You can tell the popularity of a thing by how many ways there are to say it. Case in point: sex. Intercourse. The dirty deed. Hundreds of ways to say it, and most of them pretty horrible. Here, for your amusement, are the 11 expressions for sex that I consider the worst of a largely bad lot.
11) Make whoopee - The word whoopee makes me think of a whoopee cushion, which makes me think of farting, and the last thing I want to think about--or do--during sex is fart.
10) Hide the salami - Friend, if your penis looks like salami, please get thee to a doctor, stat.
9) Gettin' jiggy wit it - I've used this one before, but then 1998 called and told me to knock it off.
8) Make the beast with two backs - This expression might have gotten Shakespeare laid, but you aren't Shakespeare, nerdlinger.
7) Knock boots - Who has sex with their shoes on? Where are you doing it, in an alley?
6) Bump uglies - Hey, speak for yourself! Mine isn't ugly. Yeah, okay, mine is ugly, but hers isn't.
5) Pop her cherry - Ugh. I know it means deflowering someone, not sex in general, but I still hate it. Always have. A vulgar phrase, and if I think that, you know it's bad.
4) Get some stank on the hangdown - No comment.
3) Coitus - Funny word, but unless you are Masters, Johnson or Kinsey, don't use it.
2) Hit it - When someone says, "I'd hit it," I want to hit them, and not in a sexual way.
1) Make love - GAH! Worst. Expression. EVER. What the hell does it even mean? There are many things that can be made during sex--a baby, a point, trouble--but love? No.
BONUS: Expressions for sex that make me laugh:
Pork
Hump
Diddle
Squat jumps in the cucumber patch
Get some poontang
Nookie
Tumble
Park the yacht in hair harbor
Tap dat ass
Roll in the hay
The horizontal bop
The matrimonial polka
How about you? Which expressions for sex make you cringe? Which ones amuse you?
Don't be shy now.
Sex
I agree with 'hit', but 'nail' and 'tap' are just as cringe-worthy
One's that make me laugh:
- WooHoo (from the sims)
- Tumble in the jungle
- Vigorous Hugs
Also, I think Sheldon can also be allowed to utter 'coitus' due to his lack of experiences with big bangs.
I cringe at "I'd hit that," "I'd do her," "bang," and "pork."
"Afternoon delight" makes me laugh. :-)
•doing the nasty
•dip’n the wick
•screw’n
•f**king
•hizzit the skizzins
-score
-christening
-quicky
-business time
-getting busy
-Injection of Dr. (guys name) two ball compound
-nooner
'Business time' - ahh, sweet weekly love ;)
Wednesday night, aw yeah!
Yuck, those are aweful. Thankfully, I haven't heard any worse ones.
There's a Bloodhound Gang song that refers to the act as "parking the beef bus in tuna town, if you know what I mean". I both wince and giggle every time I hear that.
Sheldon Cooper has rights to coitus too!! It'd be completely insane if he said much else!
cringeworthy:
get your groove on (most don't refer to the dance)
any rap reference to slammin the "nappy dugout"
intercourse (too clinical)
shagging (too British for us US Yanks!)
The beast with two backs thing is a really nasty expression which Iago uses deliberately to enrage the father of the girl involved. Don't understand why *anyone* would think it was an appealing way to describe the act.
As for 'making love'...I take your point, but it's a useful expression. There's a difference between all of the funny or vulgar expressions (or just the straightforward 'having sex') and 'making love,' which we use when we want to evoke an experience motivated by love. It's also a French expression, which might be why it sounds weird to some people. What would you replace it with?
Porkin'.
I think being intimate with someone replaces have sex with them.
Hey Cary, what about a list of best terms for sex?
Boink.
Oh God, I actually use some of these lol
I say:
I'd hit that
Get it
f*ck(ing) *in my defence, this is one of my most used words in general....okay, that's a really bad defence huh?
And me and mine fondly refer to it as "business time" because of this one little song by flight of the concords. http://youtu.be/WGOohBytKTU (seriously watch it lol)
singing ensues!
I'm voting this one as THE best euphemism for sex EVER!!!
I will always have a soft spot for "roll in the hay" because of this scene in Young Frankenstein:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqClWdOcWog
i cringe at
bang
Get some stank on the hangdown
f*cking
amuse me
horiziontal tango
Welcome to http://www.buy3buy.com
Hi,Cheap wholesale NFL jersey,NHL jersdey,MLB jerseys,NBA Jerseys, UGG boots ,Christian Louboutins Pumps,Nike air Jordan shoes, Nike dunks SB shoe,Nike Shox shoe. Nike shoes with discount jersey, High quality T-shirts,ED hardy t-shirts,ED Hardy hoodies, ED hardy JeansGUCCI shoes,LV Handbag,Chanel Handbag……
Air jordan(1-24)shoes $38,Nike shox(R4,NZ,OZ,TL1,TL2,TL3) $35,Handbags(Coach lv fendi d&g) $38,Tshirts (Polo ,ed hardy,lacoste) $16……
Accept credit card and paypal and westernunion,band wire.
SAFE and FAST
welcome to http://www.buy3buy.com