What's a real man? Do real men give ugly sweaters as gifts? Would a real man give you his number or ask for yours? And what do real men really hate to hear in bed? Time to real-man-up for GuySpeak's Best of the Week!
Wise-Ass says:
There are times in life when you have to be very careful what you say. In court, for example, or talking to your boyfriend's mother. Ordering dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant. When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Do you know why I stopped you?" When your 9-year-old sister wants to know what a blow job is. And, perhaps most importantly of all, in bed. So the next time you're in the sack with a guy and you don't want it to end tragically, avoid saying any of these 24 things:
1. Is it in yet?
3. Shh! I think my dad's awake.
6. Don't worry, that's just poison ivy.
7. No, no, it's cute!
11. If you hear a car pull up in the driveway, get under the bed, fast.
20. Let us pray...
23. Don't worry, it's never great the first time.
Gal Pal says:
Read the rest of Cary's wise-ass warning list at the link above. And guys, here's something never to say to a girl in bed: "I see you take after your mother." Got any more no-nos to add to the list, ladies?
Chic Geek says:
Ouch. Did you have a sudden onset of "present face"? That's a rough one. We've all been there.
Okay, here's the thing...you have to wear it at least once. Sorry. Suck it up and wear it a couple times between now and Christmas. And then, take it out of the rotation. If he asks, let him know that you love the thought, but it isn't really your style. Honesty is the best policy here. You might think you can hide your disappointment, but studies show that you probably can't. Body language, and your initial reaction to the gift ("Wow! Just what I wanted. It's so...sweater-y!"), will likely give you away. Being honest will help him the next time he shops for you. Hopefully he'll either steer clear of clothes (a good rule of thumb for guys when shopping for their significant other, unless it's lingerie) or at least pay better attention to the sort of things you wear in the future.
Gal Pal says:
Maybe the sweater is a fake-out present and he's going to give you a diamond as your real present on Christmas Eve! Sorry - that was cruel. But the point is, we should never burden gifts with our own expectations. We should accept them with grace for what they are - symbols of love, not symbols of taste. My mom still whispers to me about the ugly leisure suit my dad gave her in the '70s, but then swears me to silence "so we don't hurt your father's feelings." From 35 years ago! Even though my dad went horribly wrong with the first gift, my mom knew she could "gift train" him in the future. So wear the sweater to every hipster/ironic event you can. And next year do a lot more hinting - or enlist a friend to steer him clear of the K-Mart sweater sale.
Mystery Man says:
No. Not wrong in the least. As long as neither of you is in a new relationship. That would simply not be fair. If he is, then no. Sex is off the menu, sorry. If he isn't - have some no hassle fun.
Gal Pal says:
Go ahead and jingle his bells. Have a ho-ho-ho good time! The holidays are all about peace on earth - and in your bed. But do yourself a favor and find a new boy for the new year, OK?
Girls' BFF says:
In my estimation, it's probably time to let that person go. Here's my thinking on this: If you're going to go so far as to make a list of a person's pros and cons, then you are concerned about something.
When there is concern about somebody in your life, the pros should outweigh the cons. You know, I'm really curious about this "pros and cons are the exact same thing." Since the good and bad are the same thing in this case, it means you have nowhere to go but stay the course you're already on. And I'm guessing that isn't a good thing.
Gal Pal says:
What happens when a person's pros and cons are the same? Well, if you're dating him, you're making a mistake. The guy you're in a relationship with should be tilting heavily toward the pro side. If he's walking straight down the middle, it's time to quit him. But if this pro/con person is serving you fries at McDonald's, go ahead and finish the transaction.
Funny Guy says:
You are not a man, nor are you dating a man if any of the below criteria is not met:
3. Can bench press double their body weight
4. Fantasize about lions eating gazelle meat
9. Use a double knot on their New Balance
16. Sleep on the left side of the bed
17. Sneeze loud
25. Press the elevator buttons even if you just did
27. Use their chins to fold towels
Gal Pal says:
Read the rest of Amit's awes-man list at the link above. You're also a real man - with an extra few inches - if you're from a rural area, apparently. Whoa, baby.
Reformed Player says:
It means this is a dude who has given his number to other women before, only to have them not call him back. So he's fighting game playing with game playing. He's been hurt before, or frustrated, and he's decided to give up. You have all of the power now. Traditionally, men have had all of the dating power. It was our responsibility to ask a woman out, call her with the plan and pay for the date, But it's 2010! All bets are off! Dating be keee-razy and topsy turvy!
This guy is probably a little insecure, but who isn't? Yes, he's playing a game. But the only way to stop the madness of these silly little rituals is to refuse to participate in them. In the case of this brodawg, I bet he's expecting that you won't call. Because women don't call back when you give them your number. Prove him wrong. Call the guy. Play this little game, because it will surprise him that you called. Then from the get-go, be up front and honest.
Gal Pal says:
Oh, go ahead and call him! Assuming it's his real number, he's still putting himself out there for you. You can call always him and charmingly explain that you never call men, so he should hang up and dial you back. If you're into him, give him a ring. It is, after all, time for peace on earth and goodwill toward men!
That's it for this week. Thanks for playing, guys and girls!
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