This Interview is long, juicy and good to the last drop. That's what you get when you ask the right questions to an award winning erotica author, Senior Editor of Penthouse Variations, editor of over 25 erotic books -- including titles like Bottoms Up, Spanked, The Mile High Club,, and former sex columnist for the Village Voice. So kick off your nipple clamps, and untie your undies -- you're about to get loose with Rachel Kramer Bussel.

Funny Guy: Rachel, I'd like to believe you're answering the following questions dressed in a tattered Victorian gown, tied up in chains and surrounded by six muscular castle guards. K?

Rachel Kramer-Bussel: Hot! Let's make that happen.

FG: You are at the forefront of erotica/erotic romance for woman. Publishing, Speaking, Vlogging etc. Can you tell us a bit about the history of erotic literature for women and how the genre is faring these days?

RKB: Erotica has a rich history, but erotica aimed specifically at women is newer on the scene. The Herotica series edited first by Susie Bright, as well as her Best American Erotica series, brought erotica to a lot of new readers in the early 90's and it's been growing and changing since then. The world of ebooks has given erotica a huge boost, and means that you don't have to leave your home or let anyone in public know you're reading erotica. There's also a lot of variety; there's erotica aimed specifically at women and couples, bisexual erotica, lesbian erotica, kinky erotica, gay male erotica, etc. You can experiment and pick and choose. There are anthologies like my Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex, which can be read in just a few minutes, and are great for reading aloud with a lover. I think there's something for everyone, and choosing a book with a variety of stories (I'll plug my book Orgasmic, which features 25 stories of female orgasms, ranging from a woman turned on by chemistry to a G-spot story to kinky sex and more) can be a way to figure out what piques your interest. The world of romance has gotten a lot more spicy as well, whether in mainstream romance as well as the genre of erotic romance, which also features explicit sex but has a happy ending between a couple.

FG: They say a picture paints a thousand words, but hot damn, some of your words paint a thousand images. How did you gravitate toward this type of writing? Were you so impressed with your own sexual imagination growing up that one day you just said, 'Wow, other people really need to hear what I'm thinking'?

RKB: Actually, growing up this is the last thing I thought I'd be doing. I was a virgin until the summer after high school and even then and during college I wasn't really as attuned to my fantasy life, sex was more something I did with whoever I was dating. That side of me started to open up when I moved to New York for law school in 1996 and discovered all these exciting things like vibrators and sex parties and acted on some of these new fantasies, and also started reading more erotica.

FG: A big part of your message seems to be communication and exploration. Would you say these are the cornerstones to satisfying sex with another person? What else are pillars or key ingredients?

RKB: Making sure you aren't expecting your partner to do something that's beyond their reach. Even if you're monogamous, your partner can't fulfill every sexual need you've ever had, and they also can't read your mind. Letting them know what you're thinking and feeling and also listening to them and being open to their desires, and using those to further your mutual sex life. Learning from each other and figuring out what you're into together can lead to more knowledge about each other as well as yourself, and you can use that knowledge to both please the other person and make yourself happier. Being open to trying new things also helps; this doesn't mean you have to say yes to anything and everything, but especially in the longterm, making sure that you don't just do things because that's the way you've always done them, but that you're both still into each other and what you're doing sexually. In other words, before you get to the point of being in a sexual rut, check in with each other and keep talking and asking questions; that doesn't have to only be something you do in the beginning of a relationship.

FG: Many people still grew up thinking that masturbation is wrong. How is it we as a society still harbor thoughts of shame about self-touching?

RKB: I don't know, but that to me is one of the saddest and worst things we shame ourselves about. What could be more natural than being in tune with your own arousal? I think some of that lingers now in the form of "masturbation is for single people" thinking, and the idea that having your own erotic fantasy life and things you like to do or think about on your own, separate from a partner, is a bad thing. It's not. You don't give up that side of yourself just because you get in a relationship; maybe you want to share it, or some of it, and maybe you don't.

FG: I field many questions from women who seem some what divorced from their sexuality -- almost as if they are mere vessels for their partners to have sex with. What advice can you give women who feel estranged from their own sexuality?

RKB: Women are taught, in many ways and forms, that our sexuality is for men, and that our job is to please a man first, and ourselves secondarily. I don't think the two are in conflict with each other, and in fact, I think straight men want to be with women who have their own fantasies and desires and can be open about them. They don't necessarily want women to always feel like they're "performing" or pleasing them, and when that happens I would imagine men feel insecure because they don't really know what she's about and how they can please her. Many of us tend to do a dance of trying to figure out what the other person wants--and there's nothing wrong with that in and of itself--but we do it at the exclusion of what we want. It should be a give and take and for me, that process of learning about the other person is one of the hottest things ever. So for women who want to feel more in touch with their own sexuality, I recommend masturbating and also just looking around, whether when you're out and about, or at erotic videos or stories, if those appeal to you, and asking yourself what your ideal sexual scenario would be, and who it would be with. It doesn't mean that you are ignoring your partner, but that you're tapping into what you are interested in. You can then choose whether to share that or not, but the confidence you gain from knowing something essential about your sexual nature will translate into the bedroom.

