It's flirting. And I only agree to a back rub if I'm honestly interested in the guy. I have male plutonic friends who have never once offered me a backrub, nor I them. And if they did, alarm bells would be ringing that my plutonic friend isn't happy with just being plutonic any longer.

It's a fine form of flirting and it's a good excuse to touch and break that distance barrier while flirting. But unless you're a trained massage therapist and I am paying you to massage my back or your in major back pain and a friend is genuinely trying to ease that pain, in my books, there's no way it could be just a neutral friendly gesture. Anyone who thinks otherwise is lying or sweetly naive.

I am generally of the opinion that unless a male/female duo are biologically related or currently engaged in a relationship, any and every form of communication instigated by the male component is undertaken with the thought in mind that it might be possible to have sex with the female component. This is just the unfortunate truth: the mind of the single male is like a scale, constantly evaluating every eligible (and often ineligible) female in the man's life and ordering his interactions with those females according to a rank, from "Casual Boning Eminent" to "Ball Shriveling Bitch." This is why women hate skanky chicks but guys are decidedly less adverse to their presence: it's all about physical escalation. The backrub is a great example of this - no matter what the female or male says about it, the male is doing it because it involves touching her. Plain and simple.

I'm engaged, and even when I want to get some I suggest a backrub. Because of the relationship I can be more open about the sexual ulterior motive - single guys will hide it til the end.

So, I guess to conclude...I'm just as cynical as you, Swaim. Cheers.

Okay, nobody has answered your question, and I have a soft spot for 'the funny guy'...here goes; I've been in the 'back-rub' situation a few times, and I have found:
If it's 2 platonic friends, and they both mutually are in the understanding that they are platonic friends, then it's just that a nice gesture, no need to read into it. Hence Answer B
If the people kind of know each other, let's say from school, depending on how the topic of a back rub comes up, there could be ulterior motives. I was at a party with friends and someone suggested a group backrub, (sit in a circle, boy/girl/boy/girl), a guy I had a secret crush on specifically asked me to sit in front of him. The next day my friend told me backrub guy wanted to be more than friends (hello? why didn't he tell ME that?). Social situation where people are feeling friendly....Answer A
Someone that you only know on an acquaintance level, from work, or a first date, you don't really know them that well, and they offer you a back rub, then potentially creepy....Answer C

So, go get your rub on....or not.

I feel like there is no definite answer. It completely depends on who it is. I have a really close friend at work that trades massages with me all the time, but there is absolutely nothing sexual/flirty about it. For me, touching (within certain boundaries, of course) is sort of a way of showing I am comfortable with someone or that I care about them, and just about everyone I am friends with is the same, so it's not usually/necessarily sex driven. Also, I tend to be friends/close with mostly all males, so flirting is hardly ever the first thought in my mind. I'd say it would only be creepy to me if it were from someone I obviously didn't know or like.

All of the above. Backrubs are pretty awesome all around, so I'm fine with them as a flirting tactic. I'm also fine with exchanging them platonically between good friends. In those situations, you know it's not flirting because you have already established your feelings towards each other (my girlfriends and I have even exchanged backrubs before. It's not a big deal.). I think we associate them with sex because most of the time, when you feel good because another person is touching you, it's in a sexual way. I don't think backrubs are sexual, but I think they remind us of sex. So that can be a blurry line sometimes. But basically, feeling good is awesome, so why limit yourself?
The only times they are bad are when it's someone creepy (backrubs aren't creepy, PEOPLE are creepy ;) . Then you should just shrug them off or run away. Or maybe, don't hang out with creepy people?

Ok as a guy who has given many (but never offered) backrubs if the guy is straight and single he has an ulterior motive to try for sex. I do not want to sound like a villain but it works, in fact there has only been one girl to receive the rub without anything extra and I am still working on that so the record is not blemished yet. Now the original premises of the backrub may be friendly but the interaction can always be made just a little more sensual and the requests increase in frequency.

I think backrubs are really only truly innocent if they're girl/girl or girl/gay guy.
I've given them to only the occasional male (apparently I have "magic fingers) only if they were in obvious pain, but for the most part, I'll ask my sister or a gay friend to work on my back if I need it. I have this weird hang-up about being touched--if I don't trust the person and they touch me in a quasi-sexual way I get a little freaked out.
That said, I would never let my best male friends give me a backrub. They are both straight, attractive, and single, but even though we've been friends for more than 15 years, that's a line I'm not willing to cross. Good backrubs are usually a precursor to getting nooky, as I found out the hard way, and I'm not willing to give up a friendship for a one-night stand.
If the romantic feelings go both ways, a backrub can be a good way to get things going. Otherwise it's a little uncomfortable if you know the guy's attracted to you and just looking for an excuse to touch you. I personally feel really guilty for leading someone on like that.

How many times can I say "creepy" before it becomes annoying and makes you discredit my opinion? Because I just said it exactly that many times, but you couldn't hear it because of all the stuff going on right now. Like, so much stuff, am I right?

