We've all had an embarrassing crush. (Joey Lawrence from "Blossom," anyone?) Their lovelorn memory either makes us cringe or still gives us the tingles. Guys, who's your most embarrassing crush of past or present?
Funny Guy says:
I profess to having had a rage crushing on Nellie Olsen from Little House on the Prairie fame. Look at her, she's hott!
I don't know if it was those blonde Middle-America pigtails, her up-to-no-good eyes, or just the total saucy package of Walnut Creek meanness. When episodes revolved around her, 10-year-old Funny Guy felt funny in the pants. Am I embarrassed? No, not really. Actually, wait; I was a 10-year boy kid dashing home from school to catch Little House on the Prairie reruns everyday. Yes, you got me; I'm ashamed.
Wise-Ass says:
Bea Arthur. I'm still not over her death, so please don't ask me to elaborate.
Chic Geek says:
I have two current guilty Twitter crushes: Meghan McCain and Coco, Ice-T's ridiculously plastic wife whose butt is shaped like an IKEA end table. They are both an endless source of entertainment. Also, Snooki. Read into those what you will.
Gal Pal says:
I once had a crush on my high school vice principal, who looked exactly like Mr. Green from the movie "Clue." He also happened to be my best friend's dad. When homecoming my freshman year rolled around, I hit the jackpot. He very gallantly took his daughter, me and two other girls without dates to the Olive Garden and then drove us to the dance. I could care less that I didn't have a date...I was eating chicken parm with the VP! I was - and still am - such a nerd lovah!
Girls' BFF says:
Oh for me that's easy. Diane Keaton. And I'm not talking about Godfather-era Diane Keaton. I mean Something's Gotta Give, Because I Said So era Diane Keaton. I don't know why I find her appealing. She's older than my mother and, frankly, a little more wrinkly than I tend to look for nowadays. But something about her just seems awfully attractive. Perhaps it's her goofball demeanor. Gosh, I don't know. But Diane Keaton if you're listening, call me. 867-5309. Timmy knows the number.
Mystery Man says:
There was a girl, once. Well, a woman, really. I loved her. Deeply and passionately. Silently. Hopelessly. No other woman could compare, in my mind, they all came up shallow and empty beside her. She knew it too, though I never said a word about it to her, nor her to me.
The last time I saw her was on her wedding day. When she married my best friend.
Mystery Man, my heart just broke a little bit, and then a little bit more. Condolences from a stranger would probably seem shallow, so I'll just leave it here.
Wait a minute, MM. Isn't that the plot of My Best Friend's Wedding?
I was thinking The Runaway Bride, but you're probably right.
I was thinking a combo of both to indicate Julia Roberts... So you both might be right.
Oh MM, it sounds like a legendary love you had for her, like she (or you) had to disappear into the sunset for the sake of her happiness. I can tell by how you write how much you loved her.
Snicker. As in what I just did.
Mario Batali.
What?? He's brilliant!
That's awesome, Melissa! And you know Mario would never let you go hungry :)
For a while now I've had a bit of a crush on Doug Benson. Sure, he's a widely-known stoner and he's literally twice my age, but he's funny and has a nice smile!
Channing Tatum!!! I'm feeling hot just thinking about him, but many people don't know him. So whenever I say his name, i get a "who?".
I had a crush on that guy on CNN that wore the big bow tie around the time Bush got voted in a second time... The only reason I'm embarrassed is because he was a conservative heh