I'm not talking about what you do with them. That's your business. I'm talking about the questions you ask us, questions about the size, shape, smell, color, performance and desirability of the little friend in your pants. Questions like these actual submissions from the GuySpeak archives:
What do guys think if a girl's vagina lips are noticeably uneven?
Do vaginas taste bad when you are going down on us? Even if they are very clean, is it a bad taste? Please be honest.
Are guys turned off by a hairy vagina?
I feel like my flaps are really long. Is this disgusting to men? I'm really-self conscious about it.
My vagina smells terrible to me. Is this normal?
Do guys find a saggy vagina a turn-off?
I've had a child and my vag is not the same as it used to be. Will he notice?
You're insecure about your junk. I get it. Men are insecure about ours, too, sometimes. I usually answer these insecure vag questions by saying--and it's the truth--that men don't notice all the little imperfections that you notice, so much of your anxiety is wasted energy. But then, I don't have a vagina, so my expertise is limited.
That's why I will direct you to a fine piece (pun intended) written by Emily McCombs for xojane. It's called "A Love Letter To Your Vagina," and if you're doubting the magnificence of your vajangalang, you need to read it.
Emily's letter begins:
Hey, you.
I see you out there, coddled in silk and cotton, tucked inside skirts
and pants, or just flapping in the breeze as it ruffles your hair. Or
maybe you don't have any hair, or just a little tuft of hair like a
newborn baby, or maybe you have a Hello Kitty face or your boo's
initials shaved in there. I don't know all of you specifically. But I do
know this: You're all just fine.
A couple of paragraphs later, she's got a full head of steam and gets to the heart of the matter:
I am addressing this letter to fat vaginas, thin vaginas, white
vaginas, pink vaginas, brown vaginas, big vaginas, small vaginas, wet
vaginas, dry vaginas, bumpy vaginas, vaginas with big floppy labia and
vaginas that are sort of closed up like a clamshell, vaginas that ejaculate, and vaginas that just want to be left alone....
You (the vagina reading this) are great. You
look great, you're shaped great, you smell great. You're a great size
and a great color. I love you.
That makes two of us, Emily.
The rest of you, go read the article right now and start feeling better about your bits. I'll be here writing a love letter to my penis.
I hope he likes sonnets.
Oh I love, love, love this! Thank you for loving us back, Cary. :)
Again, youre the best Cary ! ❤
You guys sure get some strange questions. ;)
Great writing, as usual!
As a guy - I'm consider myself a professional Vagina judger.
Let me tell you a secret. No one else will tell you this:
Ready?
The best vagina, ever, is on the one we love.
End of discussion. So love yourself the way you are, because we do.
Great... too bad so many people are hung up on how they look.
Here is a little tip for the ladies drink or eat pineapples it is known to make your vagina juices taste good. Also don't be afraid to taste your vagina juice the more you know about yourself the better. I know I am definitely sweet to eat.