It can be difficult for a man to say those three words that mean so much to a woman, especially on Valentine's Day. In the past, I've done everything from mumbling those three words like my mouth was full of hardboiled eggs, to whispering it so quietly, mice were smitten. I've also blurted it out when I didn't mean it.
Those words are dangerous. And powerful. Simultaneously intoxicating and sobering. They are full of responsibility, promise, and stars. Forgive men for taking them seriously. Because, for the most part, we do. Telling a woman "I Love You" can warp the space and time continuum. That's some major cosmic shit right there.
I remember the first time I said it. She was my first great love. We were sitting with our legs crossed on my dorm bed, and we were facing each other. I looked her in the eyes and told her I thought I was in love with her. I asked her if she felt the same way. She said yes. My ears swelled with rushing blood. We giggled. And the kiss was better than our first. We were like two neutrons flung at each other inside a particle accelerator. It was a collision. There was an explosion. Then a lingering cloud of glittering, subatomic debris.
But before I got to that point where I was able to bravely announce what my boiling emotions demanded, there were multiple other ways that I told her how I felt. And that's true for a lot of men. Whether we're falling for you, or have already fallen, we sometimes try to find other ways to tell you "I Love You" that aren't quite so direct.
Here are twenty-five suggestions for alternatives to the "L" word. If your man says any of these, just accept that he's dropped the L-O-V-E bomb.
1. You are the syrup on my waffles.
2. Um. So. Yeah. 100%.
3. I don't care if I have to wield a pitchfork with one hand, and a roaring chainsaw with the other, no zombies will ever eat your brains. Not while I live.
4, My pillows smell so much better when you've slept on them.
5, I read every single one of your tweets.
6, I wish you were key chain size. I'd put you in my pocket and take you everywhere.
7, Even if you forget who I am when we're old and fat, I'll still come to visit you and read you stuff, just like in that stupid movie that always makes you cry.
8, If you want to be with another guy, that's totally cool. I'll just spend the rest of my life sitting on a bar stool, nursing a beer and hoping the glow of the jukebox playing our song over and over masks my red, swollen eyes.
9. From the moment I met you, I've wanted to see you naked, and that hasn't changed. Never will.
10. I have brought you meat, the roses of the caveman! Now, I will make FIRE!
11. My penis, heart, and brain are all in unanimous agreement about you.
12. I had this dream the other night. I was stumbling through a forest at night. It was dark and I couldn't see where I was going, and in the distance I could hear wolves howling. Then the cloud cleared, and the moon illuminated a path to a village. Only it wasn't a moon. It was your beautiful face, glowing silver against the night sky. What the hell do you think THAT means?
13. I am a grown ass man, but I have to be honest: you're my personal night light.
14. G'head. Take the last beer.
15. Here's a baseball bat. Just hide it under your bed while I'm away on business.
16. As a Vulcan, I recognize the significance of a quickened heartbeat, sweaty palms, and heightened activity in my brain's pleasure centers when you are around. However, I do not fully comprehend why I feel compelled to insert my tongue inside of your mouth. I find it... fascinating.
17. I am perfectly happy co-depending on you.
18. When I was a kid, there was this amusement park that had a ride that would spin you around really fast. It was so much fun. I'd ride that thing all day, and every time I'd get off it, I'd be laughing, but thinking I was going to puke. All day long: laughing while on the verge of vomiting. That's how I feel right now.
19. Your face tastes like cake and dynamite. Dynacake!
20. I have a lifetime subscription to You Magazine, the magazine about you, for me. By the way, you look stunning on the cover, just like every month.
21.You had me at "Who are you?"
22. I wrote you this poem: "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art so hot."
23. This chubby's for you.
24. I want to be your personal airbag.
25. I know.
I love this!!
I love this!!!
What about "You feel like grape juice in my cheeks but for my whole body"?
....melt...
Frankly, I was becoming more and more disheartened as I was going down the list until I reached #25. You see, that is the one with which I am currently familiar. Phew - glad to see it up there! He actually did blurt it out once (accidentally) very early in our friendship in response to one of my incredibly witty comments. (In hindsight, I do believe he almost fell off his laddder as a result when the realization of what exactly had flown past his lips had hit him, but I digress and that's a story for another day.)
I guess the man is just careful with his words now and quite conscious of the possibility of space/time continuum "warpage". Das kool.
;-)
17 made me smile really big ... is that a problem??
16. i would use that one. if he understands, its my soulmate. haha
My boyfriend would be all over #3.
11. My penis, heart, and brain are all in unanimous agreement about you.
ni-i-i-ice
When I first got married to my husband we moved far away from my family and most of my friends for school, and for some reason (stress from the move, most likely) I kept having these horrible nightmares about zombie attacks. Every. Single. Night. I would wake up just terrified, and still thinking of how I would escape and leave my husband for dead if zombies suddenly burst through the door or the window.
I remember telling him about the dreams, and I knew he loved me when he said he wouldn't let anyone eat my brains. So I'm glad #3's up there for people like us!
I like #10, and will use it at my earliest convenience.
What a lovely day for a 3802066! SCK was here
What a lovely day for a 3894330! SCK was here
What a lovely day for a 524021! SCK was here
What a lovely day for a 624572! SCK was here
My girlfriend would love number 5 :D
Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is great blog. An excellent read. I'll certainly be back.
Fella, carry on this great work: I have in no way found a website as great as your own. Having said that, I've a bug with my browser: when I load your Site, from time to time, everything gets screwed-up. Typically, the bug vanishes when I refresh the page. Precisely what is the issue?
An impressive share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing a little analysis on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast because I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If possible, as you become expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more details? It is highly helpful for me. Big thumb up for this blog post!
I'm still learning from you, while I'm trying to reach my goals. I absolutely liked reading everything that is posted on your blog.Keep the stories coming. I liked it!
Keep working ,fantastic job!
Great blog! I am loving it!!
What a lovely day for a 2486597! SCK was here
I was very pleased to find this web-site.I wanted to thanks for your time for this wonderful read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you blog post.
It’s hard to find knowledgeable people on this topic, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks
thnx for the post...
Okay article. I just became aware of your blog and desired to say I have really enjoyed reading your opinions. Any way I’ll be subscribing in your feed and Lets hope you post again soon.
Okay article. I just became aware of your blog and desired to say I have really enjoyed reading your opinions. Any way I’ll be subscribing in your feed and Lets hope you post again soon.
hey! that was gud reading the post..:)
I have to say that for the past couple of hours i have been hooked by the impressive articles on this site. Keep up the wonderful work.
What a lovely day for a 4165888! SCK was here
The post is written in very a good manner and it entails many useful information for me. I am happy to find your distinguished way of writing the post. Now you make it easy for me to understand and implement the concept.
The post is written in very a good manner and it entails many useful information for me. I am happy to find your distinguished way of writing the post. Now you make it easy for me to understand and implement the concept.
What a lovely day for a 2768472! SCK was here