There's a terrific list bouncing around Facebook right now called "30 Things You Need To Stop Doing To Yourself." It's from the site, Marc And Angel Hack Life, and it's a lot more meaty and relevant than most lists of this ilk that you see online.
Several entries on the list make me think specifically about you, Guyspeak readers: the questions you ask, the choices you make, the things you put up with, the ways in which you question or blame yourselves for others' behavior. That's why I want to share some of the list with you: to instruct and encourage you as we head towards a new year, and to remind you to be kind to yourselves.
Stop spending time with the wrong people. Life is too short to spend with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they'll make room for you. You shouldn't have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who overlooks your worth.
Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too.
Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. We all make mistakes, have struggles, regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes or your struggles, and you are here now with the power to shape your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment yet to come.
Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. If you're not happy with who you are, you won't be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else. You have to create stability in your own life before you can share it with someone else.
Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. It's better to be alone than to be in bad company. If something is meant to be, it will happen - in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you're ready, not when you're lonely.
Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. Life's curveballs are thrown for a reason - to shift your path in a direction meant for you. You may not understand everything the moment it happens, but reflect back and you'll often see that those curveballs led you to a better situation.
Stop worrying so much. Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: "Will this matter in one year's time? Three years? Five years?"
These are pared-down versions of longer entries. You can read the entire list here, and I encourage you to do so. Consider it the first step in being kinder to you in 2012.
May you all have joyous and peaceful holidays.
Relationships
Nice list Cary...
Thanks. All credit goes to Marc and Angel. Be sure to read the full list if you haven't. It's much better than these small selections.
Yes I did..., I sent it to my daughter.
I love this. Especially the one about putting youself on the back burner.
It's so true. I think I am going to be keeping this list bookmarked!
So am I. Thanks.
Thanks for sharing, and for all of your contributions, CM. You and your compadres have made a difference in many lives by providing thoughtful, honest feedback and advice.
Happy Holidays.
Thank you!
Stop spending time with the wrong people & Stop worrying so much - were two unofficial resolutions I made last year. It's not easy initially to cut ties with people who are no good for you or cutting down on the worrying but once done - I've realised that my life has become a much happier , easier and less stressful place.
Yes! I excised some toxic people from my life this year as well, and I highly recommend it. My only regret is not doing it sooner.
To the first one: "If he's dumb enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go." (got it off Pinterest. best thing since facebook.)
"Stop spending time with the wrong people." That one hit home. I think it definitely applies to friends as well as lovers. But then you choose who to cut off and that wonderful fear of loneliness kicks into play....