, you did a lot of things right. You don't owe him an explanation or a justification. Even if you were this guy's hired ass-wiper yesterday, someone higher up than both of you saw fit to promote you to his supervisor today, and today is all that matters.
You're the boss now, and, like any other subordinate, he needs to respect your authority, period. Whether he likes you personally or not is moot. Give him a Vagisil wipe for the sand in his cooch, a boo-boo bunny for his bruised ego, and tell him to get back in the game. There's work to be done and no time for whiners. If he can't let it go, he's free to go work somewhere else, right? Focus on your job, not his hurt feelings.
Gal Pal says:
Amen, Cary. You're the boss, lady. So act like the boss lady! And always carry a pack of those wipes in your handbag.
Girl's BFF says:
I have no clue. Most (and by most, I mean 99 percent) men would LOVE to snuggle up next to a naked body every night. Nudity is usually the only obstacle to sex, so if you're already naked it stands to reason that with a little creative positioning and prodding (um, no lancing) you could be convinced of some loving on a nightly basis.
Have you thought to ask him? I can't think of a single solitary reason that a grown man would eschew the nudity of the woman he loves. Especially since your nudity gives us carte blanche to be nude too!! And like I said already, nude + nude = bootay! Which is better than U + Me = Us. I love my calculus.
Gal Pal says:
It's barely been warm this year. Are you sure he just wasn't gassy on that first night of spring? Talk it out, naked lady!
Thanks for playing, guys and girls. And please leave your nominations for the Best Comment of the Week in the comments section below - we'll feature the winner next week!
have to agree, the blog on banned due to break up media was awesome.