My wife and I are about to celebrate our 8th year as a couple (give or take some fuzzy math and that weird period when we were "just friends" again for a few months), and the milestone has brought with it a troubling change. As near as I can tell, I am no longer able to dream about having sex with other women.
If you're a girl, you're probably thinking how adorable that is. If you're a guy, you may be joining me in abject terror. I don't remember my dreams that often, as a rule, but when I do, they are invariably about me plowing a sampling of lovely ladies, both famous and simply mentally handy (the girl who cut my hair that day, the girl I saw on the bus, the shadow of a fern that reminded me of nipples).
Alas, no more. The other night, I literally dreamed of spending an entire night telling a nude Halle Berry that my relationship with my wife "meant too much to threaten." It's like the opposite of a wet dream. I woke up punching myself in the crotch, weeping, and having no idea why.
The worst of it is my wife was out of town and my computer on the fritz (not a joke), so the only way to get some sexual release was to fall back asleep and hope I could man up the second time around. I could not. Also Halle Berry had become a giant spider with guitars for legs.
So hey all you married people, clue me in. Am I really this pathetically loyal? Has anyone else out there have the experience of sex dreams interrupted by dream-monogamy? What are the "rules," if any, in dreamland. If you dream-cheat, do you tell your partner about it? Would you want them to tell you? Would you care?
Or just post your steamiest sex dream. Since I can no longer form my own, I must survive vicariously on the transcripts of others'.
If you're a girl, you're probably thinking how adorable that is. If you're a guy, you may be joining me in abject terror. I don't remember my dreams that often, as a rule, but when I do, they are invariably about me plowing a sampling of lovely ladies, both famous and simply mentally handy (the girl who cut my hair that day, the girl I saw on the bus, the shadow of a fern that reminded me of nipples).
Alas, no more. The other night, I literally dreamed of spending an entire night telling a nude Halle Berry that my relationship with my wife "meant too much to threaten." It's like the opposite of a wet dream. I woke up punching myself in the crotch, weeping, and having no idea why.
The worst of it is my wife was out of town and my computer on the fritz (not a joke), so the only way to get some sexual release was to fall back asleep and hope I could man up the second time around. I could not. Also Halle Berry had become a giant spider with guitars for legs.
So hey all you married people, clue me in. Am I really this pathetically loyal? Has anyone else out there have the experience of sex dreams interrupted by dream-monogamy? What are the "rules," if any, in dreamland. If you dream-cheat, do you tell your partner about it? Would you want them to tell you? Would you care?
Or just post your steamiest sex dream. Since I can no longer form my own, I must survive vicariously on the transcripts of others'.
I think it means that you really love your wife, and you don't want anything to hurt her, even in a fantasy-dreamland. What an incredibly lucky lady she is, to have someone like you.
You've given me a glimpse of hope, Michael, that I could possibly find someone who suits me as well as you and your wife suit each other.
Thanks for the inspiration! :) Love ya!
Michael, seriously you're so adorable! I'd love to be in your wife's shoes! You're the kind of guy that all girls want! You're the kind of guy I'd dream about! ;)
Though you already predicted it and it has been said, I've gotta say: SO ADORABLE. You're a saint of a guy, Swaim, or a brilliant liar. Attractive either way. :)
I know you predicted this, and it's been said, but I have to say it: So. ADORABLE. You are a saint, Michael, or a brilliant liar. Sexy either way.
Are you Serious though? Youre still young though Honey. When youre like 40, Im sure it will be quite different. Its funny how being attached for so long can make you feel much lonelier and uh, unattached.
Im sure in several years youll start seeing other ladies in a different light. Trust me, sex becomes a bigger priority to older men. 40 year old Swaim might not be too saint like. Just saying though....cheating is a choice, but sometimes inevitable when you have peenus.
Umm I'm sorry but did you really just spell penis that way? Like,.... really? Where did you come from? Where is this magical place where the word penis was never written for you to read and know how to spell correctly?
I have a two-part theory for the reason behind these dreams.
Part One: You really do love your wife and are (adorably) faithful to her.
Part Two: There has been a whole lot of talk in the news recently about cheating husbands. So, adultery has probably been on your mind recently (in the abstract sense of the word - like I said in part one, you wouldn't cheat).
