Hell Ghostface Killah from the WuTan Clan had a WHOLE song called "Back Like That" dealing with this. And he's scary.
I really don't understand this phenomenon. This could always go back to my theory that women are just better people, and thereby more forgiving, so upon finding out that their man cheated, the woman just may decide that he made a mistake (assuming he lets her know that he made a mistake) and take him back. Or at least give him a chance to right his wrongs (though if you think about it, if he gets caught once, he'll just make sure not to get caught a second time - in a day and age where even pastors are cheating on their wives it's almost a foregone conclusion that once a cheater, always a cheater).
I know quite a few women who have been cheated on and they took their men back afterwards. Whether or not this was a good idea is totally up for debate, but they did. On the other hand, I don't know a single dude who would stay with a woman who cheated on him.
Not one.
Myself included. And I have no idea why this is. What makes it even more strange is that even men that I KNOW have cheated on their girlfriends would be pissed to high hell if they found out their woman cheated on them. There's no second chances and no forgiveness. One and done.
Women, though never forgetting, just may give dude some time to re-prove his love. And many men (wish death upon me) will take that chance and attempt to get their stuff together.
Or at least not get caught again.
Now perhaps women just don't like finding a brand new man and having to go through the process of dating and getting to know somebody over and over again (which would explain the "boomerang cheeks" that are so popular amongst ex-lovers...why find new cheeks when the old cheeks will do just fine), especially with the alleged dearth of good men out there. So maybe, the idea of the devil you know versus the devil you don't know is worth the risk. As a man, I know that there are other fish in the sea and I've never felt like I'd be alone for long unless I wanted to be. But I don't know.
Anway, would you consider taking somebody back after they've cheated on you? Why or why not? And for dudes, (assuming you'd kick her to the curb faster than Bill Clinton and a new intern) why is it such a finite deal breaker?
I think this is crap. I am a woman and if a man cheated on me - his ass is out, or I cheat on him to get me back. There are PLENTY of men 'in the sea'.
I think it has a lot to do with the fact that even though it's the 21st century and we're all supposed to be enlightened and liberated, a lot of people are still hanging on to old stereotypes about the different attitudes men and women have towards sex. Men are presented as being more into sex for its own sake, as a purely physical act, so when a man gets caught cheating there is a perception that the poor dear just couldn't help himself...he was simply unable to resist generations of programming. Women, on the other hand, are supposed to be the caring, empathetic ones, and are supposed to value sex for the intimacy factor, thus when she cheats, it's seen as more of a betrayal of the relationship.
I guess I'm more like a dude then in some ways...I've broken up with guys who have cheated on me. No second chances. This may sound way harsh, but I've been friends with too many girls who come crying that their man has sampled booty AGAIN (as if the first few times wasn't enough) and they still stay with the guy, as if they think they can't do any better.
I can't speak for the men, but as a woman, I have to think of my health first and foremost. If my bf has been with someone else and comes home to me, I could get whatever nasty disease she may have. Not to mention the heart thing: if I can't give him what he wants and/or needs, then we're better off not being together. It just hurts too much to share a man with someone else.
I think it might be an ego thing. Guys are generally pretty competitive and have more fragile egos, so that probably has something to do with the imbalance you're talking about.
Well, look at the way this post is done, and then look at the replies. "if my boyfriend cheated on me" "If my woman cheats on me" guys are more possessive of their Significant Others, and consider them theirs. If another boy gets a bite of your ice cream, you're not gonna want it back. For a girl, boyfriends are more of equals then possessions.
It can sort of be explained by evolutionary psychology. Now I don't have the book here to reference, so don't quote me, but feel free to look into it. It all comes down to risk vs. benefit. On the part of the guy, he is expected to be the provider, and despite differences between modern and evolutionary requisites for survival, our brains are still hardwired to respond for survival and gene propagation. Here goes; if a woman cheats and pregnancy happens, Mr. Caveman would have no way of knowing if the cave infant is his. This puts him at risk of investing his hard-earned and limited resources in another mans genetic sac of meat. The risk to the woman is that if Mr. Caveman cheats, the resources available to her and their offspring may have to be divided. My thinking is that if this last scenario pans out, the woman he cheated with might possibly have the unwitting steady partner care for any resulting infant he thinks shares his genetic material. So the biggest risk - evolutionarily speaking - is to the man.
A guy cheats on me, he gets buried in the back yard. Ten feet under, after being tortured. I don't take the whole 'the poor dear is just wired that way' bullcrap. He's a fully grown ADULT with full control over his body.