All guys do it. We see you with some loser and think to ourselves, "What's she doing with him?" Is it jealousy? Of course. Sue us, we're human. We just don't understand why a nice girl like you would stay with a jackass like these guys.
1) THE DOUCHEBAG
Douchebags come in all varieties, but picture a guy who's too tan, too coiffed, and dresses too much like a South Beach gigolo. Overconfident and smug, the douchebag might love you, but there's someone he loves more: himself.
2) EL BURPO, THE DRUNK
Maybe it's leftover from your babysitting days, but some women seem to enjoy taking care of a guy who doesn't know when to say when. By 9, he's a barrel of laughs. By 10, he's loud and a little too pissed about the score of the game on TV. By 11, he's wasted and you leave before they toss you. By 12, you pull over so he can barf by the highway. Is this your idea of fun? Because it will happen again next weekend.
3) DAD
We know some women like older guys, but damn, are you dating your dad? Then who's that windbreaker-wearing, Old Spice-smelling, Cadillac-driving jeter we saw you with at Red Lobster? Did you get the senior discount?
4) BOYFRIEND IN THE CLOSET
That guy you're with -- he's gay, ya know. You may not know it, and he may not know it, but trust us, there's an identity crisis in his near future, and when it's over, he'll be batting for the other team. That makes you a Beard-In-Training.
5) MASTER AND COMMANDER
A guy who knows what he wants is one thing, but a guy who dictates what you want is another. He tells you where to go, when to be there, how to dress, which car to buy, why you picked the wrong career and which girlfriends you should dump because they're no good for you (i.e. he doesn't like them). Dump him instead.
6) CHRIS FARLEY
Do you really like 'em fat and sloppy, or is this just a pity date? Here's a napkin -- wipe that mustard off his pants.
7) THE PSYCHO
It was totally your fault that you were late for the party. How do we know? Because we listened to him berate you for 20 minutes. And that's in public. We shudder to think how he treats you in private.
8) SIR CLINGS-A-LOT
Isn't it nice to be wanted? Sure, until you get tired of having his arms on you every minute of every date, or when you don't go out with your girlfriends because he makes you feel guilty for leaving him at home alone. He needs a teddy bear, not a girlfriend.
9) SOURPUSS
No, he doesn't want to go out to dinner (too expensive), or to a club (too crowded), or to a movie (they all suck). Everyone is stupid and they all get on his nerves. We can see why you date him.
1) THE DOUCHEBAG
Douchebags come in all varieties, but picture a guy who's too tan, too coiffed, and dresses too much like a South Beach gigolo. Overconfident and smug, the douchebag might love you, but there's someone he loves more: himself.
2) EL BURPO, THE DRUNK
Maybe it's leftover from your babysitting days, but some women seem to enjoy taking care of a guy who doesn't know when to say when. By 9, he's a barrel of laughs. By 10, he's loud and a little too pissed about the score of the game on TV. By 11, he's wasted and you leave before they toss you. By 12, you pull over so he can barf by the highway. Is this your idea of fun? Because it will happen again next weekend.
3) DAD
We know some women like older guys, but damn, are you dating your dad? Then who's that windbreaker-wearing, Old Spice-smelling, Cadillac-driving jeter we saw you with at Red Lobster? Did you get the senior discount?
4) BOYFRIEND IN THE CLOSET
That guy you're with -- he's gay, ya know. You may not know it, and he may not know it, but trust us, there's an identity crisis in his near future, and when it's over, he'll be batting for the other team. That makes you a Beard-In-Training.
5) MASTER AND COMMANDER
A guy who knows what he wants is one thing, but a guy who dictates what you want is another. He tells you where to go, when to be there, how to dress, which car to buy, why you picked the wrong career and which girlfriends you should dump because they're no good for you (i.e. he doesn't like them). Dump him instead.
6) CHRIS FARLEY
Do you really like 'em fat and sloppy, or is this just a pity date? Here's a napkin -- wipe that mustard off his pants.
7) THE PSYCHO
It was totally your fault that you were late for the party. How do we know? Because we listened to him berate you for 20 minutes. And that's in public. We shudder to think how he treats you in private.
8) SIR CLINGS-A-LOT
Isn't it nice to be wanted? Sure, until you get tired of having his arms on you every minute of every date, or when you don't go out with your girlfriends because he makes you feel guilty for leaving him at home alone. He needs a teddy bear, not a girlfriend.
9) SOURPUSS
No, he doesn't want to go out to dinner (too expensive), or to a club (too crowded), or to a movie (they all suck). Everyone is stupid and they all get on his nerves. We can see why you date him.
Sadly these seem to be 9/10 of the available male population.
Too true I have to say. Also the comment regarding this list being the vast majority of the male population is also true. Here is a short list of the girls you guys date that make us wonder.
1. The Mean Girl - Is it really fun to be with a girl that berates you constantly in public (tuck in your shirt, don't order that cheeseburger)? Hopefully she's letting you have sex with her a LOT, but I doubt it
2. The Slutbag - We sincerely hope you're wrapping it up with her and that our chain of sexual connection NEVER intersects with yours. Do you really find her microskirt that shows off her vagina attractive? So did the other douche bags she went home with in the week before she met you.
3. The Crazy Girl - This is the one we will never understand. Why oh why do you stay with the girl who you came home to her dancing with fire chains on your bed when she doesn't even live there or the girl who is still in couples counseling with her soon to be ex husband because he sided with her rapist? (These are both true stories) Is this your way of trying to be a savior?
All I could think of while reading this post was that lyric from that song: "Is she really going out with him?" Hilarious.
Unfortunately, while this is all true, a lot of those traits mentioned are signs of domestic violence. If your significant other ever alienAates you from your friends/family, or makes you feel threatened in anyway, it's time to leave.
Don't believe them when they say they will never do it again. They will and it will get worse! Get out before it gets harder to leave!
What if you know a genuinely nice guy who happens to maybe be an alcoholic perhaps?