Not only do I not care if my woman has a B.O.B. (battery operated boyfriend), I assume she has a few from jump. Now, despite travels that rival Gullivers, I can honestly say that I've never had a chick pull out a B.O.B. and use it in front of me, so I have no clue if that would charge me up or bore me to death. I do know that self-pleasuring chick-pr0n never does anything for me. But perhaps a real life simulation could change my mind. Either way, the point is, power away ladies. Do your worst...I'll be watching the game.

Until a vibrator can perform a panty-droppingly awesome karaoke version of Bon Jovi's "I'll Be There For You," I won't consider sex toys competition.

What's that? Japan invented a karaoke sex toy robot? Uh oh...

Intimidated by a vibrator? No. A 14" black dildo? Yes.

The best name I've ever heard for this, before we begin, is "the dilemma of the rubber boyfriend."

Am I intimidated by vibrators, personally?  Nah.  They're sex "toys", not sex "objects that offer profound emotional and psychological fulfillment", and if they are, that's really kind of sad.  I can see why some guys are uncomfortable just because they feel like they're letting down the side; I don't think any woman can claim with a straight face they'd be absolutely OK with their husband toting around one of those scary flashlight-looking things, even if he only used it when she wasn't around.  But that's an issue that can be resolved with an honest and open conversation.

One issue that's rarely discussed, though, and trust me, it's a part of your man's anxiety, is not so much "Am I fulfilling her sexually?" as "Ummmm, Cosmo didn't tell you to ram that thing up my butt, right?"  I have heard some class-A horror stories about dildos and vibrators being horribly misused by well-meaning but deeply misguided people of both genders and all sexualities.  So, in short, anybody finding a dildo intimidating when you spring it on them.  Especially if you spring it on them from behind.

Lest we forget the sad tale of John Henry (as brought to you by Wikipedia and Funny Guy).

In the legend, John Henry's prowess as a steel-driver (SEXUAL PARTNER) was measured in a race against a steam powered hammer (VIBRATOR), which he won only to die in victory with his hammer (PRICK) in his hand. 

The Lesson: Don't compete with your lady's steam powered hammer. You'll die -- emotionally and/or physically.