In case you didn't get the memo, boobs are awesome. So awesome, in fact, that there are hundreds, maybe even thousands, of different names for them, probably more than any other body part. Now I'm going to tell you my favorites of those names, one, because I can, and two, because I worked late on Guyspeak's live Emmys chat last night and my brain doesn't feel like writing a heavy post.
For me, the best names for breasts are ones that are fun to say (even if they make no sense), that evoke sexy or amusing imagery, or that are food-related, because I like food. Ones like these:
jubblies
golden bozos
melons
yabos
the twins
the girls
Thelma & Louise
funbags
sweater puppies
umlauts
McGuffins
dirty pillows
badoinkies
love jugs
chimichangas
coconuts
squachies
fog lights
gazongas
bodacious ta-tas
The worst expressions for boobs are ones that sound like they came from an anatomy textbook, Jane's Tank and Artillery Recognition Guide or Penthouse Forum. Don't use these if you ever want to get laid:
sweater meat
fried eggs
lactoids
milk wagon
dueling banjos (please don't make me think of Ned Beatty getting sodomized when referring to boobs, thanks)
lungs
Thing 1 and Thing 2 (Dr. Seuss + boobs = not good)
Lilo & Stitch (Disney + boobs = even worse)
glands
dingoes
skin sacks
knockers
mammaries
tits/titties
warheads
missiles
howitzers
rib cushions
chihuahuas
honkers
hooters
Those are mine; now let's hear yours (favorites and least favorites). C'mon, don't be shy now.
For me, the best names for breasts are ones that are fun to say (even if they make no sense), that evoke sexy or amusing imagery, or that are food-related, because I like food. Ones like these:
jubblies
golden bozos
melons
yabos
the twins
the girls
Thelma & Louise
funbags
sweater puppies
umlauts
McGuffins
dirty pillows
badoinkies
love jugs
chimichangas
coconuts
squachies
fog lights
gazongas
bodacious ta-tas
The worst expressions for boobs are ones that sound like they came from an anatomy textbook, Jane's Tank and Artillery Recognition Guide or Penthouse Forum. Don't use these if you ever want to get laid:
sweater meat
fried eggs
lactoids
milk wagon
dueling banjos (please don't make me think of Ned Beatty getting sodomized when referring to boobs, thanks)
lungs
Thing 1 and Thing 2 (Dr. Seuss + boobs = not good)
Lilo & Stitch (Disney + boobs = even worse)
glands
dingoes
skin sacks
knockers
mammaries
tits/titties
warheads
missiles
howitzers
rib cushions
chihuahuas
honkers
hooters
Those are mine; now let's hear yours (favorites and least favorites). C'mon, don't be shy now.
I usually say "the girls," so I guess that would be my favorite.
I hate "jugs." You say the word "jugs" and I picture a cartoon hillbilly pulling a corncob out of one of those tan and brown moonshine jugs and taking a swig from it--not a very sexy, romantic, or feminine image. I hate all the artillery ones too for the same reason.
Fun post! :-)
Yeah I like boobs...
Mine are The Ladies. Because I'm classy like that lol.
my boyfriend calls them "boobies" sometimes and I have to tell him not to cause he sounds like a 13 yr old who's never seen any before. I like them to ne referred to as "breasts" or at the very least "boobs". just not "boobies".
Sexy & Foxy...
haha umlauts? Never had a name for mine as being small the don't really take on their own personality as such. Haven't heard of that one but I like it cause it suits mine... barely there but makes a difference. Too bad most people wouldn't know what an umlaut is though, well not the people I know.
The girls, boobs and breasts are fine.
Anything else makes me cringe and shoot you a withering stare.
An old woman I knew called them her hanging baskets.
Hahaha! I've always called mine Thelma and Louise! And, like Thelma and Louise, gravity is doing them in as well! :)
I call them naughty pillows, the girls, or sweater Pandas or when my back hurts "F'ing water melons!". my best guy friend called them my "epic boobage" for a while. that stuck a bit.
Ahhh thank you for including mammaries. I always feel like a dairy cow when my boyfriend calls them that. I hate tits too, but have given up. I can't imagine someone saying "titties" without a heavy hillbilly accent.
Wow how did you come up with those things? Maybe it's my lack of imagination, but how do you get from lungs and fried eggs to breasts?
Anyways, I like breasts just fine.
Ewww Wise Ass, dirty pillows should be on the not-getting-laid list as well.
I will never forget the heinousness of Carrie's mother torturing her. I've seen so many scary movies but that one is the stuff nightmares are made from.
Lol just saying my pillows are not dirty thank you. But pillows, the girls, and boobs are ok. The rest would just make me roll my eyes.