Mind you, I don't think that sex is the most necessary component of a healthy relationships. But sex is part of life for a vast majority of us who chose to pick somebody to mate with and spend our time and energy with. Sex is often the icing on the cake. Plus it's fun and if you want children, that's how you get them. Yay. But for everybody it isn't.
For instance, the NY Daily News recently ran a story about 50-year-old cervical cancer survivor Laura Brashier who created a dating site, www.2date4love.com, intended to attract individuals who cannot have sex for health or disability reasons or simply do not want sex.
Created by Laura Brashier, a 50-year-old cervical cancer survivor, 2date4love.com allows users to write details about themselves and look for others with similar interests.
The one thing they're looking for -- a partners who isn't looking for a physical relationship.
"2date4love is a dating site that enables people who cannot engage in sexual intercourse to meet and experience love, companionship and intimacy at its deepest level," the website reads.
You know, this makes sense for people who can't engage in sex, a condition that actually scares the crap out of me. Not that I couldn't find happiness and fulfilment without it - Lord knows I've gone long enough without some of that good-good and I'm still alive - but I can't picture a life where I'd willingingly do so. I love sex. It's fun and makes me happy. But I understand her point about it becoming an issue for dating so creating a site where that's effectively off the table from start is a good idea.
In an odd way, this reminds me of the site dedicated towards helping people with STDs date eachother. I can't remember the name of the site right now, but it was intended to be a site that allowed individuals with certain incurable STDs to find eachother and date, a veritable puching bag of a website but a good idea nonetheless.
Anyway, I'm just surprised that there are as many as 1,500 people (since August 1) who are looking for a sexless relationships. Unless of course a solid percentage of those individuals just can't. Further, I just don't see how that equates to a full relationship. It's just friendship...platonically. But I guess others see it differently.
For the record, anybody dating me...it's going down at some point. I don't even know what "I'm On One" means but we're going to be on one until we can't smang anymore. Believe that.
So, could you be in a relationship where you never had sex...ever? On purpose?
Yes I could be in a sexless relationship and be happy with the person. I guess it depends on the person and the situation. If I was engaged to someone and lets say they got into a car accident and wound up paralyzed from the waist down I wouldn't let that stop me from wanting to be with them. I would take all the componets into account how they treated me outside of the bedroom, if they made me laugh and if they were good to me by treating me with respect and like I was the only woman in the world for them. Also what happens when you're still with "the one" and you're both in your golden years, senior citizens and one or the other of you doesn't want sex or just cant "perform" I dont know many ppl who would toss out decades of romance just because of that one factor =)
I think the difference is timing. What your talking about is ALREADY being with someone who a. is suddenly unable to have sex and b. someone you grow old with and c. going out NOW and looking for someone who doesn't want / cant have sex...ever...again. Nope not for me, I'm 30 and healthy not 90, not ready to give in yet. I need me some smanging.
i haven't had sex with the guy i've been dating but it's still one of the best relationships i've ever had. has nothing to do with physical challenges, and everything to do with us getting to know each other first. whereas other guys before him were good at meeting like, that one need first, they didnt spend enough time or attention to the other needs in a relationship. this guy is the exact opposite, and like i said, one of the most intimate relationships i've ever had and i am still enjoying SO much romance that just makes me feel so girly and great. i am sure when we do make that commitment the sex will be even better than it would have been had we went at it like bunnies on the second or third date. yes you can be in a romantic relationship without sex, romance is about way more than sex. great sex with someone you care about to me is...just worth the wait.
I'm in a sexless relationship right now and very happy. Granted, it's because I want to wait until I'm married, so this isn't a "never ever have sex ever!" thing, it's just a reeaaallly long "not yet" thing. :P
Hmmm, very interesting that the commenters happy about sexless relationships are women...
what is interesting about it? we're part of a relationship that also involves a man who, in my case, is quite happy with things. takes a real man to acknowledge you dont need sex to be intimate.
Interesting, because the comments are not surprising - 3 out of the 5 females commenting stating they're quite happy not having sex with their man.
Interesting, because this is a commentary on our society, on so, so many levels.
If that is your definition of manhood, then I am not, nor will I ever be a real man.
you put those words in your mouth, not me. clap, clap, clap. so refreshing to see someone admit that.
Yep, as opposed to most men, who would eagerly say yes while secretly plotting how to change your mind...
That's not really unusual, seeing as most of the commenters on this site are women. Most of the blogs/answers have no comments from guys, no matter what the topic.
Not only would I be unable to be in a sexless relationship, I could never be in a relationship which didn't offer me the quantity and quality of sex I need.
I'm currently in a sexless/affectionless relationship and while there are many AMAZING parts of my relationship, it still is difficult. The 'no sex' is not my choice. He's incredible to me, treats me well with much respect and I know he loves me. But I do believe health issues have changed/taken away his desire for sex or affection. It's very difficult as women typically find assurance through affection. This posting was very timely as it is something I think about often to decide if this never changed, how I would deal with it. We have many great aspects of our relationship and he's an AMAZING man, but no physical contact/affection at all is a very difficult place to be.
I think it's an interesting idea. I too have a hard time when it comes to being intimate with another man. (Mainly because of something that happened when I was in my early 20's) I think I could be happy in sexless relationship.
I like your site!good!
Honestly speaking i like the site very much and is a nice idea to be brought up.sexless in relationship is possible but it needs convsertion to sout it out and an agreement between the opposite sex to hold it up
Good gravy... That would be torture for me. I mean, if it were a medical issue, then yeah... I could do it, but only because I am physically incapable of engaging in, as you call it, "smanging." Even then, I might go out of my way to find out SOME way to engage. ANY way.
The thing is, though, that this post doesn't seem to be about abstinence as some others appear to be assuming. It's more like celibacy. No sex. Ever. Ugh. No, thanks.
So at the end of the day, nope. Couldn't do it.