By "translating guyspeak" I don't mean this site, but the things guys say vs. what they really mean. Guys aren't always forthright about their intentions, usually because we don't want to get knocked upside the head. So here's a handy list you can print, clip and keep in your purse for those moments when you're not sure what the hell he's talking about. Most of these are in response to questions you have asked me.

He says: It's not you, it's me.
He means: It's you.

I like you a lot.
But I don't love you.

I need a little time to think about what I want.
I need a little time to find another girlfriend but I'm keeping you on hold just in case I need a fallback.

You wanna hang out some time?
I like you but I'm too shy, lazy or scared of rejection to ask you out on a real date.

Can I drop by later?
And bone ya?

Aren't you in my biology class?
I noticed you the first day and I think you're pretty.

I'm really busy with work/school/making the Millennium Falcon out of Legos
I'm not that into you.

My last girlfriend was a total bitch.
She broke up with me.

My last girlfriend wasn't really into oral sex.
And I'm sure it wasn't because I never reciprocated.

You look nice today. I like your outfit/hair/nose ring/tattoo.
I have the hots for you.

Call me.
I don't like you enough to pursue you, but if you pursue me hard enough, maybe we can have sex.

I like your sweater.
Wow, nice funbags!

I want you physically, emotionally and mentally.
I'm not sure what that means, but they said it on Gray's Anatomy, and women seem to like that show.

I'm not looking for anything serious right now.
Unless you consider lots of sex without any commitment serious.

I'm just living at home until I can save enough money for college.
I'm living at home as long as my mom keeps making me sandwiches and doing my laundry.

Let's go out some time.
Let's not go out some time. If I really wanted to go out, I'd make a firm plan.

You scare me.
I'm intimidated by your confidence and assertiveness.

I'll never cheat again.
I hope I'll never cheat again, but I probably will.

Hey, aren't you friends with ___________?
I totally have the hots for her.

I miss you.
I haven't gotten laid since we broke up and I'm thinking maybe a quick encore or two with you will do the trick.

You're wound a little tight.
Let me rub your shoulders. Okay, now your back. Take off that top so I can get to it easier.

I still want to be friends.
I just want you to stop crying.

I'm not really wild about your friends/family.
I think they've figured out that I'm not that into you.

Are you going to Josh's pool party?
I'm dying to see you in a bikini.

My wife doesn't understand me.
Especially the part about sleeping with other women.

I'm falling for you.
I think I'm in love with you but I'm not ready to say it yet because I'm not sure if you're in love with me, and I don't want to look like a fool.

Are you mad at me about something?
Oh shit, you found out what I did, didn't you?

I hope this helps. You're welcome.