I really should have titled this Law:3 Women:0.
Been thinking a lot about sex this week, for various reasons. "Duh, you're a guy, of course you have!" comes the universal response in the comments. Seriously, whoever invented that statistic that guys think about sex every 3 seconds has a lot of explaining to do to a hell of a lot of very pissed off guys.
It started Monday, when I was searching for a follow up to a terribly sad story I had read, and written about elsewhere, from South Africa. A schoolgirl, 15 years old, was raped at school by two boys. The whole thing was filmed on camera phones by other students, the films shown to teachers - who laughed at it! The case against the boys was thrown out for "lack of evidence." Then the schoolgirl was charged with statutory rape, as both boys were under the age of consent. So, not enough evidence for them to be found guilty of rape or sexual assault, but plenty for her to be found guilty. Still, that is South Africa. Far away, right? And yes, sometimes I really hate my editors (I hasten to add - other editors - not here).
Trawling the net for related news stories, I came across this gem. Yet another judge basically blaming the victim for being sexually assaulted. "The judge pointed out the victim and her friend were dressed in tube tops, no bras, and high heels and noted they were wearing plenty of makeup." F*cking excuse me?! Come on, Justice Dewar, the whole idea of No Means No hasn't made it to Manitoba yet? We all know Canadians are a bit slow on the uptake and there is absolutely nothing to do in Winnipeg apart from drink and screw, but that is just freaking ridiculous. The hundred or so people who attended the rally demanding his resignation obviously agreed, though, being Canadians, it was a very polite protest. Still comfortably ignorable, as it didn't happen here. Easier to say "Not our problem."
"On February 18, 2011, the U.S. House of Representatives voted to bar Planned Parenthood health centers from all federal funding for birth control, cancer screenings, HIV testing, and other lifesaving care." Oh, yeah, this is a touch closer to home, isn't it. Like right on your doorstep close. Simply because the clinics provide abortions - after counselling sessions - all the good they do stops getting funded. Planned Parenthood clinics, being free to all people, actually catch HIV, HPV, breast and cervical cancer early enough to make a significant difference in people's lives. Not something to make a political football out of, you would have thought. Sadly, the politicians thought otherwise.
To me, the biggest point that comes out of these three stories, the one that connects them, is not so much that the people in positions of authority think that their morality is the only acceptable one. That happens everywhere, whenever people are granted power over others. It is annoying, but something that we simply have to live with.
But the sheer arrogance of the people we rely on to make and enforce the laws of the land assuming that a woman's reproductive ability, her appearance, mode of dress and right to choose as she will is something that old white guys (predominantly) should have the slightest say in puts me into a total rage.
I'll be totally honest, I personally consider abortion a sin, there is really no other word, unless there are special circumstances - like rape. And my opinion means precisely jack sh*t. It is easy for me to say that - I don't have to carry, care for and raise the baby, I am just some random guy on the net.
But an even bigger sin, to me, is to refuse a woman her choice. Her body, her rules, her right. It is a no brainer, the very foundation of human rights. To remove, or make harder the right of choice for any person should be grounds for the instant dismissal of any public figure, be it a judge, a congressman or a president.
A woman's body is hers. It does not belong to Congress, or the legal system, or whatever male she happens to be with at the time. The only one who has any damned say at all should be her. End of story.
Sorry for the rant mode, but this whole situation really pisses me off.
Been thinking a lot about sex this week, for various reasons. "Duh, you're a guy, of course you have!" comes the universal response in the comments. Seriously, whoever invented that statistic that guys think about sex every 3 seconds has a lot of explaining to do to a hell of a lot of very pissed off guys.
It started Monday, when I was searching for a follow up to a terribly sad story I had read, and written about elsewhere, from South Africa. A schoolgirl, 15 years old, was raped at school by two boys. The whole thing was filmed on camera phones by other students, the films shown to teachers - who laughed at it! The case against the boys was thrown out for "lack of evidence." Then the schoolgirl was charged with statutory rape, as both boys were under the age of consent. So, not enough evidence for them to be found guilty of rape or sexual assault, but plenty for her to be found guilty. Still, that is South Africa. Far away, right? And yes, sometimes I really hate my editors (I hasten to add - other editors - not here).
