1. Really long fingers
There's something excessively freaky about women with really long fingers to me. Not that I can't appreciate some of the things long fingers are good for - like digging holes at the beach or touching China - it's just that I don't want them touching me. Which is a problem because how far do you have to run away to be out of reach of a chick with really long fingers? Do you see how scary that is?
Since we're talking appendages...
2. Women with really rough hands
I used to know this woman who was very attractive. That is, until I saw her hands. She had the UGLIEST hands I've ever seen. Her hands looked like she built railroad tracks for a living with her bare knuckles. Or that she'd never been introduced to the wonders of lotion. Her hands made me think of an 87-year-old slap-boxing world champion whose hands took crack for three years and then made a comeback by fighting bricks. Yeah, I think that's about accurate.
3. Ugly walk
And I'm not talking about the French tradition. I'm talking about women who make me want to donate money to the National Podiatry Society for Research Into Why She Walks Like That and Ending World Hunger Fund. You know what I mean, women who look like it just hurts to even be moving forward, as if all the kinetics in the world are working in tandem to keep them at bay. Hmm, even simpler, it looks like she's fighting gravity, wind, and Poseidon with every step. That's not very sexy.
4. Smoking
Chimneys? Cool. Sausage? Bellisimo. Aces? No prob, Bob. Women? I just can't do it. I don't judge; to each his own. But I don't smoke. When I was in high school I used to date a chick who smoked on occasion. And I don't just mean my sausage. Badumching. Anyway, I found kissing her to be a true exercise in teenage love because I felt like I was eating a pack of menthols every time she puckered up. It got to the point where I told her I had teeth-gout and couldn't kiss anybody for two lifetimes. What a gullible chick, she totally believed me. Of course, she just started screwing another guy, but somehow, I feel like I came out on top. No pun intended. Either way, I just can't do it.
5. Women who look like it hurts to smile
If it literally takes a youtube collage of break dancing infants and nutkicks to make you crack a smile, you + me = calculus. It does not equal us. Word to 2Getha. I've met women for whom the idea of smiling was a foreign concept. Go bite somebody else's tree, Angryzilla. I like to hug pandas.
So, what are your dealbreakers?
Panama Jackson is waiting.
I have really long fingers...my boy toy says I'm a freak for it. Because of the length, my hands are longer than most mens. Not bigger, just longer. I love my hands, they are pretty.
Smoking is a deal breaker for me.
Emotional needyness needs to be burned.
Living with the folks, I like loud sex. As in you might be tempted to call the police on rare occasions when it's just THAT good.
Atheism. My boy toy is an atheist, that's why were not "in" a relationship. Otherwise I would have broke up with him eons ago. But who can give up above par sex.
I know this is kinda stupid and old fasioned, but if the guy doesn't pay at least on the first date, he won't be getting a second one. Thankfully most guys do not do this. Only assholes who think they can get ass for free. Sorry sir. Not going to happen.
Mentioning your high sex drive. Sorry, that makes me think you only want to satiate your high sex drive.
Republicans. Democrats are fucking pussies, but I can handle them. Republicans and I do not mix. At all. I can't be around people of such character. Being the pinko commie I am.
Pretty boys. You can't be prettier than me.
Spends more time in the gym than at work/home/with me. Not cool.
Listen to rap music. Huge deal breaker. I cannot listen to it. It makes my soul wretch.
Popped colars. Pink Polo shirts with a backward baseball cap and smelling like something picked up at the Gap. Can't do it. I have no respect for conformers.
Complaining more than is nessescary. That's a big one. Almost slept with a guy who worked in the stock room if he would have just stopped complaining about EVERYTHING for one day!
Talking badly about exes. I get that some women can do the shittiest of shitty things, but stop complaining!
That's all for now.
Tu Che on the rap music there Megan! Mine are as follows:
1:: Being "too cool for school" attitude. You know the guy who acts like you should give thanks to the grace of god that you even get to be seen with him. C'mon, get over yourself! You're not "THAT" great (and even if you were no need to act like a total d-bag!)
2:: Guys who's pants hang down to east jesus nowhere! Seriously you STILL think it looks cute to look like you crapped yourself!
3:: And to go along w/ "crappy" pants...guys you write and even talk like "dis" watchu no bout dat?! SERIOUSLY! Pick up a websters before you try and talk to me!
