Many guys and gals seem to have a look they go for time and time again. I for one am a sucker for tan, shortish brunettes. I have friends who only fall for tall blondes, super skinny, thick etc. But our lusts aren't always so narrow-minded. Variety is the spice of life, and girls. It's more than reasonable for one man to fantasize about Posh, Ginger, Baby, Scary and Sporty over the course of a music video, let alone a few years.

 

What's more, maybe you and I are looking at this wrong. Maybe he has a personality type that dominates his choices, and while on the outside you and the ex look like a zebra and a microwave, on the inside there is a similar vibe and personality overlap.

 

I wouldn't be too stressed out about it; I think it's far worse to scroll through a guys dating life and discover that you are the 5th looka-like in a row he's dated. There's something much more upsetting about thinking you look damn near identical to his ex and his double ex, triple ex, ex-cetera. Leave the clones to Luke Skywalker, you're dating an open minded Jedi.

As reader Justyne points out in the comments, "She's an EX for a reason." Sounds to me like your boyfriend's evolving - and so is his taste in women. And Amit is right. I once learned TMI about my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. She looked EXACTLY like me - hair, height, clothing, "My Little Pony" preference, ice cream flavor, everything. Creepy town! Much better to enjoy a fellow who enjoys all 31 flavors. 

You're boyfriend is being smart. You are not. You've already stated that you're not on birth control. What do you want to get pregnant?? Hell, even if you were taking birth control he'd be smart to still use condoms. Forgive him for not wanting to sign up for a chance at fatherhood before he's ready.

Here's my question, why are you okay without using them? Especially without any birth control being used? What gives for you? There is absolutely nothing wrong with your boyfriend's mentality. Though I do question why he's continuing to have sex with you knowing that you might not mind being pregnant right now. Maybe it's a mentality thing because I don't view abortion as a form of birth control. Maybe you do. Maybe you don't. I don't know and I don't want to put words in your mouth.

You're asking him to take a big risk he's not willing to take. Smart man. Very smart man. Bottom line, nothing gives. He doesn't want to be a daddy right now. So he's doing one thing to hopefully ensure that he won't.

Someone sign this woman up for a sex ed class ASAP! Make her change an infant's diapers all week. Plug her iPod into the soundtrack of a shrieking baby. Anything to scare some sense into her. Hats off to the guy for keeping his hat on, so to speak. And my dear girl, please get over your condom issues - the condom is your BFF.

Look, you know my opinion on cheating. It is cowardly, pathetic and simply wrong. So stop it right now. Drop one or the other. Really, really not happy with you here.

Confess to the boyfriend you say you don't want to lose and he'll be out of there so damned fast you'll think he is in bullet time. Sure, confession may be good for the soul, but it is really crap for keeping a relationship going, especially if you tell him what you told me. The last thing any guy wants to hear is "You are so bad in bed that I had to contract my sexual satisfaction out." Now, when you say he doesn't do it for you, is he physically incapable? Or just clumsy and inept? If it is the former, you are going to have to think long and hard (sorry) about the relationship. If it is the latter - well, you know what works for you, thanks to Mr. Second String, so teach your boyfriend what works for you! 

It requires honesty with him, which I know is your weak point, but will eventually work.

Leave the boyfriend. You don't deserve him. And I'd like to thank commenter "H" for sharing her painful ordeal losing a husband to cancer. It never once occurred to her to cheat on him while he was going through chemo and unable to have sex. That story is a good reminder as to what relationships are really about - loving someone before yourself, in good times and in bad. If you can't be committed to someone early on, you've got no hope for the rough points certain to come in the future. Let your BF go now and let him find happiness with someone more worthy.

There are two kinds of spanking: the one where he slaps you occasionally on the butt during foreplay or sex, and the kind where he breaks out implements. The latter is a fetish, and you're going to have to have a discussion with him about what he wants sexually.

The former, though, is, yet again, a bad habit picked up by porn. He may well enjoy it: it gives him a little naughty thrill. But if you don't like it, you need to tell him to keep his hands where they belong: groping you and not slapping your hinder.

Hey, at least he's not trying to give you a backdoor surprise.

Hey, watch what you're calling a bad habit! There's nothing wrong with a little backside high-five. If she doesn't like it, she can speak up and he should keep his hands where she can see them. But why not try a little light spanking and see if she likes it? No harm, no foul, but lots of fun.

Try not to worry. For one, he's probably thinking the exact same thing. Blind dates are so quaint! These days with online dating, you basically know everything about the person before the date. This is like the pre-Internet dating no-man's land, when women used to answer ads in the personal column in the newspaper looking for a "SWF" (single white female, for the youngsters). You could be meeting your soulmate! Or just some guy you'll have dinner with once and never see again. But the mystery is exciting! What if it's Mystery Man?? (It won't be Mystery Man.) 

There's no guarantee you'll hit it off, but you won't know unless you give it a try.Why not have your friend text you 15 minutes into the date to see how it's going? If you're not feeling it, you can say your friend is having an emergency and needs you and bail. But if you like him, then quickly text her back and let her know you don't need an intervention.

Look at it as an opportunity to meet someone new. The more you put yourself out there-- be it online dating, going to parties, and, yes, even blind dates-- the more likely you are to meet someone. And, again, at worst, it's one date. Just remember that he's as nervous as you are, and have fun. Go in with an open mind and hopefully you'll be pleasantly surprised.

OMG, how awesome would it be if her date was Mystery Man? That's completely impossible, but my heart sang at the thought. The great thing about blind dates is that you've got nothing to lose. And if it sucks, please tell us every torrid detail in the comments. We'll all send you a virtual hug. See, it's win-win! 

Is this a trick question?

What should you do? Nothing. Leave him alone; he has a girlfriend. If you pet someone else's dog in the park and it wags its tail, does that mean you get to take it home?

Leave him alone. He is another girl's boyfriend. Find your own guy or wait until they break up (though you could be waiting a while).

Thanks for the (trick) question.

If he really, really, cross-his-heart-hope-to-die likes you, he will lose the girlfriend. Until then, you should lose yourself in someone else. Keep on moving, lady, show's over, nothing to see here.

That's it for this week, thanks for playing guys and girls!