I don't think you have to worry about being forever dream-faithful from this point forward. I think cheating's just a hot topic nowadays so it's unsurprising that you dreamt about it.
Hi Michael,
Well, I am a woman but let me tell you that you are not alone...for the first 13 years or so I was married...I could not have sex dreams with other men and I figured I was just an odd duck.
Then one night in my sweet slumber it happened..mr dreamy came to me..and it was amazing until just before I was about to be slipped the salami (sorry) I literally woke up with a start! Heart pounding and in a daze thinking it was real, that is how good it was and I thought I had actually just done that in real life and needed to come to my senses since my actions were for sure going to take down my marriage and my darling hubby would leave his cheating horny wife.
Well, you can only imagine my intense relief when I realized it was a DREAM.....Anyway it has taken time for me to be able to let my subconcious go there....each consequent dream got further and further and now I wake up feeling like molten lava with a smile and not a panicked heart racing lunatic wondering why she would cheat on her hubby.
sigh....thanks for the memories...I have never shared this progression with anyone soo I hope all of you can keep a secret....xo
I dream-cheated on my husband once. During the dream-affair, I kept telling the faceless but gorgeous stranger that it would ruin my marriage.
I woke up crying because of what I had "done" to my marriage.
I have the same type of problem. Here is what you do: You have to find a way to realize it is a dream (without waking up). You say to yourself, "This is just a dream. I am in control." Then, you can just dive in and get your dream booty because you know it isn't real. This is the only way I can get dream booty, otherwise I spend the whole dream trying to find a suitable location for getting it on, or worrying about it being cheating.
Dream booty is totally okay, and it isn't cheating. Everyone has sex dreams and you don't have to tell your significant others about them. Especially if it was with a real person that you actually know. I, however, would totally tell my boyfriend if I banged a celebrity in my sleep.
I have sexual dreams all the times; usually nameless and faceless men or women and sometimes, famous people or my friends; once you, as I think I have mentioned. Maybe you're just satisfied - completely - by your sex life
I think you're onto something. Aren't a lot of dreams born out of sub-conscious desires, things you repress or don't express in your consciousness, or have I been reading too much pseudo-science? Especially in a relationship, where sex is a huge component and lack of communication as to your wants and desire is common. Perhaps Mike and his wife have good communication, few secrets, and they just feel plain comfortable with each other- satisfaction and fulfillment.
Eh it feels funny examining someone else's relationship, so I'll just stop there.
yeah, after five years in a relationship with my husband i had a dream where i told an eager johnny depp i couldn't risk my marriage. very depressing, but normal apparently.
Maybe it is a sign to make your wife the object of your fantasies?
I won't say that it's adorable, I can imagine this is sincerely kind of disturbing.
I agree that it is not unusual (yep, happened to me too), and also not a sign of something bad. It might be a phase you are going though, but not only would I not count on it, I would not say it is something to try to change-you might ask yourself why it is so frightening?
Not dreaming about boning everyone other than your wife doesn't make you any less of the manly stud you are. Maybe you are just freaking out because it is new.
Doesn't this kind of remind "you" of HIMYM? Marshall has to kill off Lilly in order to fantisize about other women. Usually he kills her off w/ a horrible bout of the hiccups. And after an "appropriate" amount of time he gets to bang the hot UPS lady.
NO I DON'T WATCH TOO MUCH TV...YOU JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH! =)
Holy shit. Almost every post has the word 'adorable' in it.
Anyways, personally I'm loyal to a fault, and find loyalty to be a must in relationships. Your dreamland can be whatever you like, personally speaking. It's just a dream, it's not like you're actually going to bang it out with that hair dresser or that plant that reminded you about nipples. (A nice touch, might I add.) I also find your forced loyalty to be helpful, because I've only known men who cheat absurdly and/or don't speak their minds.
On the other hand, if you talk to your wife about almost everything in general, you might want to tell her. She would probably find it cute and a surge of mushy love will pump through her veins, reminding her why she married you. Either that, or she might have problems with your nightly dream gallivants. It's really your call on this one. :D
My boyfriend of less than a year told me he had the same experience. Apparently, a sexy girl on the train propositioned him, but he turned her down saying, "I'm sorry, I have a girlfriend". And then the sexy girl morphed into three burly men. It makes me wonder if I'm putting him under too much stress...