Trawling the net for related news stories, I came across this gem. Yet another judge basically blaming the victim for being sexually assaulted. "The judge pointed out the victim and her friend were dressed in tube tops, no bras, and high heels and noted they were wearing plenty of makeup." F*cking excuse me?! Come on, Justice Dewar, the whole idea of No Means No hasn't made it to Manitoba yet? We all know Canadians are a bit slow on the uptake and there is absolutely nothing to do in Winnipeg apart from drink and screw, but that is just freaking ridiculous. The hundred or so people who attended the rally demanding his resignation obviously agreed, though, being Canadians, it was a very polite protest. Still comfortably ignorable, as it didn't happen here. Easier to say "Not our problem."
"On February 18, 2011, the U.S. House of Representatives voted to bar Planned Parenthood health centers from all federal funding for birth control, cancer screenings, HIV testing, and other lifesaving care." Oh, yeah, this is a touch closer to home, isn't it. Like right on your doorstep close. Simply because the clinics provide abortions - after counselling sessions - all the good they do stops getting funded. Planned Parenthood clinics, being free to all people, actually catch HIV, HPV, breast and cervical cancer early enough to make a significant difference in people's lives. Not something to make a political football out of, you would have thought. Sadly, the politicians thought otherwise.
To me, the biggest point that comes out of these three stories, the one that connects them, is not so much that the people in positions of authority think that their morality is the only acceptable one. That happens everywhere, whenever people are granted power over others. It is annoying, but something that we simply have to live with.
But the sheer arrogance of the people we rely on to make and enforce the laws of the land assuming that a woman's reproductive ability, her appearance, mode of dress and right to choose as she will is something that old white guys (predominantly) should have the slightest say in puts me into a total rage.
I'll be totally honest, I personally consider abortion a sin, there is really no other word, unless there are special circumstances - like rape. And my opinion means precisely jack sh*t. It is easy for me to say that - I don't have to carry, care for and raise the baby, I am just some random guy on the net.
But an even bigger sin, to me, is to refuse a woman her choice. Her body, her rules, her right. It is a no brainer, the very foundation of human rights. To remove, or make harder the right of choice for any person should be grounds for the instant dismissal of any public figure, be it a judge, a congressman or a president.
A woman's body is hers. It does not belong to Congress, or the legal system, or whatever male she happens to be with at the time. The only one who has any damned say at all should be her. End of story.
Sorry for the rant mode, but this whole situation really pisses me off.
I just want to say thank you.
Thank you ^^ really, i really appreciate men like you
You might also like to know, a Georgia legislator I proposing a bill that would make miscarriages a felony. A FELONY. And unless the woman can PROVE that no (unspecified) "human involvent" caused it, she would face life in prison or the death penalty. So basically, guilty before proven innocent.
But the part that gets me the most, is that miscarriages just happen sometimes. Like, REALLY?!?!
I saw that. It is scary, but so rock f*ckingly stupid it will die in comittee, thank god (or whatever diety you prefer).
Still in a total rage over this. Someone should propose mandatory vasectomies, just to see what happens.
That is revolting. It is blatant hatred of women.
... I might have to sit down. Those examples were just heartbreaking.
How did you hear about the bill? Through an unbiased source or a pro-choice source? A lot of pro-choice people saw the bill and focused on the "miscarriages...illegal..." parts and didn't fully understand the rest of it. No offense to pro-choicers (I'm pro-choice too), I just know that information gets warped by both sides of this debate.
Basically, the bill says that if a woman does something to intentionally cause a miscarriage(they used an example of a woman who paid someone several hundred dollars to beat her up and cause a miscarriage), she can be found guilty. A woman who has a miscarriage does not have to provide proof that the miscarriage was natural or otherwise legal unless someone makes an allegation against her. Even then, most judges wouldn't find her guilty if she couldn't prove it, only if it could be proved that she intentionally made her body lose the fetus.
