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The Mile High Club Is For Losers (110% True)

A former flight attendant on Oprah Winfrey's private jet is suing the media mogul for $75,000. The ex-employee, Corrine Gehrls, says she was wrongly accused of having sex with chief pilot Terry Pansing while Oprah was on board, and was fired as a consequence. This brings up the important legal question: who wants to have sex on a plane?

It's an enduring sexual fantasy that is of little or no interest to me. And yet, many people brag about belonging to the "Mile High Club." There is nothing sexy about hurtling at 34,000 feet in a pressurized tube, inhaling the poorly recycled molecules of other passengers. Allegedly, the act normally happens in the bathroom, which, I'll remind you, is a chemical toilet. Does the deafening, high-decibel roar of turbine engines make some people swoon? A friend of mine once told me his girlfriend manually gratified under a blanket during a red eye. I have never been on a flight in my life, and I've flown often, where I am not across from a grandmother, in front of a cooing toddler, and behind a large man with steel-tipped knee-caps. I understand exhibitionism, but a airplane cabin is a cross between your parent's basement filled with your extended family, and a coffin. Seriously, it's just not a sexy location. Other spots that are total boner-killers: bus station, ICU's, crematoriums. 

Ms. Gehrl might be the victim of defamation, and therefore, wrongfully fired. But if these accusation are true, she should have been given ye olde heave ho for engaging in such a tacky sex act. Not because it was improper, but because it's just gross. Do it in Oprah's limo, at least. 

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3 Comments

GalSpeak

What about in a car while driving on the highway? I know 3 different guys who've said that's a fantasy of theirs.... but it seems kind of dangerous - not just for the guy driving but for all the people on the road with him!

Panama Jackson

I kind of have to wonder if airplane bathrooms haven't gotten smaller b/c I've heard about the Mile High Club but I can barely fit in the airplane bathrooms by myself, let alone try to invite some woman with curves in with me.

Then again, I fly airlines that don't even give you seats sometimes (yay, Southwest) so maybe I'm going where the small bathrooms are.

Megan

Was the pilot fired as well? Cause if it were just her that's just plain wrong.

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