Same as with any other guy, you just ... Wait, what?!

Almost dream guy? How close is almost? What is his lack? Can it be fixed? Why are you thinking of trading down, which you almost definitely will be? Going to let you into a little secret here: Your dream guy does not exist!

Guys are human too, and every last one of them will have something about them that annoys or irritates you to a greater or lesser extent. Just like you will to them. You are being somewhat dumb and unrealistic here. Still, if you must, do it the usual way. Face to face.

I don't know, MM. "Almost" comes in different flavors. I've dated guys who I thought were completely perfect - until they cheated on me. That's a big "almost." Now, if this is a case of a minor "almost" (hair color, height, Thomas the Tank bedspread), I still think she should break up with him...because she clearly doesn't possess the maturity to appreciate him.

Yes, you are. While there are plenty of television shows and random jokes floating around about men bouncing on a chick after they find out her mother is big, chances are that will not happen. While we do assume that you might start looking like your mother, we aren't going to assume it's going to happen anytime soon. Or think that, generally, that it's a dealbreaker. 

Sure, we all want our women to look at 50 how they did at 20, but we also know that's just not going to happen. So most of us don't delude ourselves at an early of worrying about something we can't really predict for the future.

I'm not sure about you, but I never introduce a guy to my parents until I've been dating him for a good while and am quite confident in his character and devotion to me. So from my vantage, this should never be an issue. If you've thoroughly vetted a man and determined him a good guy, you have nothing to worry about. If he loves you, he'll love your family - and that's nothing to be embarrassed about.

The only head you need to worry about is yours, because somehow, you've lodged it deep within the confines of your ass.

Let me turn your question around on you: if this woman you love admitted that she had deep feelings for you and wanted to be with you forever, and so didn't want to cheat, but there's this guy she knows with the magic tongue she just can't resist...exactly how angry and hurt would you be? And how much credence would you give to her protestations that she loves you? Because that's exactly how angry and hurt she'll be.

Head is five minutes, love is forever. It doesn't matter if this girl can suck a ping-pong ball through a drinking straw. If you really love your lady, it's well past time to walk away.

"Head is five minutes, love is forever" should be an ad for Kay Jewelers. Love it, Dan! I have to wonder - if this guy spent less time pining after some other woman's mouth and more time teaching his girlfriend what he likes, wouldn't everyone involved win? Alas, some guys never learn! But one good oral sex answer deserves another...

Let's put it this way, if the vagina was a sandwich on a deli menu, it wouldn't be the top seller. Nobody in their right mind would forgo the Turkey Club or BLT and order a large, wet, hairy vagina.

BUT, because vaginas live in between your legs they are alluring and attractive things. Men like eating p*ssy because it's a woman's Holy Sexual Grail. When a man (or woman) is face to face with the mighty V they feel like Indiana Jones, holding Jesus' goblet in "The Last Crusade." In other words, it takes a lot to get to that dang thing; we've crossed deserts, fought off snakes, tanks, Sultans and evil Germans. Your vagina is the sexual finish line; it represents unlocking the key and making things whole.

But, I don't want to paint a one sided picture: eating P for P's sake is attractive in that it makes the vagina owner, hot, heavy and horny. It's beautiful to be able to bring someone to a place of pleasure. And, there is personal pleasure in knowing how to work the bells and whistles of a vagina. It's a complex body part and learning how to "eat" it with skill, can be as gratifying as learning how to properly eat a hard-shell crab. You see: Good things come to those who... eat?

I believe the poet Alfred, Lord Tennyson has some advice for you: "Theirs not to reason why / Theirs but to do and die." In other words, lie there and enjoy it!

Yes, it is all right. Better than all right, in fact. Affection is a beautiful thing. You are in love and you want to express it - more power to you. The human body needs touch; we thrive on it and suffer without it. I'm sure you've heard the stories of babies in orphanages who develop physical and psychological problems due to deprivation of human touch. have also shown that premature babies who are held and massaged by human hands grow faster than those who get less touch.

My opinion is this: if you feel something, show it. If your heart tells you to be affectionate, be affectionate, in word and in deed, openly and proudly and with gusto. Yes, you risk looking like a fool, but if you get in the habit of suppressing yourself, you will miss out on a lot of joy in life. Affection also comes back to you: the more you give, the more you get. 

Consider this: How many people do you think lie on their deathbed and say, "Man, I wish I hadn't been so affectionate with the people I love?"

My initial response was to suggest that you limit your cuddle-sprees to moments where your guy seems relaxed and open to them. (In my experience, guys can feel smothered by too much hand-holding and smooching.) But after reading Cary's beautiful answer, I change my mind. Hug him, kiss him, love him and make him your very own. Group hug, please??

Well, I'm not a father, but the universal rule of teenagers throughout time is that if you tell them not to do something, they're going to do it. That said, you shouldn't let her date just because her other friends are doing it. If you feel like she's responsible, 13-going-on-14 is a reasonable age to start dating. Granted, she shouldn't be staying out until all hours of the night. So if you set curfews, and know who she's going out with, I think it's okay. Also, encourage her to go out in groups. 13 is usually the age when you go on group dates to the movies or putt-putt or whatever. It's not the age where you need to be alone with your boyfriend in his bedroom for extended periods of time.  

On the other hand, she's not missing anything if she waits a couple years to start dating. The important thing is whether or not she's ready for dating and peer pressure and all that stuff. It's a cliche to say that kids today are growing up too fast, but, seriously kids today are growing up too fast. Sure, I was obsessed with sex at age 13. But dating wasn't a part of my life at all. (Being a nerd might have had something to do with that.) 

The important thing is to show that you trust her to make the right choices. Arm her with the knowledge of the dangers of sex (STDs, pregnancy, etc.), but also show her that you understand that she has now reached the age where dating and boys are a part of her life. If you set boundaries, communicate, and keep an eye on her dating life, she is more likely to make the right decisions instead of rebelling and eventually ending up on "Teen Mom 3." 

Two letters: N.O. Your job is to be her mother. Your job is to be the bad guy. Your job is to stop her from doing all the stupid things her friends are doing. Your job is to let her be furious with you now and thank you later. If she wants to hang out (SUPERVISED) with a group of girls and guys, that's fine. But I say no one-on-ones or closed-door sessions until she's MUCH older. Do the hard thing and just say no.

That's it for this week. Thanks for playing, guys and girls! And save the date for the next GuySpeak live chat during the Oscars!