Over at Tres Sugar, a site I am just constantly perusing in the regular course of my daily life as a man who writes in his underwear at home for money, they've got this handy slideshow of bizarre Valentine's Day gifts. But if you ask me, they missed out on the most frightening aspect of all. Take this featured item, for example:
If you can pull your eyes away from the shimmering strand of undying love strung between the faces of these two paid models, you may notice that their hands are eating each other. Yes, this is a set of mittens designed to be worn by two people simultaneously, presumably because you and your loved ones aren't swapping enough palm-sweat.
Then this lovely item pops up:
In case you're not seeing the horrifying pattern here, I'll end with another example:
PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE MASHED TOGETHER, VALENTINE'S DAY GIFTS! WE ARE NOT YOUR LOVE SARDINES TO IMPRISON IN COTTON!
Trying to figure out how to wear a T-shirt for two people when you're on the verge of a V-Day get down sounds like exactly the sort of thing that will spark a fight. Nothing kills the mood like an argument about whether your wife's left leg goes in the hole on her left, your left, or if any of this is even possible without removing the mittens.
If you want to be stuck together, go with the more traditional fuzzy handcuffs. At least that way you can still go to the bathroom separately (assuming one of you will lay with your wrist against the bottom of the door).
The only T's for two you should be enjoying on Valentine's Day are the ones attached to the front of your body.
Happy Valentine's Day everybody!
If you can pull your eyes away from the shimmering strand of undying love strung between the faces of these two paid models, you may notice that their hands are eating each other. Yes, this is a set of mittens designed to be worn by two people simultaneously, presumably because you and your loved ones aren't swapping enough palm-sweat.
Then this lovely item pops up:
In case you're not seeing the horrifying pattern here, I'll end with another example:
PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE MASHED TOGETHER, VALENTINE'S DAY GIFTS! WE ARE NOT YOUR LOVE SARDINES TO IMPRISON IN COTTON!
Trying to figure out how to wear a T-shirt for two people when you're on the verge of a V-Day get down sounds like exactly the sort of thing that will spark a fight. Nothing kills the mood like an argument about whether your wife's left leg goes in the hole on her left, your left, or if any of this is even possible without removing the mittens.
If you want to be stuck together, go with the more traditional fuzzy handcuffs. At least that way you can still go to the bathroom separately (assuming one of you will lay with your wrist against the bottom of the door).
The only T's for two you should be enjoying on Valentine's Day are the ones attached to the front of your body.
Happy Valentine's Day everybody!
"The only T's for two you should be enjoying on Valentine's Day are the ones attached to the front of your body."
Mine, his, hers, or each other's? If I were to offer my opinion, I think fun is to be had no matter what the day or relationship status.
Do you mean to say that if I were to grab a pair of your underwear I would find them to be written in?
Seriously man, you write IN your underwear?
The mittens seem like something you would get not so much for your significant other as to annoy single people. "Oh yes, we're so in love we only need three mittens, you? Oh, you can't even get a guy to pony up and buy you the privilege of watching flora die slowly? Oh, we're *SO* sorry to hear that."
Michael, the best part is that the mittens are actually called "smittens".
I am so entertained by the underwear package:
"Twice the fun as underwear!"
"New and Improved!"
And in small print: "Two fundie buddies not included." DAMMIT, WHERE'S MY PAIR OF ATTACHED-AT-THE-CROTCH SEX DOLLS??
Thank You. My thoughts exactly. Rip off f'sho.
Michael, the cartoon guy on the "Fundies" kinda looks like you. What are you trying to tell us here? XD