4:: Cheeseballs! I HATE CHEESEBALLS! No not the cheesepuffs you eat, but the guys who spit out corny ass shit that could be directly (or even indirectly) quoted from: The Notebook, Love Acutally, How to lose a guy in 10 days, He's Just Not That Into You, or any other corny ass Chick Flicks. Don't get me wrong they are my guilty pleasure but be original, sounding like you belong in a Jane Austen novel screams "TRYING WWAAYY TOO HARD!"
5:: Guys who smell. Either like they need to be introduced to my friend Ivory or Irish Spring, OR the guy who bathes in his cologne! I don't want to be suffocated nor do I want to end up feeling drunk just by sitting next to you.
I agree with all of your dealbreakers with just two adjustments:
• Apparently, I'm picky about my guy's pants because I also don't date men who wear skinny jeans.
• Racism or homophobia I can't tolerate, except for certain tasteless but well-timed jokes.
Totally agree w/ the skinny jeans too! I don't want my hunny to borrow my pants thank you very much...Plus, aren't the fella's like SUFFOCATING!
Smoking- It's nasty and makes you smell like crap. Plus if you don't take care of your body, how will you take care of mine?
Excessive Drinking- A social drinker is okay but a guy that gets drunk every weekend is lame.
A guy who doesn't respect his mom- Chances are if he doesn't respect his mom, he won't respect me.
No Car- I don't want no scrub. :D
Stage 5 Clingers- Enough said...
Yeah, a car is a must. I live in Chicago, parking is shit but I live in a residental area. Taking public to meet up is soooooooo not hot.
To not repeat any listed above (some of which, are completely and utterly true):
1. Conservatives/narrow-mindedness. It's 2010, what the balls? Evolve already. (not in a pokemon or digimon kind of way though..)
2. Guys in/with those sporty or... more like those cars used to drag race with the huge ass spoilers. GROSS. Might as well have your plates read "ASSWIPE"
3. No sense of humor. Correction; no sense of my humor. Inappropriate jokes, mostly of the sexually suggestive nature, light-hearted "non girly" banter - as a point of reference, think of The Office. Boo to you sir for not appreciating hilarity.
4. Homophobics. For some reason this quality is a real turn-off. I mean, what if your own kid is gay? Anyway, probably on par with # 1, but I had to state it.
I am sure there are more but I can't think on the spot like that.
isn't it a little narrow minded not to date conservatives?
I don't think so. I'm talking about dating someone, not about whether or not I would be friends with them. I can be friends, and have friends for that matter, with those who hold totally different opninions than I do on everything, but dating someone like that is much much different. Then you are talking about core values/morals/defining characteristics that just can't be glossed over, ignored, or compromised. Like one's stance on say, gay marriage or homosexuality -- what if down the line things get serious and you get married and have a kid who is gay? To disown or to accept and move on? Or their stance on regulating women's bodies by not supporting pro-choice/making abortions illegal; that would definitely not fly with me. My convictions are too strong on something like that. And to be with someone who thinks so differently on such an important issue that might apply to me (who knows) is a deal breaker for SURE. So no, it is not narrow-minded not to date conservatives when it comes to the vast differences in our core values that essentially help define who we are. You won't truly or wholly empathize/understand one another. What's that saying, "if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything" - yeah, something like that.
Isn't it a little narrow minded not to date a conservative?
No, because all they want are the virgins anyway.
Racism absolutely drives me nuts. Or a need to express just how much his life sucks. Also, it doesn't hurt for him to treat me like a lady... old fashioned, but paying on the first date and holding a door doesn't seem like too much to ask. But the biggest deal-breaker is laziness. If my guy can't go out and work as hard as I do, then it's no deal.
his pants fit NORMALLY. If I see a dude with "pants on the ground," well, like that guy on American Idol said..."...lookin like a FOOL with ya' pants on the ground!"
Has a pickup...I get stuck A LOT in the winter time...and I may like the occasional ride (mudding!) in the woods.
has that raunchy/oddball humor...I'm talking Superbad/The Hangover/Mel Brooks kind of humor.
Doesn't trash talk his family! I once went on A date with a guy who called his sister a c*nt. That was the last date with him...
MAKES AMAZING BBQ. nuff said!