Ideally, of course, all babies would be born into safe, loving families, who could afford to care for them. Until that Utopia happens, birth control must be handed out like candy. And if people try to block that, which they do, EVERYWHERE, then abortions are going to happen. And if they are going to happen they need to be legal and safe.
It seems like such a no-brainer.
I just do not get it.
Thanks, MM, for speaking out.
In the south of Mexico, several women went to jail because a judge accused them of "accidental murder" for having a misscariage. Human stupidity has no limits, specialy if its involved with politics and power.
Want to hear another kicker? Title X was eliminated by the house, which is the only federally funded family planning program. They give money to independent clinics, including Planned Parenthood, that provide family planning services at minimal or no cost, and "By law, Title X funds may not be used in programs where abortion is a method of family planning."(straight from the US Dept. of Health and Human Services website)
/Government money already cannot be used for abortion./
If the clinic provides abortion services, it is either out of their own pocket, or the patient's burden. I am vehemently pro choice, but Title X has nothing to do with abortion.
And thank you so much for giving this issue the recognition this deserves. I've had a stomach ache since I heard the new, I just can't believe America just lost 100 years of social progress. Not only is this second-classing half the population based on their sex, it's targeting women with low incomes, making them even less likely to finish school or hold a job. In developing countries, access to birth control has allowed women to stay in school, begin a career, start a business, have children if or when they want to, then become a source of wealth and improvement in their community. It works. Check out this site. http://www.girleffect.org/video Family Planning care is a GLOBAL IMPERATIVE. The Unites States, the pioneers of democracy and freedom, are eliminating that imperative?
Just checked it out, thanks Brachiopod, and that is even more horrific.
Spread the word. Sign the petitions. Ask questions - your congressman is supposed to represent your views, not his (or her) own obsessions and hangups. Get people up to speed on the issue. Family, friends, aquaintances of both sexes. There is not one single MAN, who deserves the title, would support this crap, so don't miss them out.
This crap shall not stand. Ever. It is body slavery, pure and simple. We should NOT have to be doing this crap in 2011.
And sorry to the readers who like my lighter stuff. As you might just be able to tell, this is something that REALLY pisses me off.
Its way cool to see a guy so passionate about something women struggle with daily. I’ll agree it’s really sad when a person of power takes their individual opinions, force feeds it others & has the nerve to call it justice. The thing that sets this great nation apart for the rest is, if we don’t like it, we have it in our power to do something about it. So let’s change what we don’t agree with. Make your elected officials accountable for what they do. GET INVOLVED people!!
I don't think anyone "likes" abortion. It's not something likable. However, I'm glad that is exists and is safe (in the vast majority of cases) and legal.
Oh yes. I don't really approve of it, like I said, but that is just my problem. One of the things I disagree with my friends on and one of the countless things I have an opinion on with no real experience!
If an abortion is needed, or indeed desired by a woman, that is her choice and I want it done safely, legally and cleanly as possible in a place where it is done with a bit of dignity, or at least the minimum indignity that doctors can manage. To protect her, more than anything else.
Yes!! This is one of the best posts I've read on Guyspeak. Informative, enlightening and compassionate - it definitely evoked a few emotions while I was reading it.
A little unrelated, but on a similar theme, this is why i left the Roman Catholic Church. Considering it's history and even today some of their practices are very anti-women. (I am from Ireland) Their radical and imposing views of marriage, contraception, abortion, sex and even once viewing giving BIRTH as 'unclean' and could not return to mass unless they had been "churched" (blessed) . It is just maddening. MADDENING.