FG: They say men are more aroused by visuals and the external, while women get turned on more so through internal mechanisms and their emotions. Do you think that's bullshit? Is it accurate or helpful to categorize the sexes like that?

RKB: That's a broad stereotype that may be true for some people but is in no way true across the board. It also makes the assumption that visuals are one monolithic thing, when there are an infinite number of visual cues we could use. Maybe you're into porn, and maybe she is too, but those might be different types or porn. Or maybe one of you is into still images. There are so many sites, especially on Tumblr, where there are images that I find incredibly sexy, and those are ones you can build a whole story around. I don't think you can generalize about the sexes because we are all so different.

FG: Many couples that continue past the honeymoon phase complain that their sex lives have slowed down to a painful drip; how can they strike a match in their crotch and minds and get back to that old lust humping of yesterday?

RKB: You could try revisiting the scene of one of your early dates, or somewhere that holds special meaning for you, or just talk about what one of the hottest times you've had sex was and why. Remind yourself what you saw and continue to see in the other person and let them know. Maybe try telling them something sexual you've never told them, or try working sex into a time of day when it doesn't usually happen. Also remember that even if you don't have time for full-on sex, you can plant the seed of a fantasy or something you'd like to do, and get each other thinking in a lustful way again. That can extend throughout your day, even when you're not physically together. Often knowing the other person is dreaming and fantasizing and planning about what they want to do with you can be a turn-on in and of itself, and can lead to more sex happening and a general eroticism in the air.

FG: We get tons of questions like how do I give the world's best blow job? The worlds best fingering? etc. Obviously one lick, rub, touch doesn't fit all, but can you provide some general advise or rules?

RKB: I find those kinds of questions very tough because everyone's different. I don't think there's a works-for-everyone blowjob (or whatever) tip. For instance, I like very firm, intense pressure and stimulation of my nipples, but I know plenty of people don't. You can't know something like that without asking someone, or feeling them out (or up, ha!). You can't let your ego get so in the way of wanting to be "the best" or "good at" any given sexual act that you lose sight of the person you're with and what they want. Even if you've tried something with 10 other girls and it's always been well received, that doesn't mean that girl 11 will find it hot.

FG: Can't 'fantasy' be a double-edged sword? In other words fantasy and role-play can be used to bring a couple together but can't it also divide couples and create terrible insecurities? How do you tell your black husband you wish he were an Asian woman?

RKB: I think there's a validity to being afraid that sharing fantasies will open up a can of worms, and I think you have to figure out which fantasies you want to share and which perhaps you don't, as well as whether it's a fantasy you actually want to live out or one that you simply find arousing to talk about. I have way more of the latter than I do of the former. I don't think, say, if you're a woman fantasizing that her black husband were an Asian woman, it necessarily means you want to be married to an Asian woman (although it might); maybe it just means that for a night, or longer, you want to be free to think about being with an Asian woman, whether or not she has your husband's personality.

In my opinion, we've extended the idea of monogamy so far that we often require it of our partner's fantasies too and that's asking a huge amount. Just because your partner has fantasies that don't include you explicitly doesn't mean they're not attracted to you anymore. It could be something that turns them on in addition to you, or maybe something they just want to talk to you about and spin a mental image that gets you both off. I think we have to give people more credit for being able to separate fantasy and reality. At the same time, you want to listen to your fantasies; they may be telling you something your conscious mind can't process.

FG: No question gets more juice around here than anal sex. Anal sex = whore, Anal sex = liberated, Anal sex = gay, anal sex = dangerous. Why is it such a hot button topic? Why can't anal sex just mean anal sex?

RKB: I'll add to that and say one of my pet peeves around the discussion of anal sex is that anal sex is so often only thought of as "penis in anus" sex, rather than all sorts of anal stimulation. Just touching someone there, even the lightest of touches, can be totally hot, and whether that's all you do or whether you build from there, that is still a form of anal sex. In my experience guys sometimes forget that and act like getting their dick inside a girl's ass is the be all and end all, but you can't just go from nothing to that, you have to work up to it. To me that's one of the hottest parts of anal sex, the working up to it, the talking about it, the seeing what works and what doesn't. All the stereotypes just get in the way of people enjoying it.

FG: Why do some women have such difficulty orgasming? Is it physiological or emotional?

RKB: As someone who doesn't have such easy orgasms myself, I don't know the answer to that question, but I think a first step is getting rid of a lot of the shame and recognizing that women's bodies are different, and that's okay. Don't let anyone, especially lovers, try to make you feel insecure or pressured into having orgasms; focusing on sexual pleasure as a whole, rather than just orgasms, can be useful in making it more of a full experience, rather than one with a single goal.

FG: Why is monogamy so challenging for humans? Should our personal and societal concept of monogamy be more fluid?

