Apparently one of the latest fads in the wedding industry complex, something I'm up against constantly as the big day approaches, are wedding... I suppose the best term is "disinvitations". It's where you print up a nice, frilly announcement that you mail to all the people you are not inviting to let them know you're getting married and they aren't coming.
You know, because planning a wedding isn't stressful enough. Let's salt the earth with a bunch of emotional land mines designed to set off angry phone calls!
There are two camps about why it happens. The first is one I'm somewhat skeptical of, and that's the happy couple being a bunch of self-involved trolls who want to gloat. Don't get me wrong: I've been to a few bridal expos and the like, and I've seen couples like this in action. Heck, WeTV has a highly successful reality show about them. They exist. And I'm sure they love this idea.
But the second one is more credible; it's an attempt, however misguided, to try and tell a larger group directly that you're getting married but that, uh, we can't afford to have you come, sorry.
True, printing wedding stationery of any sort generally involves the kind of prices that make you wonder if they use unicorn blood or something, so that seems a bit of a weak justification. On the other hand, I've had this conversation at least three times:
"Hey, I heard you're getting married."
"Yeah, thanks, it's stressful but I'm looking forward to it."
"So, is it going to be a plus one situation or..."
"Oh. Yeah. Heh. You see, it's kinda like this..."
Granted, once the word "budget" leaves your lips, anybody who isn't an awful person generally gets the hint: We like you, but this costs and we have to cut somewhere. But it's still an awkward situation to have, and if there are, what's a nice way of putting this, pissy people in your life, the desire to just send them something in the mail is strong.
Personally, I'd rather have the awkward conversations. Really, anybody who is going to be angry at you for not buying them a steak is not somebody you want in your life, and it'll be good preparation for the many, many awkward conversations you'll have elsewhere while planning your wedding.
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That's awful never in a million years would I do that. My father told me if you want them at your wedding you invite them to everything or don't invite them at all. When my mother's boss got married she invited my mom and dad to the church and the reception, not the dinner. After the ceremony in the receiving line she told my mom and dad they had some cancellations for dinner. My parents politely declined, they had made dinner reservations with some other friends.
It's not really dis-inviting them. They call it "sending out wedding announcements" that go out after the wedding to everyone you couldn't afford to invite. IMHO it is tacky and rude - not to mention a waste of money.
I agree.
I feel your pain, Mr. Seitz, as I'm also enduring the same sort of bridal torture you and your lovely fiance must surely be facing. Between the engagement announcements, the save-the-date cards, setting up the wedding website, the wedding invitations, the thank you cards, and the wedding announcements -- all the planning is enough to drive any sane human being CRAZY. Because we're leaning towards having a destination wedding and it's going to be impossible to invite all the people our parents would want us to invite (close colleagues of theirs, neighbors and very extended family members), they're insisting that we reserve time with a photographer so that we can incorporate the picture into our wedding announcements which will go out after the wedding. As for the well-intentioned wedding planners and their insistence on us attending bridal expos so that we have some idea of what theme, food, etc we'd like for our event -- *groans* --- we've come to the realization that planning these things isn't for the faint hearted. (Running off and quietly eloping in some other country is starting to sound exceedingly appealing!!)
they're insisting that we reserve time with a photographer so that we can incorporate the picture into our wedding announcements which will go out after the wedding