For the life of me, I cannot comprehend why women don't understand the simplicity that is men. We are but transparent creatures with simple needs and even more simple desires. And like all creatures searching for love in all the wrong places, we need motivation.
Since I'm in such a sharing mood, I figure that I'll help you women out in that regard. You see, motivation, not unlike the daffodil (actually they're not alike at all), comes in all shapes and sizes. But when dealing with the fairer sex, there is only one real motivation for men: that good lovin'.
For real for real, this is why it is unwise to bed your suitor on the first night. Now, it is wholly impossible that he will not think any less of you. Heavens no! All men don't view first night jumpoffs as baby batter packers. It was the great thinker and auteur, André 3000 of Outkast fame who said, "I don't give a sh*t about giving it up on the first night, it just let's me know, she knows what she wants out of life."
Indeed.
However, despite knowing that we're dealing with a woman who likes to take the bull by the horns - no pun intended - first night loving also removes some of the desire to get to know the woman who had piqued our interest, probably no less than 30 minutes prior. Once again, motivation. You see the lack of good lovin' often requires us to focus more on getting the good lovin' which manifests itself in either one of two ways: 1) we do all the talking in hopes that we can talk you right out of your Hanes; or 2) we make sure to be the attentive listener and supportive partner that you need in hopes that you will just kindly hand your Hanes over to us.
The thing is, with that second possibility, and often unbeknownst to most of us men, the more we listen the more we either begin to like or dislike the woman. That bodes well for her because if we don't like you, the less time we want to spend around you, which includes time trying to get into your fanny. However, the opposite holds true as well. We just might begin to generally like you.
And that's how we end up in love and married. We start with an agenda and end up really feeling your vibes. Now, sure, if you want to give it up on the first night, we'll gladly take you up on that offer. If not us, it would be some other guy and its better to have loved and lumped than to have never lumped at all.
However, if you really want to know get a man interested in you...make him work for it.
Motivation.
For real for real, this is why it is unwise to bed your suitor on the first night. Now, it is wholly impossible that he will not think any less of you. Heavens no! All men don't view first night jumpoffs as baby batter packers. It was the great thinker and auteur, André 3000 of Outkast fame who said, "I don't give a sh*t about giving it up on the first night, it just let's me know, she knows what she wants out of life."
Indeed.
However, despite knowing that we're dealing with a woman who likes to take the bull by the horns - no pun intended - first night loving also removes some of the desire to get to know the woman who had piqued our interest, probably no less than 30 minutes prior. Once again, motivation. You see the lack of good lovin' often requires us to focus more on getting the good lovin' which manifests itself in either one of two ways: 1) we do all the talking in hopes that we can talk you right out of your Hanes; or 2) we make sure to be the attentive listener and supportive partner that you need in hopes that you will just kindly hand your Hanes over to us.
The thing is, with that second possibility, and often unbeknownst to most of us men, the more we listen the more we either begin to like or dislike the woman. That bodes well for her because if we don't like you, the less time we want to spend around you, which includes time trying to get into your fanny. However, the opposite holds true as well. We just might begin to generally like you.
And that's how we end up in love and married. We start with an agenda and end up really feeling your vibes. Now, sure, if you want to give it up on the first night, we'll gladly take you up on that offer. If not us, it would be some other guy and its better to have loved and lumped than to have never lumped at all.
However, if you really want to know get a man interested in you...make him work for it.
Motivation.
No. I'll approach him as a fellow person and we'll see how it goes.
This manipulation stuff is bull.
I love your writing style and I think that's you offered a sound piece of advice. It's great to hear these things from a guys point of view.
So the advice here is if you want someone to marry you, you have to act like someone who maybe isn't who you actually are?
How desperate ARE women these days!? To think that this is any kind of useful is pathetic. Be who you genuinely are and you'll obviously find the right person for you eventually. If you act like someone else, or change your behaviour significantly just for them, isn't that just a really bad set-up for a relationship?
What century are we in? Why should the women run around second-guessing the men? Shouldn't everyone just perhaps be honest with each other?
Want advice? Go to Geek Chic or Funny Guy. Their writing is so much better.
This is less an "advise" article and more of a "here's something you might not have considered" article to do with as you will. It is describing a bit of human nature that isn't applicable to all guys or all circumstances, but does to many of them. He doesn't say don't screw on the first date, he says that it may not be a good idea if your looking to form a lasting relationship with someone. Many girls will sleep with someone earlier than they would prefer to just to try to get guys to like them and form a relationship. While it would be better to convince them they don't NEED a man this is a viable alternative. It isn't manipulation to realize you've been making a mistake in dating and change the way you go about things and it isn't making a huge life and personality change just to try to get a man. It's understanding how your actions are perceived by prospective dates and changing the image you put forward so you have a chance to really get to know someone before being thrown into the one night stand category and not getting a call back. If this is manipulation or changing yourself for a date then so is wearing makeup, perfume, shaving your legs, getting dressed up, and failing to disclose all your annoying habits on the first date, all of which are actions designed to hide what you truly are and appear more attractive, at least until you know enough about each other to be attracted on personality. As someone who has been married for 6 years and with her for 10, these factors don't matter at all to me, but on the single scene they tend to. The choice is yours to buck the system or work within it, but generally knowing the system is the main purpose of this article, to make more informed decision, in my opinion anyways.
Which is why I don't wear perfume, make-up, shave my legs, or dress in anything other than is what appropriate for the occasion, ie nice clothes if somewhere fancy, whatever I feel like wearing around the house.
And I've had two long term relationships with wonderful men, so turns out that for the genuine guys, that shit doesn't matter. (NEWSFLASH - Girls, those things aren't as important as you'd think. A good conversation, sense of humour, open-minded nature, those will get you far more decent guys)
I'm sorry, but if I'm going to be with someone, I want it to be someone not playing the dating game. I want to be with someone I KNOW will be compatible with me, and if I hide who I am for the sake of simply snagging him, then it's hardly going to work for me in the long run.
I don't want to have to present myself as someone I'm not, only to slowly and quietly break their illusions of me one by one. I would much rather have them fall in love with ME. Who I genuinely am, not someone I'm pretending to be in order to be with them. That's not exactly fair to either of us, and it's the reason a lot of relationships fail, because they thought you were someone you weren't, and vice versa. It can also be difficult dealing with the fact that your beloved soft beautiful girl has shit that stinks like everyone else.
So fuck pretending and hooking them in. I'll be me, thanks.
Mister Minster,
So are you the person who doesn't wear make-up, parfume or shave your legs becuase, that is "who you are" or do you not wear make-up parfume or shave your legs, b.c the guys that you tend to go for do not care about those things...and if thats the case, then aren't not shaving, not wearing make-up/parfume b.c of they guy rather than for yourself. How is that different from a girl who likes to do all 3 things, and can also get a guy/or a girl. Are you saying then say, that is not who she is simply b.c she likes doing those things?
EVERYBODY wants somebody who is open-minded, has sense of humor and can to communicate.
My point is that it shoudln't matter what you do on the outside....you're right they are not that important..but that shoudn't be the reason why I can't find a man with a sense of humor, open-mind nature....and so forth... I am all those things and have a guy with all the qualties you mentioned.
And from the horse's( I mean my loving bf) mouth " Doesn't matter, I like you naked the most:)