Is independent. I can't handle clingy people. I need a girls night, you need a boys night. Simple as that :)
Shares my love for the outdoors. I camp, hunt, ride four wheelers, hike, and play outside. I can't stay cooped up in a house!
1.) Not having a sense of humor. I find humor or joy in most things so if you can't play along... we wont work.
2.) Not knowing when to shower. I'm fine with the smell of sweat after working out or playing out in the sun... that's sexy... but not showering for days at a time... body odor is NOT the new cologne.
3.) Text language. I'm an English teacher, trying to replace words with numbers makes my ass twitch.
4.) Not liking to read... please see above. I like having conversations about literature (this can be the latest Salvatore novel or something as heady as Chaucer) he doesn't have to have a library in his head, but a guy has to read something other than Maxim or the sports page.
5.) Lack of an open mind. I'm usually willing to try almost anything once... more if I like it, if he's closed off to new things (food, music, movies, books, sexual positions) we wont be together for very long.
6.) An unwillingness to continue to learn. He doesn't have to know everything, but aggressive ignorance is not something I can tolerate.
Ass sex - It won't happen, I won't let it.
Illiteracy - I like books. You should at least know what they are.
Holocaust denier/There's no global warming - Really? You sure about that? "Soylent Green is people!"
Eye patch - While I'd think it was kinda hot, it would totally freak me out. What's under there?! I wouldn't be able to deal.
Face tattoos - Distraction much?
Third man boob a la Total Recall - I'm okay with two man boobies, but three? That's asking a lot.
1. Smoking: definitely. Both my parents smoked, I can smell it from 50 ft away, there's no way I'd be able to kiss it. ICK
2. Short..sorry about this one, but I have never once been attracted to a guy shorter than me, and I'm 510" so that kind of sucks.
3. no sense of humor/can't take a joke... I'm sarcastic and like..no need to laugh a lot. So they have to be ok with that, and "get" my dry humor.
4. Anything that remotely indicates violence. Been there, done that. I'm sensitive about it so you'd better take your hands off of me when I ask or I will freak out.
1. Picky eaters - I cook with an open mind, to have to cook for someone who won't try something new because it looks, sounds, or smells weird is a complete frustration. We all have small things we don't like (me: Salmon in most forms, yogurt of the non-frozen variety, most canned veggies) but even then I try things out to see if my taste buds have changed.
2. Weird Voice - I'm very into sounds and my memories are most attached to what I heard, to be around someone with a weird voice, weird/creepy/unattractive laugh just doesn't compute.
3. Weak/Submissive/Groveling type - The idea of someone who would do anything for me, change their core being just to make me happy, or beg in any way is revolting. Come at me as an equal and already expecting respect .
4. No chin or jaw line - What do I run my finger across, kiss/lick down? I just don't understand how someone could have no chin, it boggles the mind. I'd be making perplexed faces the whole time, furrowing my eye brows which will cause wrinkles. I avoid anything that's going to cause me wrinkles.
5. Face or neck tattoos - imagine that with a guy who has no chin or jaw line, I'm dry heaving just thinking about it. I'm giving myself a headache. Neck tattoos seem like the biggest regret. On the wedding day I'll have him dressed up as some Victorian dude with the biggest neckerchief ever trying to hide permanent skin art that I will be married to when we're 80.
haha now I'm in a funk...can someone do a blog of what they DO go for in a girl?
Bar stars - those guys who think they're 'the shit' at the bars. Blegh.
Drug addicts - I put this on my list because I've had huge crushes on the weirdest guys... but a drug addict would never happen.
I actually had a pretty long list there, but when I looked at it further I realized that I could deal with most issues. Oh and I probably couldn't go for anyone who reminded me of Michael Douglas. God I hate that guy (for no discernible reason)
1- Negativity I can't stand being around a guy who complains all the time.
2. Conservatism (I agree with EDY)- Its not only the idea that we agree on important issues, its the denial of FACTUAL information. If there's one thing I hate, its people who chose to act irrationally, and/or are stubbornly irrational. If they vote conservativelyon fiscal issues cause they have money thats fine- I'm a libertarian so we agree 50/50.
3. Lack of ambition- I hate people who go through lives like slothes. More importantly, they need to CARE about the things they do.
4. Doing drugs- Yuck!
5. Extreme insensitivity. I'm talking about guys who blatently check out other women in front of me, make fun of fat girls, and are in general crude. Its a deal breaker!