They didn't make abortion illegal or shut down PP. They just changed it so that people wouldn't be indirectly supporting something they didn't believe in. Though our tax dollars weren't being used by PP to directly fund abortions, our money was being used to fund the other parts of PP, and thereby freeing money they would have spent on that to go toward the abortions. We pretty much were paying for abortions. I'm pretty sure if you found out your tax dollars were being used to fund something you didn't believe in, you would want it to stop, too. Imagine your money was being used to support the people who fought to defund PP in the first place. You'd be mad, right? You'd want that agency to be defunded, right?
This bill in no way takes away a woman's right to have an abortion. Planned Parenthood is still open and still free to perform as many abortions as they want to. The only difference is that they now have to get their money from people who actually want to give it to them.
Ok here goes, I'm being noisy, but you know what, it's time to be noisy.
PP is a non-profit that provides family planning, including but not limited to yearly physicals, birth control, cancer screening, STI care ranging from testing to antibiotics to distribution of condoms, comprehensive sexual health education, and fertility consulting. To those who do not have regular health care they are able to provide basic medical care unrelated to sexual health (nutrition, strep tests, etc.) Their first and foremost job is to protect the lives of young women, men, and families who are unable to get basic reproductive and general health care anywhere else. Abortion, as many people have already mentioned, is a service they offer, but not without extensive evaluation, counseling, discussion, and consideration of alternatives. It's not like aborting a pregnancy is an easy decision, physically emotionally, or mentally. It's not something anyone wants to do ever, particularly since society is so good about making patients who have to make that hard decision hide in their own pain.
PP, and all other Title X funded clinics (many of which, including my own clinic, do not even provide abortions) SAVE LIVES. Including many young men and women I speak to and live with every day. Friends who got drunk and needed Plan B (which by the way is contraception not abortion. look it up.) Friends who didn't know that using a condom with oil-based lube would break. I'm a sexual health peer educator, I see kids get pregnant, or make a mistake they didn't know they were making because they didn't have access to proper health care before the event. I send them to clinics, get them access to birth control they couldn't afford without Title X (it's free at our teen clinic thanks to Title X,) get them tested, and hand out condoms I wouldn't be able to distribute WITHOUT TITLE X.
This issue is bigger than abortion. It's not about abortion. This is about the lives of my generation. This is about making sure my generation is not pregnant until we are good and ready. This is about a generation without HIV. This is about living in a world where men and women have families if and when they are good and ready. All men and women, not just rich ones.
So sure, make this about abortion if you want. But then imagine someone without health insurance. Then imagine their daughter gets a boyfriend. Then imagine she has no sex ed at her school. If a free clinic is available, she can get birth control, condoms, counseling, support, respect, and information.
If not, well, she might think having sex standing up will prevent her from getting pregnant, and who would correct her? If she doesn't know how to use a condom, who would tell her? If she chooses abstinence, who would tell her what non-intercourse behaviors still put her at risk? And say she gets pregnant, what are her chances of graduating high school, or being able to afford college? What are the chances the guy will be there to help her? (They stay sometimes, I believe that. But I also know a teen mom who goes to school with 100 or so other teen moms. Very few of the fathers are in the picture.)
These clinics need everything they can get. They, like every other part of our society are struggling to stay afloat. Just how many people do you think have the money to donate to non-profits right now? If Title X disappears, so will the clinics, and the first to go will be the clinics in poor or rural areas, where they're needed most.
I'm so happy to see all the support in these comments. Keep it up. And for the love of whatever you love, keep Title X.
Brachiopod - drop me your email in a question to me please. would like to talke to you personally for a few.
Planned Parenthood is not evil, but it's not good either. It continually skirts inspection, breaks the law, and performs unsafe abortions to get around laws. Planned Parenthood directors have admitted that it's commonplace to aid sex traffickers in avoiding detection while getting services for their girls (who are usually underage and unwilling). Planned Parenthood refused to submit to the inspections that every other health service provider must undergo. While defunding might not be the best way to go, it's clear that something has to be done.
Where did you find these "facts?"
Sorry, I was replying to the comment below from user "Name." I thought it would appear below his or her comment. It seems pretty random just sitting at the bottom of everything. I was wondering where he or she got his or her facts regarding Planned Parenthood. They seem a little fishy.
