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So, How Long is Too Long?

So, How long is too long?

Nothing like getting an open-ended question to inspire a specific blog about things being too long. Please let me know if you agree with me in terms of what's just too damn long. Now of course all of this is up to great debate and personal preference. But I think I've laid out a fair and reasonable hand on all these matters. Think I'm wrong? Please share below

Let's explore.
Too long for...


  1. Giving a blowjob? Over 18 minutes.

  2. Going down on her? 18 minutes

  3. Wang size? Over 9 inches

  4. Nipple height? One Hershey Kiss (base to top)

  5. Not Kissing? 4 hours (couples dating less than 3 months)

  6. Not Kissing? 10 hours (couples dating more than 3 months)

  7. Not Kissing? 1 day (relationships over 4 years)

  8. Going Sexless*? 3 days (couples dating less than 3 months)

  9. Going Sexless? 6 days (couples dating more than 3 months)

  10. Going Sexless? 11 days (relationships over 4 years)

  11. Toothbrush replacement? 120 days

  12. Winter jacket replacement? 3 years

  13. Oil change? 3001 miles

  14. Not calling your Mom/Dad? 11 days

  15. Changing your bed sheets?15 days

  16. Not responding to an annoying E-vite? 21 days after it was originally sent

  17. Not meeting his friends? 41 days

  18. Not saying I love you? 13 months and 1 day

  19. Waiting for a blind date without a text or anything? 19 minutes

  20. Waiting for a blind date who's "running late"? 29-34 minutes

  21. Being together without an engagement ring? Truly circumstantial. Somewhere between 2.5 years and never.

  22. To avoid online dating after your last stint resulted in 3 terrible dates and a mild broken heart? 91 days

  23. Eating unrefrigerated hummus? 17 hours

  24. Vote in the US? 4 years and 1 day


Follow me, Amit "Funny Guy" Wehle on Twitter @AmitWehle

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5 Comments

user-pic

18 minutes of blowjob! Holy cow, I mean I've never actually timed myself at it but that sounds like a freakishly long time

user-pic

Pretty sure I once performed a 22 minute blowjob. Unspeakably not pleasant.

user-pic

18 minutes of oral sex?! Male or female, you'd need jaws of steel to last that long! As for not kissing and going sexless, married religious Jews follow ritual purity laws that don't allow them to have sex, or depending how religious they are even touch, for 12+ days at a time. (It's a minimum of 5 days while a woman is on her period, even if she has a shorter period, followed by 7 clean days.) I'm told that it certainly helps keep the marriage fresh and healthy.

user-pic

Pretty sure I've given a 30+ minute BJ. :|

Also, the oil change every 3,000 miles is a myth - you can actually go up to 10,000 miles.

Lastly, I for sure thought that said "Eating unrefrigerated humans".

user-pic

Definitely given a 45 mn + BJ. 18 minutes sounds just about perfect!

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