So happy to finally come across this. I have a male friend, married, who today in conversation over the phone said to me, that he was hurting and could really use a back rub. I was really put off, surprised, and didn't know how to take it, so I said, sure, another time, you have a rain check.
I thought what we were sharing between us was platonic, but that comment really set be back. So much so that now I am afraid to answer any more texts or calls from him in the future.
I know a back rub in not just a back rub. My second child was started out with a back rub.
Where in this universe can a man and a woman be truly friends without crossing the line. I am really sad tonight. I really care for this person, very much. Hate to lose a friend, but don't want to compromise my values.

So happy to finally come across this. I have a male friend, married, who today in conversation over the phone said to me, that he was hurting and could really use a back rub. I was really put off, surprised, and didn't know how to take it, so I said, sure, another time, you have a rain check.
I thought what we were sharing between us was platonic, but that comment really set be back. So much so that now I am afraid to answer any more texts or calls from him in the future.
I know a back rub in not just a back rub. My second child was started out with a back rub.
Where in this universe can a man and a woman be truly friends without crossing the line. I am really sad tonight. I really care for this person, very much. Hate to lose a friend, but don't want to compromise my values.

It CAN be an innocent, friendly gesture, but if a heterosexual person of the opposite gender (I'm sure it totally works the same if you're gay, but I can't say), yes, chances are that it's flirting. Here's the thing with flirting, though: just because you're flirting with someone, does not mean that they are legally obligated to return the flirt. I am a big believer in honest, direct communication. If a guy isn't explicitly telling me that he's interested, then he gets the benefit of the doubt. I refuse to analyze his every action for his sake. If he wants something, he can damn well tell me. This means that if a guy whom I am not interested in gives me a backrub, I won't say no. Maybe I see what he's doing, maybe I don't, maybe I don't care, because hey, free backrub (the same applies to buying a girl a drink).
But by the way, the backrub does not exempt a person from personal-space rules. If you aren't in a place with the "friend" in question where touching is clearly okay, then yeah, it's creepy.

I am not really sure about this one... I might be the exception to the rule.. I have a female best friend, we are both single, and have acknowledged that while we find aspects of each other attractive, there is no "click" that has ever made us want to risk the friendship with intimacy. We do, however, occasionally rub each other's backs and arms. When we do, we always trade off equal time to make it seem like a business transaction (lol), and it doesn't seem like there is anything going on under the surface, but I think maybe we both secretly enjoy it more than we are willing to openly let on. Sometimes she looks right into my eyes and then we both look away.. It's almost as if we are both trying to avoid prolonged eye contact as if it would cause us to form deeper feelings. It all boils down to not wanting to jeopardize the existing relationship I think.

Personally, I just really like backrubs. Do guys have ulterior motives for offering them? Who cares! Just keep rubbing. That's right...a little to the left....

And no, I won't have sex with you. You can go home now.

I think back rubs between a male and a female (heterosexual) is def a flirty interaction. I can only speak from my own experience, but I have never traded backrubs with male family members because it just seems a bit too sensual to share with family.

As far as creepy goes, yes it can be very creepy. I once had a guy at school, who I barely spoke with in class, come up behind me and start rubbing my back. I totally froze up once I realized who it was. This was partly because he looks like a naked mole rat, but also because I associate it with sex, and he was not invited to touch me.

I will say that it is not just men who choose this method of flirting. I had a dream the other night that I gave the guy I am really into a backrub, and it ended exactly how I wanted it to. Now I am looking for the opportunity to make this particular dream real life ;) Women can have ulterior motives too.

In my experience, if a man that I'm not related to is touching me it pretty much means he wants to see me naked. Unless he's gay. Hetero men don't touch women they don't want to bone. At least in my experience.

I also shoot down a shit ton of "backrubs". I say that unless you went to massage school and actually know what your doing then go right ahead. If you have not, don't even think about touching me. I've had my back fucked up by guys who think they are "good" at it when they really aren't. Too much pressure jerk face!!

Not only is it creepy, it is annoying. I feel like the "friendly back-rub" is an in for a guy who has absolutely no game. It is so formulated to be smooth but it is actually just overdone and uncomfortable. Guys who want to give back-rubs are guys I would keep in the friend zone. I understand it is a way to engage in physical contact, but have a little more confidence and you will probably get a lot further.

