As the forward march of human progress has ground inevitably on (okay,
there was that one backslide during the Dark Ages), one thing has
remained constant: everyone wants to kiss each other, and yet for SOME
reason society demands that we go through elaborate dating rituals
before we can.
Admittedly, dating nowadays has got 14th century dating beat on a number of fronts. You can treat your date to a much wider variety of food and wine, there are fewer leeches involved, and most peoples' genitals don't "reek of history," if you know what I mean.
Not to mention the fact that you're in no real danger of getting your skull drilled "to release the evil spirits" if it doesn't work out. Also, you can date someone of the same sex and no one murders you a lot of the time.
But as fabulously enlightened as the current dating scene is, there's one that's got it beat: FUTURE DATING. Let me paint you a picture. With words. It's more of a story, really; forget the picture thing.
It's date night. Thanks to the ubiquitous surveillance systems and spyware woven into every facet of your life, you're all set to meet your scientifically determined, statistically perfect Facebook-approved date at her house. Sounds pretty normal, right?
Did I mention her house is in space?!
You can thank the space elevator for that little jab to God's eye. Even as I type this, scientists are hard at work figuring out how to make the really tall Jetson houses a reality. They claim the space elevator will allow for cheaper, more efficient space flight, a booming commercial industry, and innumerable research benefits. But of course, the truth of the matter is they've secretly figured out that global warming is going to kill all "surface dwellers" by 2085 and they've found an out.
Well, that's all well and good, because it means you and your date will be dining at the fabulous Uranus Grille (you wanted to go to the Pleiades Lounge, but the androids rented that out for some kind of "rise up against the humans" rally). From your booth on the 7.13x10^5th floor, you can enjoy an uninterrupted view of the decaying corpse of Earth while sharing some fresh, hot Uranus Leek Soup and trying not to giggle.
Thanks to your Axe: Pheremone body spray, dinner lasts all of fifteen minutes before you make filthy space-monkey love in the dumbwaiter. Afterwards, lying nude and exhausted in each others' arms beneath the glow of the Milky Way, you think to wonder why a space elevator would have a dumbwaiter in the first place.
Then you're summarily jettisoned into the sucking void of space, surviving only long enough to read the word "airlock" on your recently vacated love nest. That's right! No calling the next day!
And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what a date will be like in a hundred years. Truly, it will be a paradise without parallel. And the best part of all? You can pee right in your suit!
Admittedly, dating nowadays has got 14th century dating beat on a number of fronts. You can treat your date to a much wider variety of food and wine, there are fewer leeches involved, and most peoples' genitals don't "reek of history," if you know what I mean.
Not to mention the fact that you're in no real danger of getting your skull drilled "to release the evil spirits" if it doesn't work out. Also, you can date someone of the same sex and no one murders you a lot of the time.
But as fabulously enlightened as the current dating scene is, there's one that's got it beat: FUTURE DATING. Let me paint you a picture. With words. It's more of a story, really; forget the picture thing.
It's date night. Thanks to the ubiquitous surveillance systems and spyware woven into every facet of your life, you're all set to meet your scientifically determined, statistically perfect Facebook-approved date at her house. Sounds pretty normal, right?
Did I mention her house is in space?!
You can thank the space elevator for that little jab to God's eye. Even as I type this, scientists are hard at work figuring out how to make the really tall Jetson houses a reality. They claim the space elevator will allow for cheaper, more efficient space flight, a booming commercial industry, and innumerable research benefits. But of course, the truth of the matter is they've secretly figured out that global warming is going to kill all "surface dwellers" by 2085 and they've found an out.
Well, that's all well and good, because it means you and your date will be dining at the fabulous Uranus Grille (you wanted to go to the Pleiades Lounge, but the androids rented that out for some kind of "rise up against the humans" rally). From your booth on the 7.13x10^5th floor, you can enjoy an uninterrupted view of the decaying corpse of Earth while sharing some fresh, hot Uranus Leek Soup and trying not to giggle.
Thanks to your Axe: Pheremone body spray, dinner lasts all of fifteen minutes before you make filthy space-monkey love in the dumbwaiter. Afterwards, lying nude and exhausted in each others' arms beneath the glow of the Milky Way, you think to wonder why a space elevator would have a dumbwaiter in the first place.
Then you're summarily jettisoned into the sucking void of space, surviving only long enough to read the word "airlock" on your recently vacated love nest. That's right! No calling the next day!
And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what a date will be like in a hundred years. Truly, it will be a paradise without parallel. And the best part of all? You can pee right in your suit!
Relationshit Question:
If you meet a dude at a party and exchange numbers, is it really seen as desperate if you call first? My roommate says yes, I say no.
I was told once by a guy that said- "Trust me, if a guy likes a girl they will pursue her... you don't need to do anything, men are simple"
So I would recommend do nothing and don't waste your time on someone who is just not that into you.
I agree with you. If you pursue the guy, he's most likely not going to put much effort into you or a potential relationship... because the cat's already in the bag, with basically no energy on his part.
It really is true that if he wants you, he'll do everything humanly possible to get you. And personally I think it's nicer to know that he wants me, rather than constantly being concerned that he's with me just because I went knocking on his door.
Unless I get to date Gigeresque ladies I'm not interested.
I'm a Giger fan and now thoroughly disturbed...
Goddamnit, Swaim. My mancrush for you is the not-gayest mancrush ever.
What is the etiquette for sex in the space elevator?
Fully suited up and you have to apologize afterwards. So the same as now.
tits
Do I have to care about all of his Problems? It takes a lot of effort and I get bored.
when my friend said my date sucked and i said did she swallow, was that insensitive?
No, it was hilarious. Though there is definitely a fine line between the two.
Do guys ever pick out a women to date next just in case their current relationship goes south?
Axe is great stuff. I go through a can a day. Drives the broads wild.
Blergh, Axe will be the downfall of mankind. Not only will it's aerosol cans speed up global warming, but the human race will die out because females will refuse to mate with men who wear axe, which, lets face it, are most young, virile men.
thats not true it may be killling the earth but it smells great most of my guy friends wear it and it makes me feel like kissing them all the time! and girls wear alot of crap too like hair spray which is kinda stupid since we all say we want to be loved for being ourselfs when half of what we have on is fake (fake nails,fake hair,push up bras,makeup) we go with what magazines and ppl say and wear what should make us pretty instead of just being happy with what we have if anyone is going to end up killing the human race its us
Guys who smell good are my favorite because it happens so rarely. If I like the way a guy smells my attraction to him increases about a million percent. Axe definitely does not count, though.