The tables are turning at GuySpeak! The guys have their own questions for girls this week, asking why we're so competitive with each other, why we shoot down guys we like, why we go back to guys who blow us off, why we FB stalk our crushes and why we think shy is sexy. Ladies, take cover, it's time for GuySpeak's Best of the Week!
Women aren't the only ones with questions about the opposite sex. We men don't have it figured out, either. Several of you have asked me what questions men might have about women. So I spent a little time talking to my guy friends and now I'm asking the questions here.
Why are you so competitive with each other? Guys don't care who has cooler shoes, better hair color or a more expensive bag. We don't know the difference between Kate Spade and Louis Vuitton, and we don't want to. We're more likely to notice a woman who's perpetually snarky about other women than any of the things you think matter to us.
Why do you obsess over pubic hair? I realize the media makes a big deal over what you do down there, but honestly, most guys don't care about it nearly as much as you do. Sure, we all have our preferences, but it's not a deal-breaker if your trim style doesn't match what we like. Wear it how you want to wear it; we're not there for the hairstyle.
Why don't you believe men when they show you or even tell you they aren't interested? He called you for two weeks, you had sex, now he's MIA. It's not rocket science.
Gal Pal says: Read the rest of Cary's wise and witty list at the link above. Here's one question I have for my fellow ladies: Why do we think about guys so much anyway? I know I'm the pot dialing the kettle on this, but could we all agree to take a breather from our laser man focus once in awhile? Maybe go no-guy-zone on the third Thursday of every month? Take a nap instead? I just say...
I've caused an EPIC FAIL. Dating a guy 5 weeks. We went out Sunday, and he said let's have dinner on Tuesday. I didn't hear from him by Tuesday at noon, so I called. And texted. And emailed. Several times. No reply. I'm really NOT needy, but like him. What do I do to get him back?
Why do you want him back? He made plans, and then completely blew you off without even a call or text. Sending him a bunch of texts and emails to find out what is going on is not unreasonable. You just saw him a couple days before and then he vanished. What if something happened to him? Or, more importantly, what about some common f-ing courtesy, douchebag? Sounds like he's the one who committed an epic fail.
After five weeks of dating, you should at least warrant a text canceling plans. It's not like this was going to be your second date and he blew you off. I would call or email him once more and say that you were hurt by the way he blew you off. Let him know that if he wants to keep seeing you, he needs to be more considerate and give you a heads up in the future if he's going to cancel. If he responds and is apologetic, then decide if he deserves another chance. But if he doesn't get back to you, that is definitely a sign that you aren't all that important to him. Why do you want to be with someone who can't be bothered to text "Can't meet 2nite. Reschedule?"
In the end, the fact that he blew you off is probably a good thing. You're better off calling it quits before you waste even more time.
Gal Pal says:
When he does text you back, it'll be with some semi-legit excuse. And you'll believe it because you really like him. And then he'll blow you off next Tuesday. Calling with a pretty plausible reason for bailing. And you'll bite. And the ponies on the carrousel of deception will go round and round until you're dizzy and woozy and completely lose sight of yourself. Stop the ride now. Trust me, you want to get off.
Should you ever post your location on your Facebook status in hopes that your crush will bump into you? The guy I like is barely on FB anyway, but I haven't seen him in weeks, so I'm grasping at straws.
Girl's BFF says:
This is actually a pretty terrible idea. You said it yourself that he's rarely on Facebook anyway, so you'd just be posting your location so that every other yahoo out there would know where you were...which could result in your home being invaded. We've all seen the stories.
I realize that you're grasping at straws here, but coercion and manipulation to get some attention should kind of make you realize that, perhaps, it's just not meant to be. I'm not trying to be the dream murderer or anything, but when you're hoping that by putting all your business out there somebody will bump into you, it might be time to go back to the drawing board.
Or maybe try to find out where he is so that you can bump into him. Clearly you're willing to resort to anything here so you might as well stalk him a little.
[Editor's note: Panama Jackson nor Guyspeak.com condone or encourage stalking in that creepy way.]
Gal Pal says:
Stalking is like eating a whole bag of Halloween candy in one sitting. You know it's wrong, but it tastes delicious for a few sickly sweet minutes. In the end, you're left with an ache in your belly, wearing an enormous mask of shame. Does your crush have access to a telecommunications device you might try using? Asking him out directly is far more satisfying and far less tummy-ache-inducing than those straws you're munching on.
I was at a party and the guy that I like was hugging me and telling me how much he loves me and wants to make out with me. I didn't know if it was a joke or not so I said no, trying not to make a fool out of myself. He won't talk to me now.
Reformed Player says:
You shot him down. He was a beautiful eagle of love, and you unloaded an entire clip of bullets at him with your machine gun of rejection. He soared, burst into flames, and crashed into a mountain. Why would he talk to you?
Okay, so, it was a party. The two of you were probably drrrrrrrrnk. There's music playing and people laughing. Misunderstandings happen. But, look, even tipsy, I never throw myself at a chick just to make a fool out of her. You know who wastes valuable time trying to make fun of a woman at a party? Jocks in the movies. This dude was throwing himself at you. You didn't have to respond to his sloppy overtures with the same intensity. But you could have giggled and flirted back and hell, is he too gross to kiss? Is he one of those lipless guys who's all teeth and no gums? Did his breath smell like sardines left out in the summer sun? Would it have killed you to be young and reckless with your mouth?
He's not talking to you. His ego is wounded. If you're interested in this guy, then try to win him back a little. Nothing huge. Reboot the entire episode. Smile at him. Ask how he's doing. He probably doesn't trust you now, and why would you? You'd feel the same way if you turned on the charm and then fell on your face. If you just want him as a friend, then, like, time heals all wounds. Which isn't really true. But maybe he'll forget that time at that party he was all up in your shizz and you weren't having it.
Gal Pal says:
Why you gotta shoot down the eagle? They're endangered! Still, I think you might just be able to nurse him back to soaring health. The only way you can do it is by confessing your feelings for him and your "confusion" during the party. Beg him to give you another chance. And please, for the love of national emblems, put down the machine gun of rejection.
Mystery Man says:
Extreme shyness can be positive and negative. It's usually not a turn off unless the way the girl expresses shyness is by acting aloof. Aloofness is usually really lame and guys don't tend to stick around too long trying to succeed when the girl has her nose stuck up in the air, or at least, seems to have her nose up in the air.
The real problem with shy girls is not the courting process, because most guys do the majority of talking during this period anyway--the roles usually reverse once the relationship kicks in. But, there is nothing worse than a guy who has a girlfriend who won't talk to anybody. Then you find yourself always defending her because the world thinks she's mean.
Ultimately, you are probably better off coming out of your shell. Give it a try!
Gal Pal says:
I was going to give you a little girl advice, but I'm feeling sort of shy. (See? Shyness comes across as bitchiness!) Express yourself in whatever way works for you - smiling quietly, writing notes. But don't you dare hide your love under the shy blanket. Thanks for playing, guys and girls!