Men are not exclusively binary when it comes to lady parts. The stereotype is that we instantly drool over the fillings of bikini tops and bottoms. But the truth is, we love the whole package. It's like asking a fat kid whether he likes the cupcake frosting or the cake. Fat kid loves them both, in concert. Personally, I turn into a lustful zombie when I catch a woman with delicate fingers, or deep dimples.
Okay, it's mostly true that most men fall into two main categories: breasts or buttocks. Or to be more colloquial, men are either obsessed with a woman's ass or her boobs. It is a debate of near Socratic proportions, and many a can of beer has been cracked, consumed, and crushed while babbling about the supremacy of funbags over poop cutters.
But when it comes to the various parts of a woman, I'm a glutton. I love it all: hooters of all variety, apple bottoms of all volume. Fresh produce of every size. And that's not all. I've never understood why dudes are so militant about loving luscious orbs of glory over bouncy loaves of pants meat. It shouldn't be like a Catholic/Protestant or Jedi/Sith thing. I'll go on the record and state that I think most men are like me: we're happy with all of the physical components that make up a woman. We're especially happy when those physical components are amenable to our fingers, mouth, and various erotic probes.
Yes, men are shallow, but only initially. That we're "visual" is a famously dismissive canard - we are visual. But from an evolutionary standpoint, we're visual creatures because, you know, saber tooth tigers. Over millennia, our main way of avoiding getting eaten or trampled upon by wooly mammoths was by sight. Therefore, we developed a dependence on that particular sense, a stimuli that influences us to this day. No? How about Mother Nature, in all her unknowable grandeur, saw fit to make sure the human female was real purty?
But as for this fleshy divide between the honkers camp and the can clan, it is largely an intellectual exercise. I am both a boob and butt man. I am also a clavicle man. Those delicious bones that trace a line across a woman's chest? Holy Zeus. And shoulders? I think a woman showing off bare shoulders is hotter than one sporting cleavage. I love it when women with long tresses put their hair up, because a smooth, long, bitable neck is basically sex crack. Curvy hips that you can rest your hands on. Little ears perfect for nibbling. Or a mischievous smile that says things that can't be spoken in polite society. These are all parts of a woman that make my spine chatter like teeth. And while dudes are ruled by their eyes, we're even more influenced by touch. The peach fuzz that runs up the back of a woman's neck? Yes, please. The smoothness of a calf? Yes, more. Running your finger down her jaw line? Uh-huh.
Any man who would judge a woman based on one out of two criteria are rank amateurs who prefer two-dimensional images over flesh, blood, and warm, vodka-laced whispers in the back of cabs. Some guys talk about women the way they'd talk about cars they don't drive. From a distance, without the knowledge that a woman, sexually speaking, is many tiny miracles all working as one. Her peepers, bazookas, stems, and bubble bum are all gorgeous and amazing for their own reasons. Together, they're mind-blowing. So don't just assume, when we check you out in that way that we do when we think you think we're not looking but you know we are, that we're zeroing in on just a couple of quadrants. We're looking, and getting sweaty, about all of you. Especially that clavicle. Manohman.
JDV,
With this answer you have done more for my self esteem than $10,000 worth of self-help seminars...and I think you melted my knees to a soft puddle of caramel. (would honey-colored skin be on your list, I wonder?)
My idea of a perfect date would be to stand before a man and have him describe as you did here, the beauty of the individual parts that make up the sum that is me.
And then tell the fashion industry to kiss my bountiful, curvy ass...
JDV,
Thank you, from the bottom of my ample bubble booty, for this blog post.
Reading it made my knees melt into luscious puddles of caramel...(is honey-colored skin on your list, I wonder?)
My new dream date is to stand naked in front of a man while he describes in admirable detail, as you did here, the beauty of my parts that make up the sum that is me.
And then tell the fashion industry to kiss my curvy ass...
Azure! You're response is about as inspiring and esteem-boosting as DeVore's initial answer. I'm so confident in myself right now. YAY.
And DeVore, thank you for acknowledging that women are multifaceted creatures -- we're not just pieces of T&A. =P
Never before has an article on tits and ass been so damn poetic. Well played, DeVore.
Ya that gave me the warm and fuzzies. All over. For real.
Swoon-worthy?
Me too. My legs feels like jelly right now.
I love reading what you write about women. You sound like a gourmand of the fine female cuisine. Any man who believes even half of the things you do is welcome to admire my sweater melons et al.
Sweater melons! The absolute best way to describe breastses EVER! and yes. Devore blog about the female from... SWOON worthy. But honestly... what has he written recently that isn't!
Congratulations you just made a whole bunch of women fall in love with you! If every man could describe their women like that, there would be no divorces.
But one thing you didn't talk about was legs? Don't men like long legs?
Oh man, way too perfect of a response, seriously. I feel all nervous and flush haha. As for what I love in a man, physically, it has to be defined shoulder blades, sculpture-worthy hands, and a character face..something must stick out as unique or noteworthy.
We all need someone who appreciates every inch of our body with every inch of their body.
Wow, great answer. You're amazing, wished many guys thought like you. =)
DeVore,
You are a man-genius of epic proportions. I went on two dates this weekend and one told me his favorite part of a woman was "everything".
The other said he loves a woman's clavicle, as he softly traced mine with his strong, yet gentle hands...the other, a line down my neck with his lips. It was spine-tingling.
Before reading your post here, I would have thought they were saying this stuff just to get laid, but now I know. They mean what they're saying... even if they are saying it in order to get laid.
I never would have let myself fall in love with a man over the internet. Oh boy have I let myself go...
Indeed.
I have these really long and thin fingers that are so delicate and feminine. I have deep clavicals and boobs that would overflow in the biggest of mens hands. I am white but with the ass of a black woman and my legs go on for days.
I leave bodies in my wake.
Thanks for telling me how much you appreciate me.
TO ASS & CLAVICLES!! HERE,HERE!!!! *doin a lil dance*
My goodness. i think i may print this out and post it somewhere in my room. This boosted my self esteem TONS
:)
AND IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL READ!
As I read these responses I feel like you ladies look for men in all the wrong places. Men who think, act, and feel like him aren't rare. Maybe you just aren't giving them a chance.
I like this answer because I always ponder that question myself. I told my best friend I think butts are in now and he said "Boobs are always in" So i guess either way doesn't matter someone who really loves you won't care about those things
Wow... I absolutely loved reading this, you are a poet DeVore, and a champion for the self-esteem of women everywhere!
This is perfect and oh-so-beautiful.
I swear I melted in a puddle by the time I finished reading this.
see you next note