If that last sentence made any sense, you need to stop smoking weed.
Anyway, while time is definitely the main indicator, there's another way to really tell. It's what happens during that time-spent. And ladies, its really quite simple: a guy who really likes you will go into cornball mode. He'll become really sweet and say all the things you want to hear and will cringe while saying them. And you'll see it in his face, he'll speak slower and more deliberately. Hell, he might have to look away from you when he says things,which will be mostly because he's tripping over himself.
It's happened to every guy.
(Keep in mind, this is all during the courting stage. Once you all knock boots it all goes out the window and he becomes "the guy you hope can become the guy he was". Make sense? No? Good.)
He'll look at you and say, "I really like you hair. Not that I was noticing it but it was windy and the wind blew your hair my way so I couldn't NOT notice it. It's not like I stare at you. Gosh, is it hot in here? No, we're in a freezer? *CENSORED* Point is, your hair...that I didn't notice...is nice. Or cool. I think my mother just called me. I've got to go."
Extreme? Yes. Impossible? Not at all.
Now you have to weight this depending on the guys general level of cool. For instance, say you're dating the coolest cat in school. He's not going to be prone to moments where he lacks full confidence. But maybe he decides to get you a card. And writes something nice in it. And hesitates when he gives it to you. Got him.
Or maybe he wants to just drop some flowers off with you. Why? Um...because...you're hot? Got him. When men can't directly answer questions, we're goners. Interesting because we mostly don't understand why we're doing these things either. We're winging it.
Ladies, enjoy it. The period when a guy is being corny and writing you texts about nothing and getting you a card because you breathed - which you will hopefully do anyway - is the point where you can absolutely be sure a guy likes you.
This isn't to say that every guy will be a total cornball and do sweet things, etc. But if a guy is really, really into you, there's a good chance he's going to attempt to step outside of his comfort zone and be...well, nice and sweet. And a cornball. But the kind you want.
This is how Helen of Troy got the drop on mankind and we haven't been right since.
An interested man is an expressive one. Even if sounds like gibberish.
Love 40.
This is great, Peej. Although I am sitting here trying to remember if I've had anyone get cornball like that since High School. I don't believe I have. *weeps*
This has never happened to me, but it's cute to know if it ever does. :) great blog. xx
This pretty much sums up how my boyfriend is acting right now- we're only two weeks into the relationship, so Panama is right on the money about that.
This is the exact description of how my ex-bf was for precisely 3 months. Oh, the beginning of love! And then things cooled off, and then some months after that he changed. And then he said he didn't love me anymore. Oh the joys of being a man!
aww if only i could have read that 4 years ago!! A guy i liked for two years was like that with me, but i was so absolutly blind, ditzy, and had no self confidence. even asked me to lunch, but i didn't get it *faceplam* i was a truely stupid 16 year old...
Quite honestly, while I'm all for guys who become cornballs at the stage when they're trying to tell you they like you/falling in love with you/want to be with you, I still prefer them to be straight and upfront about it.
Women are sometimes clueless and oblivious to subtle (and even big) hints. I learned over time that mixed signals are just really signals that guys give when they're a) immature, b) uncertain and c) more likely not really into you. Actions speak louder than words, true. But more often than not, we need to hear words too.
Yes. While this stage is endearing, the guy has to tell you what his feelings are for you. If he does not actually say the words, you are in danger of reading into things...
I agree with Faye and SWSNBN. There's usually not much that's very ambiguous about "mixed messages". It just means that the girl who's trying to interpret them doesn't want to admit that the guy is not that into her.
Almost six years into our marriage (nine years into our relationship) my husband (second) still brings me flowers and says the most lovely things that I feel don't describe me at all. However, what has disappeared is the nervousness. He says these lovely things without blushing or stuttering. Having been married previously (to my grown childrens' father) I think that the relationships that keep the romance are the ones that are most likely to survive. Naturally the insecurity about making oneself vulnerable will disappear--and it should. But the romance never should or the relationship is doomed to becoming at the very least dull and at worst to destruction. The romance was muchly gone from my first marriage after our first child was born (two years in) was gone by the seventh year and third child, and had turned to animosity by the twelfth year. Both parties have to work at keeping it going--and it shouldn't feel like work!
My mom and dad still keep their romance alive. Teasing, date nights, flowers, special dinners. I was one of the lucky children who grew up believing true love exists because of this. :)
There's a man in my life who acts that way in his unguarded moments. He gets flustered and happy and won't look me in the eye. Then he recovers his composure and scampers off. I'm just waiting for him to develop the nerve to ask me out. It would disappoint me if these feelings go to waste but I suppose it's his choice.
My best friend is like this. But I can never tell, despite how I feel about him. Because he is sort of an idiot in general. Total cornball. With a lot of girls. But I moved 2000 miles away and it made it really hard. Now we only see each other about once a year. And last year when we saw each other... it was a nightmare. He couldn't look me in the eye. Couldn't hug me. Actually, we went to dinner and he left early, and when he left early he got up and hugged every person at the table starting with me. Then got all bumbling and ran away. And then when we were going to spend time together in person just the two of us he came over to watch a movie and sat on the opposite couch refusing to look at me. Awkward and bumbling. Does this mean he likes me? I don't know. Does this mean he is a strange awkward duck who couldn't handle the realization that I was there in person? I believe so. I may never know the truth. Til he visits me in July. We'll see how that goes.