It seems that the caller found himself in a slight tiff with his new girlfriend of three months. Somehow, someway she discovered that his ex-girlfriend of two years was listed as his emergency conact. And she was pissed. She thought that it was disrespectful to their new committed relationship and also that by having his ex listed, it required them to be in contact when they should be done with one another. The guy on the other hand said that his ex, who he's cool with, just so happens to know his mother and father and has all of that contact information, not that she uses it, but in the event that something did happen, she has a relationship with them. It's not that big of a deal, it's merely somebody who knows who to call and who to get in touch with in the case of an emergency.
And you know what? That entire debate and conundrum perplexed me. Honestly, I see both sides. But I realized, this is a battle a man is going to lose every time. This has nothing to do with practicality. It's about the symbolism. It's about the emotional core of a woman and knowing that she is number one and that there is no other woman who is even remotely close to her man in such a fashion.
No matter how ridiculous the situation. They've been dating for three months, I'm pretty sure they don't know each other's parents at this point and are probably still getting siblings names confused. In case of emergency, you don't want somebody who can't remember if your sibling named Adrian is a guy or a chick. Or if the police need to get in touch with his mother, you want somebody who knows how to do so.
And the issue is not even that she (new chick) isn't the emergency contact, it's that the ex is. Why can't it be some other friend? Fair argument. This may sound odd, but for whatever reason, you tend to want the people who are absolutely closest to you to be that person. And an ex that you are friends with now would be that person.
I know women don't really buy the whole "we can still be cool" thing. But in case of emergency, you do want somebody who has your parent's numbers and can quickly get to them if necessary. Full disclosure: my ex is my emergency contact. But I also live in a city where I don't have but so many close friends. And we have a daughter together. If anybody needs to know what's going down, it's her because there's a life in the balance. Plus, she regularly talks to my parents because of our daughter. I assume that if a new woman were to come into my life she'd take issue with it, and maybe at some point she'd have just cause, but until the point where I felt she was that significant, she'd have to kick rocks on that front.
Anyway, what say you? How would you feel life if your new beau or beauette listed their ex as an emergency contact?
I think we all have to remember people have had lives before you, that didn't include you. And that's okay! Personally, I wouldn't want to be someones emergency contact after 3 months. There's a lot of things I wouldn't want to be after just three months. It makes sense for an ex you were with for 2 years was, because she probably knows you better.
She was only dating him for 3 months? She has no right to get upset! And yeah I understand the jealousy factor (I don't think I'd be above that), but this is a case when jealousy has to take the back burner... After she dates him for longer (say, 6 months to a year), maybe he could switch to listing her as his emergency contact if he really wants to appease her....
it should also be kept in mind that that kind of stuff rarely gets thought about. it wouldn't suddenly occur to me that "oh, i need to change my emergency contact". and three months? yeesh.
I don’t think if I was the ex-girlfriend of two years, I would want to be the emergency contact. I wouldn’t even want a regular friend of two years to be my emergency contact.
I was totally cool with the ex being the emergency contact when we were first going out. They were divorcing - obviously amicable - and I was new in his life. A year into our relationship, I became the emergency contact as by then I knew everyone in his life well... I have always tried to stay friends with my exes. Him staying in touch with her makes sense to me and is admirable in my eyes. There were young kids involved and it was important we all got along. Today I count her as one of my good friends... He makes me feel confident in us and she is a nice person. It works for us anyway...
I am in the exact same boat. If something were to happen to me, my ex (of 13 years) knows my family and will need to step up and be there for my kids.
Three months? Grow up!
Uh, so, if getting in touch with the parents is so important, why not just make one of THEM the emergency contact? I am I seriously the only one who thought of this? Is this not just common sense...?
Not everyone's parents might still be alive, living nearby or even in the same city. And if they are elderly, you may not want to trouble them...
This is a tough situation, but it's understandable that you need someone who knows who to call and who not to call. At three months you just don't know enough to be considered an emergency contact.
This is one of those things that you just have to take the "L" on.
I agree that three months seems to be a bit early to be panicking about these kind of things. After a year, I could understand being upset. I just got out of a relationship and my ex is still my emergency contact however, I'm alone right now, my family and sibling live 3000 miles away and we still get along 'well' (as well as two exes can get along I guess) so I do trust him in emergencies.
All depends on the situation I guess.