"Planned Parenthood is not evil, but it's not good either. It continually skirts inspection, breaks the law, and performs unsafe abortions to get around laws. Planned Parenthood directors have admitted that it's commonplace to aid sex traffickers in avoiding detection while getting services for their girls (who are usually underage and unwilling). Planned Parenthood refused to submit to the inspections that every other health service provider must undergo. While defunding might not be the best way to go, it's clear that something has to be done."
I would wholeheartedly agree that abortion should remain completely legal and lawful, as all should have the right to chose. I do however thing that funding coming down from a federal level for such a program as planned parenthood is a little much. If state legislatures wished to implement the program in their state, then power to them for providing the extra level of social care. However, to tax the entire nation because so many women get pregnant due to plain irresponsibility is heinous, abhorring, and somewhat tyrannical. As far as the cancer screenings, I would also think that more in the responsibility of the individuals than the social system. If people stopped filling their bodies with such toxic and cancer causing materials and ensured they met their daily intake levels of the important vitamins and minerals such as D, E or phosphorous, then cancer rates would drop off the table. Perhaps if people took care of themselves I would support including something like planned parenthood as part of the social system, but at this point it is too centralized, too inefficient, too costly and unneeded for, my guess only, probably 80% of the population who does not directly benefit from such a program.
You get zero argument from me on the eating and stop putting crap into you front - eating healthy and making the right choices is one of my big things. They say there is no one more zealous than a convert!
The problem is, the right to choose means absolutely nothing, just empty useless words, if you simply can't afford your choice. First trimester abortions run from $500 to $1200. Second trimester cost significantly more. I know folk who would have to save for years to have that sort of cash. No different from you or I, simply one paycheck or one accident away from disaster. Not folk on welfare, just folk who earn about as much as they need, no matter how hard they try to get ahead. Folk who have to chose every month between eating and health insurance - which doesn't usually cover pregnancies anyway.
Is it not better to take $25 from every taxpayer to cover it and reduce the number of $450 hammers the army buys, rather than have a raft of unwanted children? Bearing in mind that PP and similar clinics also provide contraceptives at below cost, STD screening and education for the same cost per taxpayer, that has got to be a bargain.
To use a side example, for a second - my lady, like many people, is a pacifist by both inclination and religion. Yet can she withhold the proportion of her taxes that pay for the military? She tries, the IRS are all over her ass. It happens every year.
There are times when, to be truly civilised, a society has to pay out to protect itself. This is one of them.
Dang - sorry for the essay!
that's why i never prosecuted my rapist at the age of 18----i'm still trying to locate him-----it's bad enough when something so violent and controlling devastates you,and you can't shower enough to get anything from him off of you---then for these sobs' to blame it on you? that's a crime, and there's no statute of limitations on it. thank you my mystery man
Thank You, so, so much for this post. It's lovely and refreshing to see a caring, pro-female post on the net by a MAN. I love guy speak, and I love the blogs, but this is the best thing I've read on it thus far. Thank You so very much again and please keep writing!
I am going to share this on facebook.
I'm sadden that the free country that so admired by others is becoming a sad state that belies the belief it was build in. By denying women their rights, the laws (which should have been to protect) is now going against the human rights our founding fathers worked so hard to gain.
I'm a feminist and I'm all for laws that protects women as much as it protects men. I have a mind to want to don my knight in shining armor outfit, weilds a huge bloodied axe and come to these cases' rescue. Human decency and common sense has declined so much that it's affecting even the Houses, it seems. I do agree with Silkysly, this is a free country where the people make the law, so the people needs to get more involve in the making process, not just let the law gets in people's way =.='
Wow.. Thank you MM. Thank you.
I have to say that for the last few of hours i have been hooked by the impressive posts on this blog. Keep up the wonderful work.
I have to say that for the last couple of hours i have been hooked by the amazing articles on this blog. Keep up the wonderful work.
Greet stuff thank yo for the information