The question of The One comes up often. Is he The One? How do I make sure she is The One. The truth is The One is felt not known. It is surrendering to a belief, a feeling, often quite a powerful feeling, but none the less an emotional response to a set of circumstances.
This week I got a question close to home, asking me about my own One. How did I know Mrs. Funny Guy was the one? Was it an "aha moment" or a more gradual understanding that I wanted to ring her for life.
You want the truth? Here it is:
I would have to say it was a powerful combination of an "aha moment" anchored in timing. It's pretty hard to separate one from the other, but I am fairly sure that had I met Mrs. FG, say, eight years earlier I might not have had my head on secure enough to know how amazing she is. In other words, timing, as cliché as it sounds, is a pivotal factor in finding The One. That's not be confused with deciding you are ready and forcing a One to be The One. But I am confident that when two adults fall deeply in love and move into marriage it is not only the seamless mix of personalities bundled in attraction and cemented in common values, but also very much a product of timing. Good timing. Now, that doesn't mean it wasn't 100% romantic and magical. It was. It just means every play you're in needs an environment, a stage. In love and dating, think of timing as that stage.
Once the stage is set, it's on to the enchanted stuff. Here are ten things that rocked my world, QUICK, upon meeting The Divine Miss FG:
1. I felt 100% myself around her.
2. I loved how she looked and moved and interacted with people.
3. I could deeply relate to her upbringing/family and immediately sensed a commonality of values.
4. Her hands were beautiful (I like hands).
5. She smelled nice.
6. My friends and family instantly fell for her.
7. My closest friends told me I'd never seemed happier or more grounded.
8. The idea of sleeping with other women as the alternative to being with this one and one only seemed terribly small and empty.
9. We clicked in bed. From kissing to spooning to.... forking.
10. The idea of someday living together and starting a family made me feel like the luckiest dude on planet earth.
Questions for you:
Do you have examples of great love and bad timing? Staging?
Can the purest of loves out will bad timing?
Have you ever settled for someone because you thought it was time?
Love, in itself, isn't enough.
truth. How about a blog post on when "the one" feeling fades? what then?
The ONE, theoretically doesn't fade. If it does, than what can one do but move on to the next ONE.
I have a question related to timing. I am 31 and looking for a serious relationship, marriage and kids. I am afraid a 30 year old male would not be in the same state of mind, although I know it depends on the person. Anyone have any thought on that?
When I was in Israel for a year, I was set up with a wonderful young man. We were both about 19 and "clicked" magically, the way people do in fairy tales. Unfortunately, I had to go back to the US in 3 months for college, and he was in the Israeli Army. Staying was not a good option for me, and it just didn't make sense to us to start a relationship knowing that in 3 months we'd be 6000 miles apart with no reunion in sight. Long story short: We both changed a hell of a lot over the few years that we kept in touch. He married another Anglo Israeli and had a daughter, and I haven't heard from him since. I am now engaged to the most wonderful man God could ever have sent me - a man who, as it happens, I met in 2007 when it wasn't the right time yet!
While we're sharing, Funny Guy I'm just wondering, how long was it between you realizing she was the One, and you deciding you wouldn't let this One go and you proposed? Just curious.
Sure. We moved in together after 8 months and got married less than 2 years from date ONE.
so you're saying timing is everything? even if you feel, breathe and think she's the one? what is one to do if you think that person is the one but the timing is not there? are you supposed to let that person go?
Well, no. timing isn't everything. But it is baked into the ingredients and it would be silly to not think WHEN something happens is critical to it happening. right?
I agree with FG that Timing is everything! My bf n were friends but we never thought about dating each other, I didn't see him then the way I do now, he's changed a lot and I have too, we grew up and figured what we like and what we want in a partner, and I feel really lucky to be with him now, I have to agree timing is everything :)