Chewing Tobacco. It's disgusting. Just.. no. It wouldn't work.
Clingy people. They bug me. I like affenction and all, but not 24/7.
In no particular order:
Drugs: I can do smoking or a little bit of weed but anything heavier, nah.
Religion: I am an athiest through and through, don't do religious people, sorry.
Excessive Hair Gel: Just, no.
Fake Tan: Nooooooooo.
Big Sports Fans: No interest in sports, big turn off for me.
Genuine "Bro's Before Ho's" mentality.
Men who complain about their terrible family life on the first date!
Men who say "i love u" wayyyy too soon!
Men who try t get all intimate and be sexy with dry or ashy legs![you've got to do better guys!]
Men who attempt to get it on while ESPN is on in the background!
Men who talk big about their sex game and end up "finishing" within 15 minutes..then have the nerve to say its because "you're just too much for themand ur sex is too good" as if that can recompensate the time u lost "not" getting to you finish!!!
LOL>....I can go on and on...but i'll end here.That tis' all..thank u!
15% or less tipping- I was a waitress for many years. 18% or more, c'mon!
Guys who don't pay on the first date- I'm a feminist and believe it should be 50-50, but I don't want any discussions as to who is paying or how to split the bill on the first date.
Any guy who has an image that he works hard to uphold- "The Artist", "The Hippy", "The English Major", "The Musician", etc. If you work harder on the image, then I can't deal with you.
Lives with parents- I've overlooked this in the past, but it is usually a sign of bigger problems. They are usually lazy, unmotivated, and attached to their mothers. I moved out when I was 18, why can't you?
Lazy- Guys who have no goals and are just happy with the status quo should be avoided at all cost. I like to work hard, and play harder!
Close-minded about foods- How you approach food, is how you approach life. If you're not willing to try new things, then I'm not willing to try you. Plus, I like to cook food with a lot of garlic, spices, and herbs. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen!
EAR-LICKING- Who ever said it was ok to stick your tongue in my ear??????
Bad kissers- "You can teach them how to kiss" croon my girlfriends. Absolutely not, its something that either comes to you, or doesn't. I should not have to teach a 30-year-old man how to not to eat my face.
Talks about an ex-girlfriend more than 3X on first date
Shorter than me- Sorry, I know its superficial.
I can handle smoking - I hate it and the smell drives me crazy & coughy but if there's enough attraction/desire there a bit of smoke taste will go unnoticed
I will say an alcoholic / person with no motivations/goals in life is a waste of time - hobbies & interests are key, you need to be able to have a conversation now & then
inability to converse - I'm not saying there has to be words all of the time, but come one expression/communication is key, you have to be able to stand up for yourself or I'll drag you to see every nicholas sparks book to movie that comes out whether I want to see it or not. I want you to be interesting - if I'm bored it's bad...
lack of touching - i'm girly I want to feel safe/protected whatever psychologists use to describe it I need it, cuddle me while we watch tv or sleep every now & then, if I can't enjoy your warmth i'll get lonely
1) Drugs are an absolute deal-breaker for me.
2) It's okay to have a drink occasionally, but if you get f''ed up constantly then that's a problem.
3) No sense of humor. I am totally sarcastic and like making jokes about life. I hate it when people are too serious.
4) Smoking around me. I have asthma, so the last thing I need is an asthma attack because you want to be stubborn and blow smoke in my face.
5) Conformists need not apply. You're a unique individual. Embrace it!!!
6) Remarking about my weight. I'm well aware that I could lose a few, you don't have to remind me all the time.
7) No ambition. Being satisfied with a gas station job doesn't cut it. At least go to college and find something you like, even if it's teaching or something.
8) Ejaculating in my mouth when I ask you not to. Enough said.
9) Showering is a must. At least every other day, every day in the summer.
10) Going through my shit. A biggg no-no.
11) Emotionally needy people drain me. Seriously, grow a pair! You're a man, not a five-year-old boy!
12) Complaining about my cooking. I'm no Betty Crocker, but don't expect me to cook a full dinner and then complain loudly about it the whole time. Next time, let me order a damn pizza!
13) Trying to change me is #1 dealbreaker. I'm weird, goofy, and feminine in an oddball way; I'll never be a girly-girl. If you don't like that, find someone else.