Of course, "truth" is completely subjective when people are involved. Heck, people have been arguing the validity of the Bible for eons and nobody can prove or disprove anything in there.
Which brings me to the point for today. I heard some woman on the radio this morning state that she hooked up with some guy on a one night stand, but because she felt guilty she decided to go out with him again (and possibly smang again) just to be able to say she didn't have a one night stand but actually "dated" him.
Now, to me that is complete horses$#!^. You can't retroactively abolish an event. Especially since your desire to deal with this guy has nothing to do with dating so much as just spending time in order to proclaim that you did indeed not just spend one night with somebody. What's even more ridiculous is that the only way this matters is if you're even talking amongst a bunch of people and your sexual history comes up in conversation. Which can happen but what's the likelihood of having a convo where you'd have to shamefully admit you had a one night smang off with somebody after age 21?
I'm a guy and while I'm sure most of us have had one night stands, very rarely does it come up in convo. I think I got away from the point, though. Forget the social ramifications.
Going out with dude a second time doesn't constitute dating. In fact, I feel like while dating has a technical definition of its own, in practice, if you're just spending time with somebody that you have no interest in whatsoever, that doesn't constitute a date. But...it might constitute hanging out, which if you're future spouse were to ask about, legally, you might be able to get away with it.
The loophole. For the record, I think its BS, but who am I to begrudge anybody going to such lengths to ensure that they cannot be viewed in a light they deem negative. If you go through all of that trouble, I think I'll give you the pass. At least in person.
But you were a one night stand. You can lie to me, just don't lie to yourself.
Anybody ever been a one night stand and continued to see somebody just so they could say they dated? Further, does this make sense?
Talk to me.
Yes, I have done this. In fact, I don't think you should be so harsh, as you are not subject to many of the social ramifications a woman might face. There is certainly a stigma attached, even within a close group of friends. Women do discuss their dates and one night stands, often at great length. It isn't something that happens and is promptly forgotten, unfortunately.
More than that, though, it has a lot to do with value and self-respect. A woman who chooses to go out again with a one night stand is proving to herself that she was valued by this man, regardless of whether she chose to pursue anything. It might not seem like a big deal for you, but it can be emotionally devastating to realize just how little someone cares for (or is even attracted to) you. For a lot of women, their self-worth is determined by the attention they get from men. A second night shows that the attention was not only influenced by drunkenness, etc.
I think it has a lot more to do with proving something to yourself, rather than proving something to the world (though that factors in, as well).
F**k stigmas.... You are an adult! You are a sexual being! There is no need to apologize or be ashamed of what you want or need. The fact that so many women feel the need to justify their sexual exploits to themselves or others is rediculous! What year is it?! Be safe, make wise choices and nobody can say anything about you. Do you value yourself? Do you really need to base your value off of what some guy you drunkenly humped thinks of you? What kind of friends do you have that you feel like you can't be truthful? Come on people! Own up!
Just because you don't feel the need to justify your actions to yourself or others does not mean everyone feels the same, or should feel the same. I have always been someone who cares about the opinions of others (and not just in a bad way, as I am very empathetic).
It isn't any better to criticize me for my feelings or actions than it would be to shame me for a one night stand. You're right - I am an adult - and therefore do not have to explain myself to anyone, including you. I have a right to have whatever feelings I like about a certain situation.
I had a one night stand once, I wasn't proud of myself, but I just resolved not to let it happen again. I didn't even like the guy while drunk, I did not want to see him sober. I'm not a one one nigh stand kind if person, and I realized it was boos and depression that put me in the situation, a date with the guy wasn't the solution to the hit my self esteem suffered. I haven't had a one night stand in the five years since, and I think my self esteem is better now than had I tried to make excuses to myself. I think if I had gone for the loop hole I'd have just done it again and have felt even worse about myself. As far as the social stigma, when I'm talking about my sex life to friends I don't have the utmost trust in, I just don't mention it, it's no ones business but mine.
Hell no. I've had a couple one night stands (though they weren't with complete strangers), but the last thing you wanna do is see the person again. It almost sounds masochistic (not the word, but I'll roll with it): "we've done ungodly things together last night, but now let's talk about the weather on this awkward first date"....
It's bullshit. Women complain about sexual double standards between men and women and they perpetuate it with this kind of crap. Women go around calling each other sluts and whores all the time, degrading their own sexual independence and ability to act as a free thinking individual. I hate this bullshit.