"Is your dad a baker? Because those buns are out of this world!" Ahhh, nothing like a crazy bad pickup line to get your weekend started. I asked the guys for the worst pickup lines they've ever heard. And just for kicks, I asked what line would work best on them...
Wise-Ass says:
Worst pickup line? I was kinda drunk at a pool party once and met a girl with the greenest eyes I'd ever seen. "Wow," I said, then started singing the cheesy old 70s song, "Green-Eyed Lady," to her like a bad lounge singer, hoping she'd laugh. She turned around and walked away without a word.
What line works on you? Any pickup line works on me. I'm a dirty whore (or used to be, anyway).
Worst pickup line? Overheard at a drunken game of Dungeons and Dragons: "Are you a bag of holding? Because I have the sudden urge to fill you infinitely." I don't know whether to retch because of the graphic mental imagery or the nerd factor.
What line works on you? "Yes, but have you ever watched Peep Show high? It's like they're talking TO YOU."
Worst pickup line? Pickup lines don't work. Everybody knows that. They just give a person fake confidence. Honestly, I find people who use them to be boring. The best possible pick-up line is eye contact and a genuine "Hey." Also, pickup lines aren't the same thing as conversation starters. A pickup line is a one way communication crutch.
What line works on you? "Oh John DeVore, you're so Thor."
Girl's BFF says:
Worst pickup line? Some random cat finagled his way into my group of friends while we were sitting on our college stroll during my freshman year. The girls were saying that men only want one thing, and this chap -who nobody knew - says, "I'm just looking for one thing: friendship." After we all fell out laughing and moved our conversation five feet to the left, he got the message. Never heard from him again, though I'm pretty sure he's running for Governor of Alaska now.
What line works on you? Since I so rarely get hit on, I'm pretty much open to any pickup line that doesn't refer to me as "that guy from that show." It's a long story. Trust me.
Gal Pal says:
Worst pickup line? Last week a man with his shirt unbuttoned, smelling of Kirkland-brand Vodka, entered my elevator.
Man With Shirt Unbuttoned: You married?
Carrie: No.
Man With Shirt Unbuttoned: Why haven't I done something about that?
What line works on you? See above.
Chic Geek says:
Worst pickup line? A friend of mine once got the following at a bar:
Guy: How do you feel about cats?
Her: I like cats.
Guy: How do you feel about a guy who lives with roommates and cats?
Her: That's cool, I guess.
Guy: What if those roommates are his parents?
Her: Oh, I see my friend. Gotta run.
The guy was trying to be funny and self-deprecating, but it just came off as creepy.
What line works on you? "Are you GuySpeak's Chic Geek? I love that site! Let's watch some Freaks and Geeks DVDs and make out!"
OK, guys and girls, what's the worst pickup line you've ever heard? Has a pickup line ever worked on you?
In reference to one of my tattoos placed in a rather...ill located...location of my body:
him: "so, six stars huh? Is that what it is on a scale of 1 to 5?"
me: "no dumb ass, its in the shape of a rainbow and the colors of one as well, its a symbol of my gay pride, which means you dont stand a chance in hell"
him: "so i don't have a shot at your six star p*ssy?" *makes sad puppy dog face
me: *rolls eyes and walks off
"Is that a scale of 1 to 5?" smooooth!
"If you were a laser gun, you'd be set on stunning!"
...sad to say, but it worked. Probably cause I like the nerds, and well, any reference to laser guns gets my heart! :P
that totally would have worked on me. Zap.
I was at a party and spilled some wine on myself
guy: can i lick that off?
me: um its on the ground too, will you lick it off the ground?
he keeps staring at me will a hopeful look on his face and I realise he is serious about licking me.
Later that night, same guy
me: I'm a tough cookie
guy: I like cookie
and then he keeps staring at me again really intensely until i get uncomfortable and walk away.
Do you come here often ......or is the floor always this wet?
I laughed in his face!!!!!
grody!!
Him: "Will you go out with me?"
Me: "Aren't you married?"
Him: "She doesn't have to know!"
What a stupidhead!
As I was ordering a drink at the bar, someone tapped me on the shoulder, I turned around and had to look down a bit - I am 5'11'' and this dude was probably 5'4'' - and he says "So, I have always had this fantasy of being with a tall girl". That's funny, I have always had this fantasy of kicking a short dude in the balls. What a charmer.
Beautiful.
"I live with my parents and still watch cartoons. I work at McDonald's and I haven't had a girlfriend in 3 years. I like you."
---Sad, but true. This is the pick-up line that got me with my man of almost 2 years. It helps that I was sort-of friends with him before he asked me out.
As I tell everyone who asks...."At least he was honest with me."
Hey, dream big, right?
A guy once said to me, "My compliments to your mother for having such a beautiful daughter."
The line didn't work on me though, because I thought he was talking about my sister. I always thought she was the pretty one in the family. It puzzled me because I couldn't figure out how he knew my sister. She lived in another town quite a distance away at the time. I was totally clueless. My roommate explained it to me later. HA!
The "Green-eyed Lady" song probably would have worked on me though. :-)
Hilarious that you didn't get he was talking about YOU! I hope you did a self-esteem check immediately :)
I was at a bar with my friend, and this guys walks up, takes my hand & says "So, my wife says I should go out and get a f*@%k buddy." I laughed so hard I cried!
Yesterday, I was just finishing work and went to get something to drink at Tim Hortons and I'm standing in line behind this 60-something year old man wearing a jersey, short shorts and roller skates (the 4 wheel old school kinds?). He kept turning around and looking at me so I kept trying to avoid his stares or start texting or something, just to avoid him.
I KNEW he was going to say something so a couple seconds later, he taps me on the shoulder and says
"Excuse me... oh my god, did you just get off a movie set? You're gorgeous you Hollywood star!"
I didn't even know what to say so I kinda laughed and said thanks.... It was one of the THE worst lines I've ever gotten!
"You turn my software into hardware."