Okay, say you meet the girl of your DREAMS. After two years of dating, you find out that she was born with a vagina AND a vestigial penis. However, she had the penis removed at birth. She can still have babies. What would you do?

Reformed Player says:

What would I do? She's the woman of my DREAMS, right? The absolute perfect woman for me and me only?

If she told me she had a vestigial penis removed at birth, I'd sit her down and, with tears in my eyes, tell her that I was born with a prehensile tail that my father hacked off when I was three years old because I kept trying to dangle off the ceiling fan. Then we'd embrace each other and reaffirm our love. Truly, we're two people meant to be together.

I get tons of questions from people worried about what their partner will think of their past. We all have secrets. Those who don't are really, really boring people, and boring people are usual neither introspective nor extrospective. But I find that when a boyfriend freaks out about a girlfriend's past, be she a former slattern or mutant or whatever, his freaking out is a reflection of his own insecurities and prejudices. It's his problem and his alone. That sort of guy is always going to be a few rungs down on the Ladder of Self Awareness from you.

If I dated a woman who had corrective surgery in her past, and she felt the need to share it, then I wouldn't care. And to specifically address your question, the penis is made from clitoral tissue. You know, males and females have very few physical differences before the developmental stage known as "sexual dimorphism." Which explains why I have these USELESS NIPPLES. (Although, I'm the kind of guy who likes them bitten here and there. I understand there are men who do not like that. But it's not really something we talk about at the brodeo.)

Gal Pal says:
Write a bestselling novel about it and then cast Mario Lopez to play you in the made-for-TV-movie. Use the piles of money you make to have a happily ever after with the woman of your dreams. 

Do guys really make fun of other guys for being circumcised or not?

Funny Guy says:

If it comes up in a drunken conversation, almost certainly. But guys will make fun of other guys for nearly any piece of personal information shared in a vulnerable moment. That shit be HILARIOUS.

But believe it or not, guys don't routinely talk about the state of their penises with one another, despite what the popularity of the phrase "how's it hangin'?" may suggest to the contrary (Bonus fun fact: the term's actual origin dates back to the Civil War, and referred not only to the penis, but to any cannonballed appendages that may be dangling from the body [Hidden Secret Super Fact: I made that up, in the hopes of ending this paragraph with as confusing a series of punctuation marks as possible.].).

Oh, and in case you were wondering: yes, we will always side with whichever penis version we have. Call it biased, call it transparent, but you just can't go against your own dude. That's low treason of the highest order.

Gal Pal says:
I don't know how guys play it, but I think you should gently tease this uncircumcised guy and see how he reacts. Life's way too short to be with someone who doesn't appreciate genital humor. 

After 10 years, my hubby still keeps pushing to have a threesome. Now I'm pretty open-minded and do a lot for him, but I have made it clear that is one thing that will never happen. How do I make him stop bugging me about it?

Mystery Man says:

Easy! Tell him that you will do it but that it has to be with his sister. That should shut him up.

Seriously though, your husband is playing with fire: Unless both parties are eager and very comfortable about having a menage a trois terrible things can happen. Jealousy being the number one culprit. Ground rules need to be laid out and followed to a tee or divorce or much worse can ensue. Good luck!

Gal Pal says:
Or tell him you tried it last weekend and it wasn't your thing. 

What are the top three things that tend to annoy men about women the most?

Girl's BFF says:

While there are definitely more than three things that annoy men the most about women I'm sure I can narrow that down to three:

1) Nagging. I think women are born with the nag gene. So it's hard to blame them, but still, how is it possible to find something to complain about regarding everything? Take a break sometimes and enjoy life, toots.

2) Uncanny ability to refuse to be wrong about anything, ever. There is this belief that men think we're right about everything, yet most women make it an eternal quest to ensure that we know we're wrong. You can see how that might be annoying. Especially since I don't think we care about being right as much as you all care that you're not wrong. Re-read that a few times and it will start to make sense.

3) Passive aggressiveness. This is perhaps the most annoying characteristic any one individual can possess regardless of gender, however, women seem to practice this like they're always getting ready for Olympic-level competition.