A general question came in this week that deserves the front and center stylings of a weekly blog. It involves the slippery mattress of knowing when to leave after a casual hookup/casual sex. You see, just because you're sleeping together doesn't mean you are actually going to be or should be sleeping and snoring together. For some guys waking up next to a woman they just met is too intimate. The reality is the world of "casual" can be anything but. It can be treacherous and intense. The rule is there is no rule. Every hook up every night needs to be treated as an individual case. That shouldn't make things scarier, but in a way easier - more empowering. Why? Because it necessitates you read the situation in real time rather than sheepishly sticking to some plan your girlfriend tells you is a hard and fast rule.
Should I stay or should I go is a game of finnese. And that of course goes for your partner too. Sometimes you're the homeowner and you want nothing more than to get big wang, but bigger mouth Charlie back in his sneakers and out the door. You want shut-eye not a night of a dude telling you about his dog growing up and why his sister is so "funky and cool". A casual hook-up means you're on the hook to be open and flexible. The problem of course being when two people don't see things the same way.
But if all this is too opaque let me break it down like this. A dude probably wants you to bounce if:
1. He keeps looking at his watch and saying how late it is.
2. He keeps looking at his watch and saying how early he has to get up.
3. He keeps mentioning how much his roommate hates when guests stay over.
4. He starts dressing you.
5. He asks you if you know the number for the local cab dispatcher.
6. He rolls over and says, "Can you leave the door a bit ajar on your way out, it gets super hot in here."
7. He says. Well I had a nice time tonight...
8. He asks how far you live from his place.
9. He leaves to go to the bathroom for over...10 minutes. (that is a stall/ wait 'em out tactic).
10. He supposedly falls asleep super quickly and strategically spreads his body out on the bed like an immovable flesh blanket.