Definitely A. I realize that it's a flirting tactic guys use, but hey, I flirt with my male friends anyway. And this way I get a massage out of it. I think it's just a fun way to spend a couple of minutes, plus it makes everybody feel good about themselves. What's the problem?

i'm going to say usually (A), but i'm not going to say it's an across the board certainty.I am sure that out there somewhere, are purely platonic hetero male and female friends who have known each other so long, that alot of the trust and physical bariers have been crossed, and it's like getting a back rub from family. I doubt it happens that often, but there's ALWAYS exceptions. and while i'm sure most guys giving the back rub would have know compunction with getting into the girls pants who's back they are rubbing, i think there is such a thing as relatively innocent flirting. especially between two people, and we all know someone like this, who is constantly flirting, as in flirtation is there primary form of communication with just about everyone. and i know guys and girls like this. then it could very well be a flirtatious backrub, but without any real intent.

also, while most theater people are perverts(most...? should i say all....? pretty much everything in the theater is about sex....), i've been in more than one show/company where the entire cast gave backrubs before shows and rehearsals. and while old creepy hippie men might enjoy rubbing the lower back of young actresses a little too much(i do believe that is pretty harmles, and mostly without intent, cause i'm talking so old viagra won't help, and they're just happy to be touching something young), and people may have some ultierior motives when it comes to who they stand by in the circle (whether it's because that person is hot or used to be a massage therapist, it's still an ulterior motive, lol) for the most part these group massages seem to be about releasing stress before the show, and building trust/ensemble relationships within the cast through touch.

that all said. even if it is flirtatious i don't think a woman should have to avoid or feel guilty about accepting a backrub, if it's not from a creeper, they are freely offering, and you owe them nothing for it. as for me, i'm a bit paranoid, and don't enjoy having people at my back. so i tend not to accept offers.

No non-sense relationship columnist Dan Savage wrote a great article about this so-called flirting tactic:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=5892

If a guy is willing to give me a back massage then I'm willing to have sex with him. That sounds kinda skanky, but honestly a back rub isn't something that a guy will just offer up in my experience.

I'm just going with creepy here. Unless, of course, we're ALREADY in an intimate situation - then properly used it can be seductive.

I'm going to say usually answer A. I don't think they intend it sometimes, but it can definitely count as flirting. Along with hugging, tickling and patting someones lower lower back (we are talking like belt loop territoty here). I was tempted to say C as well because I believe we can all recall a few times that it felt a little creepy. I'm not going to lie, I love backrubs. Thye are awesome after a long day at work. But I was washing dishes one day after closing the store and a co-worker came behind me and gave me a back rub. He didn't say anything he just walks up and does it. He has always been a touchy person so I just asume it's harmless behavior. After a few seconds I stopped enjoying the back rub and realized that he was pretty much trying to mount me. His stinking chin was hanging over my forehead and he had his freaking junk on my back. Shoulder touching isn't too bad in my opinion...rubbing your package on everybody is weird shit. You just don't do it. And just because I'm short and your Andre the Giant dossn't mean you can just feel me up, relaxing back rub or not. Needless to say he no longer does that.

As good as a backrub feels, I have never seen one *not* be a prelude to sex. Or at least the attempt at it.

Creepy Doll
http://tvrefill.com/2010/07/nightmare-baby/

Hmmp.It depends on how they do back rub. I have a friend that usually rub my back, its relaxing and I don't feel that his trying to flirt with me.:)

Hmmp.It depends on how they do back rub. I have a friend that usually rub my back, its relaxing and I don't feel that his trying to flirt with me.:)

hahahaha I had a friend at work who was gay and when I gave him a back rub through a hug goodbye he started flirting with me after that. Later on I found out he was bisexual and he dated a few women in the past before his current boyfriend. Now he likes me and I'm avoiding him at all costs lol. So yes, back rubs can be amazing but sometimes you have to be careful who you do it to because you could end up accidentally leading them on.

Well I have a guy friend, who is also my ex but things didn't work out and we just decide to become friends. He was actually my first love since like 10 years ago but we have very close for the past few years. at first we were friends w/ benefits for like 3 years when we first met, then I fell in love with him and realized 3 years later that he didn't care about me. So we didn't speak for another 4 years then he came back and asked for forgiveness and wanted to be serious. And thats where we actually dated but it didn't work out an remained friends instead. Anyway not to get off topic, I was in his car a few weeks ago and he asked me to massage his head. So i jumped on the back seat (him still being in the drivers seat) and massaged his head from the back so I can reach easily. Then I jokingly asked him to massage my arm and stretched it out to him. At first he was shy and said he didn't feel like it, then he said fine and jumped in the back seat to massage my arms. (he seemed a little shy tho while he was doing it). So then after he was done he asked if I would like him to massage him anywhere else and I said yes, the back of my neck bone. So he began massaging my neck an suddenly he said something that pushed me away. He said, "u know I'm a pervert massager" and I was like huhh?? And then he said it again. After a few min I told him that I was good now and moved away from him. (thinking he was thinking sexually). Not realizing that I was bothered by that, he asked me of he could massage my back and that he was now energized. And I politely said no and that it's ok and showed that I was bothered. After that he asked me what's wrong and of I'm ok and after few min realized tha it was what he said that bothered me, but I kept saying no no nothings bothering me and asked him to drop me off cause I had to go. So he said ok and apologized to me if he offended me and kept saying he was sorry. As he was dropping me off he told me he felt upset and I asked why. And he just said idk I just feel down right now. So I said oh well feel better and I left his car. Anyway I think he felt like an idiot for saying that whole pervert thing to me. Idk why the hell he said that.

Sorry I didn't realize this was a really long story I posted :/