Hugh Hefner, after nearly being dumped at the altar by Crystal Harris, has already moved on to an older woman. Anna Sophia Berglund is a full 24 days older than Crystal, which still makes her age 25 to Hef's 85. Guys -- what's the biggest age difference you've ever dated? Do you think it's better for women to date older or younger men -- and is there ever a cap (oh, say 60 years) on how big the age gap should be?
Wise-Ass says:
I don't think it matters unless you're talking about old men marrying teenagers, like that creepy actor. Otherwise, I say live and let live. I do think that partnerships will large age gaps are more challenging than those between people of similar age. Challenging, but not impossible. Love is weird sometimes. Who are we to question it?
I've never dated anyone more than a year older or younger--not by design, that's just how it worked out--although when I was 16 I had a sexy older neighbor who asked me one day if I wanted to come in and test out her new waterbed. I was too innocent/stupid to realize what she was hinting at, and I've been kicking myself ever since.
Funny Guy says:
Ideally, a man should be peers with his lady's grandparents. That way the sex can be horrendous, the conversation can be strained and the prospect of day to day balance -- nil. A couple that is generationally in sync offers the opportunity for genuine connection and a level playing field; who wants that sh*t, when you have a shot at real inequality and dysfunction?
Girls' BFF says:
I've never dated a "seasoned" woman. Not because I'm opposed to it, the opportunity has just never really presented itself in a package I was comfortable with. I've dated older women than me, but we're talking about a few months to a year or so. Not 50. As far as women go, I think women should probably date older men...unless they're old in which case I think they should go for younger men. When you're in your 20s, dating an older man (late 20s to early to mid 30s) makes sense because his wants and desires are more likely to parallel your own assuming you want stability, etc. A young man just wants panties. I will say though that anything over 10 years just seems odd, on both sides of the spectrum. Hef's chick was insane. Actually, all of them are so this isn't real life anyway.
Mystery Man says:
Once you are over about 25, age is just a number. Don't sweat it. Biggest age difference - about 15 years, her being older. On balance, it was slightly too much of a difference in terms of what we expected out of life.
Reformed Player says:
My biggest difference was eight years or so, but frankly, if it's consenting adults, I'm pretty much "eh, whatever." Yeah, Hef's squeezes are probably gold diggers, but at the same time, I doubt he's stupid enough not to realize that: if they want to date an 85 year old, they're welcome to in my book.
Gal Pal says:
I've dated a man two decades older than me and a man two years younger than me. Their maturity level was almost identical. After a certain point (Mystery Man's age 25 sounds about right), every consenting adult can make his or her own (questionable) choices that I'm not about to judge (except quietly, behind their backs). But based on my dating experience, men who are just a few years older than you often have the best mix of zest for life and life experience. And as for Hef, I think he's playing us all brilliantly. God bless him and his bed.
Chic Geek says:
Isn't the accepted rule half your age plus seven? Or minus seven from your age and double it if you're looking at someone solder than you I guess...
Seriously, after the younger of the pair is about 25, that goes. I use it as a rule of thumb for talking to younger questioners, sure, but it is a guide. Not a rule.
For once I disagree with MM, while I have heard the line more times than I care to count, differences in age do matter. I will admit that I am 40 years old and have the appearance of someone much younger and have therefore been hit on by men anywhere from older than me to eighteen years younger than me and age makes a difference. A 25 to 30 year old man generally lacks the necessary self assurance to date a woman that much older and depending on the level of maturity of the man even those who are only 5 to 10 years younger have difficulty dating a woman that is older and self assured. I think it would be more appropriate to argue that a person should date others that are at the same point in life or level of maturity, which is usually much closer in age than 7 years apart.