RKB: I tend to think some people are naturally better suited toward monogamy than others, but it's hard to say because our culture is so fixated on monogamy that we don't give ourselves too many outside options, and we tend to assume that anyone in an open or non-monogamous relationship is off having sex with anyone and everyone. Every open relationship is different, and sometimes people weave in and out of monogamous periods, but I do think our insistence that monogamy is the only real way to have a good relationship is part of what leads so many people to cheat.

FG: What are the key ingredients to erotic storytelling?

RKB: The basics of who, what, when, where and why are very important, as are using as many of the five senses as you can. You don't just want to write about what the sex was like, but why the people involved were doing it, what's their motivation, why are they attracted to this person, why are they doing it at this time? Building up as much suspense and arousal as possible and making the reader breathless with anticipation. It's not that every story needs to be 20 pages, or even 10, but that you shouldn't rush things; you want to tease the reader, if you will, and get to the heart of what the story is about.

FG: What makes you feel sexy? Have you ever been in sexy-slump, and, how do you shake it?

RKB: For me feeling sexy is a day to day thing. If I wake up in a bad mood or feel uncomfortable with my body or my clothes or am stressed, it's hard to feel sexy. Sometimes it's as simple as a beloved lipstick and/or dress that gets me back into that headspace. I like to have dates to look forward to, or when I have a crush that tends to make me feel sexy, even if I'm not doing anything to act on it.

FG: What is the distinction between porn and erotica? The video market is probably 99% produced and angled for men. Do you think this will change overtime and is the kind of sex we see on popular porn sites degrading, objectifying, and all together dog shit?

RKB: I think you can't really make that distinction without it becoming a matter of judgment. Yes, there is visual porn and yes there is written erotica, but who cares what you call it? I think anything that gets people off, written or visual, can be called pornography, and there's nothing wrong with porn or erotica, it's a matter of taste and preference. I don't think anyone should be coerced into viewing or reading something that's not to their taste, but by the same token, you shouldn't judge someone for what they watch or assume you know something essential about them simply based on what they like to look at. It relates back to the idea of fantasies; just because someone likes to look at a certain type of porn or read a certain type of erotica doesn't mean anything beyond that they appreciate that. If your partner is into something that you don't understand, ask them about it, figure out what makes it hot for them, and maybe that will help you get to know them.

FG: When you first started out in this field, were you nervous what your family and friends might think? What do they think now about your career and following?

RKB: I wasn't nervous; maybe I should've been, but I think not being nervous and not really thinking about the future consequences allowed me to be freer in my writing. My family is supportive for the most part, save for my mom. I try to send them my G-rated pieces to give them something safe to read.

FG: What advice do you have to budding erotic writers in terms of honing their craft and getting their work out there?

RKB: Use the kinds of language and settings that come naturally to you; don't try to sex it up or make it "more porn-y" because you think that's what an editor wants. Make it true to your sensibility. Read it out loud, slowly and carefully, and see what works and what doesn't. If you can find a critique partner, have them look it over and give you feedback. And submit your work; http://www.erotica-readers.com has a wealth of resources, including a list of calls for submissions. Send it out and keep on writing! Even if you wind up writing a 500-word snippet and aren't sure what to do with it, that's still valuable. If you're stuck, start at the end, or the middle, or wherever your inspiration strikes, and work around that. Use everything as fodder, from the news to your home to your city to your supermarket. Think about unconventional settings and ways of approaching a given erotic theme.

FG: How do you know if a fantasy should be actualized, -- executing the idea .... "I'm sick of fantasizing about taking a bath with an obese postal worker licking my feet. It's time to act on it'"

RKB: I think you should think long and hard about how you would truly feel to be in that situation, and if it's a little exciting and a little scary, what would make it safer? How can you proceed but still have a way out if it doesn't all go according to plan? Whatever you have to do to make yourself comfortable if you're going to go forward with it, do it. And recognize that it may be even better than your dreams, and it may not be; you have to be prepared for both outcomes if you go forward.

FG: Ok, Rachel, finish these sentences. The best sex I ever had was...?

RKB: In a hotel room.

FG: The worst sex I ever had was...?

RKB: Awful

FG: Not to toot my own horn, but one of my greatest pieces of writing is...?

RKB: Espionage

FG: The sexiest thing about a woman's body is usually...?

RKB: Her back.

strong>FG: The sexiest thing about a man's body is usually...?

RKB: His voice.

strong>FG: RKB, where can our readers learn more about you and pick up your work?

RKB: My website: RachelKramerBussel, my blog LustLady, my blog CupCakesTakeTheCake, my tumblr RKB. You can follow me on Twitter at Raquelita, or catch up with me on ObsessedEroticRomance, not to mention GottaHaveItBook, BestBondageErotica and last but not least BestSexWriting

strong>FG: Wow, you are one prolific erotica machine. Thank you so much for your insights and vision, Rachel.

RKB: My pleasure, Amit.