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A Brief Guide to Flirting

Back in the dim and perfect past, when women only left the kitchen to go to church, flirting was easy. A demure glance, a quick flash of ankle, and you were surrounded by randy men offering marriage or at least willing to risk Daddy's shotgun for a taste of what you got.

Sadly, now, it isn't that easy. One of the most frequent questions I get is "How do I flirt successfully?" The honest answer is: "I don't know." What style are you?

Oh, I can tell you how to flirt with me successfully, but every guy is different. Some guys are great at picking up subtle cues, some need a hit with a two by four upside the head to even notice you are standing there with your top open and "Take Me Now!" written on your boobs. Still, there are certain things all the guys I know have in common. May they forgive me for my sin in spilling their secrets here ...

Guys are Visual

It is a hackneyed old cliche this, but is also true. Like a T Rex, guys respond to movement. If you don' move, he can't see you. You don't have to do the von Teese strut, but a little interesting motion goes a long way. This is one of the main reasons heels are still popular, they enhance your wiggle as you walk, turning your butt into an eye magnet for every guy in the area.
When you get talking, don't just sit there like a lump. Move your legs once in a while. Even with panties on, recrossing your legs can be devastating. If standing, rock slightly fro leg to leg to tense and relax your thighs alternately. Not too fast, though, or he'll think you need to go powder your nose.
Do the boob thrust once in a while, by slightly arching your back as you inhale. Reach across your body to pick up your drink, and watch his eyes immediately dive chestward as your cleavage gets enhanced.
And need I tell you to dress nicely? Not too revealing, as the packaging is as important as the contents, but emphasize your good points. So far, so shallow.

Guys notice Smell.

Beleive it or not, smell is hugely important to guys, on such a deep level that they are hardly aware of it. So go steady on the perfume, not too much please! We hate that and try to escape. Try to pick one that enhances your natural scent, not covers it.

Guys like Attention.

Now you have got his attention, you need to keep it. Smile at him often, gently encourage him to talk and show you are listening by looking at him. Sadly for 50 years of feminism, the looking up through your eyelashes technique is still best for this. Yes, it is a submissive gesture, I know, and if you don't like it, don't do it. Just don't expect to keep his attention easily. To most guys, too much direct eye contact is a direct challenge and they get first uncomfortable, then turned off.
His eyes are going to wander from time to time. Expect that, and, after a few seconds bring his attention back to you with a body shift, or a light touch on the arm, or a comment, or question. Questions work surprisingly well, men being rather vain of their prowess and loving explaining things.

Guys are frequently pretty shy.

This one is seemingly counterintuitive, at first. You need to look at the situation of your prey. If he is on his own, fine. Attract his attention and he'll usually either come over to you, or indicate that he is interested in you coming over to him. No problem either way.
If he is in a group of friends, though, you'll wait til Doomsday for the one you find interesting to come on over. It's is usually the loud, obnoxious prat of the group that will come over and come on to you as blatantly as possible. The one that either doesn't fear, or actually revels in, failing in front of his friends. Every group has one, it is like a natural law.
Go active. Once you have his attention, go and start talking to him, ignoring his friends as much as possible. Once they get the idea of who you are interested in, the bro code says they have to give him a clear shot, letting you gently cut him out of the herd and lead him somewhere more private. There is no guy on Earth that doesn't find a gal coming on to him flattering - even if she makes the first move.

Guys like to Lead.

So far, if you have followed this guide, you have him pretty much eating out of your hand, with you controlling the pace. Don't let him notice that you are the one in control! You know that old and very annoying saying, "Men control the world?" The guy you are flirting with is really unlikely to be one of those men, and feels the lack intensely.
Leave him his illusion of mastery of the flirting situaton. He'll be more relaxed and open.

There, that should have covered just about every sexist stereotype going. Sadly, stereotypes are there for a reason - they are too frequently true.

Good hunting.
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10 Comments

boop

I like this! I've never been very good at the flirting thing- it just seems so obvious and annoying. Well, in a girl's eyes, at least. Guys love attention and I've found that's my best way to flirt.

And as girls we need to own our powers of seduction! The "peering through the eyelashes" technique isn't anti-feminist -- it's completely the opposite! You'll have him eating out of the palm of your hand... who's in control now?

user-pic

I, for some reason, seem to intimidate ''manly men'', wich is sad seeing as they are what I generally prefer. So this guide is helpful to me, thank you.

However, being a straightforward, confident woman... Well, I wondered if there was anything more specific I should be aware of?

Mystery Man

Been thinking how to answer this, and it applies pretty much to your case only. You have an initial perception problem.
You like confident, straightforward, manly men. You are a confident, straightforward woman. If you come on like that up front, you get respect from them, but you are not sending the right signals to attract them in the first place. You are acting like one of the guys, not a potential date.
Tone the straightforward down a touch and go a little girly (Man, I HATE that word) for just long enough that they notice you as a woman first. Then be your normal blunt self.
Manly guys like blunt women, in the main.

user-pic

Ah I see, thank you very much for taking the time. I suppose I shall try this next weekend :)

Mystery Man

Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

user-pic

As another straight-forward, confident woman who is often seen as "one of the guys", I can tell you, this trick works wonders- even as a total tomboy. If you get just a little bit of that "demure, sensual woman" in before laughing raucously with them about their friend's raunchy joke, it makes guys see you in a whole different light.
Don't forget to turn on the feminine charm every now and again once you're with a guy, too, just to remind him ;)

silkysly

Guys told me they love it when I smile with my eyes, while tilting my head a little with a body shift. I didn’t even know I was doing it. MM is right about the touch thing...,, guys go crazy when you touch their arm or even their leg. Wowza!

user-pic

I never seem to be able to catch my guy alone; he's always surrounded by a massive group of friends! I mean, yeah, I may be able to smile at him once in a while or chat for about 20 seconds before he's being flocked by his friends, throwing one of those 'sorry' smiles at me and being dragged away! How do I flirt with him in front of 10 other people without being obnoxious about it?

user-pic

LOL. It made me laugh. Nice post.Try the site that i am promoting it'll help you. :)

user-pic

so that's how it is.

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