WELCOME!

To what?

To GuySpeak's Strangest Half-Questions, Unanswerable Submissions & Weirdest Entries Awards, hosted by your favorite/current Funny Guy, me.

The GuySpeak's Strangest Half-Questions, Unanswerable Submissions & Weirdest Entries Awards, better known as The GSSHQUS&WE AWARDS, or simply as "The ?s" is another needless award show like The ESPYS or CMAs celebrating something unimportant, but strangely gratifying.

OK, tell me more, FG.

I'd love to. Each week I review hundreds upon hundreds of your submissions in the hopes of publishing your most pressing and compelling questions. But what happens to all the others? Well, many, unfortunately, get shelved for later use, or sold off to Third World websites for their oil. But then there's another group of "questions." Sentences that actually aren't questions and questions just too inane for actual use. So, rather than send them to the great delete button in the sky, "The ?s" pay tribute to these wack-ass submissions and salute the best of the best.

Without further ado, let's hand out some trophies.

In the Category of:

Nowhere Near a Question

The nominees are:
1. testing
2. You guys answer the dumbest questions.
3. HI
4. numbers
5. I really don't like my family. I'm 22.

and the "?" goes to.....................................numbers

In the Category of:

How on Earth Can I Possibly Know That?

The nominees are:
1. WHY?
2. Why doesnt he love me?
3. why does he dont love me
4. will my boyfriend marry me?

and the "?" goes to.....................................WHY?

In the Category of:

Wow. Really, You're Asking me This?

The nominees are:
1. is it raining in brandon flordia
2. want to get dinner sometime this week?
3. How big is my penis?
4. HOW MANY MILE DO YOU HAVE TO RUN TO LOSE 5LBS

and the "?" goes to.....................................is it raining in brandon flordia

In the Category of:

Questions about Questions

The nominees are:
1. When will i get a answer, from my question yesterday.
2. can i ask a question as a guest?
3. Does this work?

and the "?" goes to.....................................Does this work?

Earlier today I gave out "?" awards in several other categories. Here's a peek at the results:

For Outstanding Achievement in Trying to Get me Fired:
In your opinion, which two races would mix to get the physically prettiest baby?

For Outstanding Achievement in Convoluted Questions:
How do I respond to funny comebacks?

For Outstanding Achievement in Starting a Question in the Middle:
but then after that he has never called me or been in touch does it mean he was just trying to get laid

For Outstanding Achievement in "Well, There's Almost a Question in There":
n the words of the Vengaboys, I would really like a double boom. But... he usually finishes after my one, which is great! But ya' know a girl wants what she wants.

And wrapping up this inaugural installment of The GSSHQUSAWE AWARDS, The moment you've been waiting for:

The Grand Prize for Excellence In Random Entry That Made Me Laugh Out Loud Followed By Two Minutes Of Unease:

THE WINNER IS:

u mad bro?

Thanks for playing everyone. 'Til next time remember: There are no dumb questions. Just fantastic almost-questions!

Goodnight and Happy Quandaries