If you detect some spelling errors in this post, please forgive me. It's only because my hands are shaking, though whether from sheer rage or a horrifying tickle flashback, I know not.
But I type through the pain, because someone needs to take a stand. Ladies--tickling is not cool. It's not okay with us. Please stop doing it, and I'm not saying that in a cute way, or arguing with you to be funny.
No, the fact that I'm laughing does NOT mean "I must be enjoying it." If I wet my pants, will you believe me? Because I will, and it won't be because I lost bladder control. It will be in PROTEST.
Torture (N.) - Physical discomfort inflicted against the will; helplessness in the face of pain.
Tickling (N.) - Ditto.
As a comedian, I can certainly understand the humorous contrast inherent in rendering prostate such a towering behemoth of a man with but the wiggling of a few digits. But fuck that.
If I picked you up the next time we were having dinner at your parents' house, and carried you under my arm making airplane noises because I loved "the look on your face," you and half of my assets would soon be a distant memory. Wow, the fictional version of you is really unforgiving.
Consider this a warning, avatar of femininity: next time you decide to go for the back of my leg, you may find my "uncontrolled flails" a little face-centric. And I hope every man reading this follows suit. That's right, if you tickle me, I hope every man who reads this kicks you in the face.
I feel strongly about this.
Thank you, and God bless you, and God bless America.
But I type through the pain, because someone needs to take a stand. Ladies--tickling is not cool. It's not okay with us. Please stop doing it, and I'm not saying that in a cute way, or arguing with you to be funny.
No, the fact that I'm laughing does NOT mean "I must be enjoying it." If I wet my pants, will you believe me? Because I will, and it won't be because I lost bladder control. It will be in PROTEST.
Torture (N.) - Physical discomfort inflicted against the will; helplessness in the face of pain.
Tickling (N.) - Ditto.
As a comedian, I can certainly understand the humorous contrast inherent in rendering prostate such a towering behemoth of a man with but the wiggling of a few digits. But fuck that.
If I picked you up the next time we were having dinner at your parents' house, and carried you under my arm making airplane noises because I loved "the look on your face," you and half of my assets would soon be a distant memory. Wow, the fictional version of you is really unforgiving.
Consider this a warning, avatar of femininity: next time you decide to go for the back of my leg, you may find my "uncontrolled flails" a little face-centric. And I hope every man reading this follows suit. That's right, if you tickle me, I hope every man who reads this kicks you in the face.
I feel strongly about this.
Thank you, and God bless you, and God bless America.
Of all the words to misspell, Michael.. 'Prostate'? I hope to God that was intentional.
Haha, I hear ya Michael. I can't stand being tickled
Than why do guys tickle us if they don't want to be tickled back?! ahhh i hate being tickled, especially when im trying to do something (like driving!)
I'll make a deal with you, Michael- if you can get the guys of the world to stop tickling, I'll personally stop the women. Fair?
I see many more guys initiate tickling than I observe girls tickling, and I understand- it's a relatively easy way to initiate touching that would normally be seen as creepy, but seriously? I hate being tickled, and it's still creepy.
Furthermore, if someone says they're not ticklish, the theory should not be tested. If tickling has been tried and it didn't work- QUIT TRYING TO FIND WHERE IT WILL.
yes... if you hate being tickled so much, then why do you do it to us?! I'd really like an answer to THAT question!!!
Instead of calling this Tickling: A Desperate Plea, maybe you should call it "Tickling: Engage At Your Own Risk!" Because I know I get f*ing angry as hell when people tickle me, which has been the cause of several ass whuppins by me (ever so lovingly inflicted, I might add). I let people I date know (politely) that I can't stand it and to please not tickle me, like ever. If they ignore this warning, well, don't be surprised when I get pissed.
I'm with you, Michael. ANTI-TICKLERS UNITE! Rawr.
The only time I tickle is in retaliation. Bu normally I do something more severe like pinch or accidentally elbow/knee him in the face. It's his own fault, he's the one that made me flail.
big baby... heh
its only fair to tickle you guys i mean you tickle us cuz you think its cute how we squirm and giggle so its just pay back
Yeah. The day my boyfriend stops tickling me will be the best day of my life, because I'm not ticklish on my sides, so really he just kind of jabs his fingers into my ribs and it seems when I yell, "Ben, seriously, stop, that doesn't even tickle it's just plain fucking uncomfortable and kind of hurts" he just mistakes it for giggling.
why do y'all tickle us? i am all for an all around tickle ban! it's about revenge for the last time you kept tickling while cried stop.
I once got tickled by a woman before we were going to have sex. There I was laid there naked, and she bends over and tickles my stomach. My legs raised up to my chest by instinct and I accidentally kneed her in the face. We didn't end up having sex after that.
Consider this a warning, women of the world. If you tickle us, we will knee you in the face. Maybe entirely by accident, but it may still happen.
Beware men of the world who like to tickle, you'll get a kick somewhere not pleasant.
I love how I type, "If you're not ticklish your parents hated you" on Google and this is what popped up...
(: