Double standards are a linchpin of modern society. Actually probably for all society and cavemen of the Geico era. Point is, double standards exist and for quite a few of them, women end up on the short end of the stick (thought don't be mistaken, there are also double standards that work totally in women's favor and they usually end up with the man's wallet ending up lighter).
A common question I've heard, both here on Guyspeak and in the real world, includes this disbelief by some women that a man would instantly break up with her if she ever cheated whereas many women would be more interested in attempting to work out the issue and figuring out why the man did what he did. Of course, the man would pay a dear and hefty fine for his trangressions, but he would be expected to want to work on it.
So why are men such douches when it comes to women messing up? Simple. Loyalty. Again, remember this isn't about making sense it's about explaining the non-sense. For some odd reason, when a man is dating a woman and proclaims his love for her he expects full-fledge loyalty from her. Which includes not sleeping with anybody else. When a woman decides to cheat on her man, it's like slapping him in the face with Nicki Minaj's arse. Okay, bad example as he might like that, but you get the point. He can't believe that a woman would do such a thing as take all that love he's given her and throw it at him.
Nevermind that the woman probably did what she did because of some shortcoming the man was exhibiting. By the way, the last sentence does not excuse any cheating. A chick who cheats is still a douche too. But she cheated for a purpose, and those purposes are often lost on men. All we focus on is what you did not why. And frankly, we don't care why. There will never a reason good enough to explain it.
Women, on the other hand, are generally more forgiving creatures and are prone to understanding what happened and why. Women always want to know why and generally, the answer will rarely ever be good enough. Mostly because our answers will generally range from "I don't know" to "It just happened" which can be true answers but don't delve into the feelings behind it all and the real why (which is more like a why mixed with a how). Plus, women tend to believe in the best of us which is why they'll stick it out until they can't.
In this instance, men basically suck. But because I'm a man, I understand. You cheat and I have to go. I never said it makes sense. It is what it is though.
Double standards aren't meant to make sense. They're intended to maintain order amidst chaos.
Or something.
So why are men such douches when it comes to women messing up? Simple. Loyalty. Again, remember this isn't about making sense it's about explaining the non-sense. For some odd reason, when a man is dating a woman and proclaims his love for her he expects full-fledge loyalty from her. Which includes not sleeping with anybody else. When a woman decides to cheat on her man, it's like slapping him in the face with Nicki Minaj's arse. Okay, bad example as he might like that, but you get the point. He can't believe that a woman would do such a thing as take all that love he's given her and throw it at him.
Nevermind that the woman probably did what she did because of some shortcoming the man was exhibiting. By the way, the last sentence does not excuse any cheating. A chick who cheats is still a douche too. But she cheated for a purpose, and those purposes are often lost on men. All we focus on is what you did not why. And frankly, we don't care why. There will never a reason good enough to explain it.
Women, on the other hand, are generally more forgiving creatures and are prone to understanding what happened and why. Women always want to know why and generally, the answer will rarely ever be good enough. Mostly because our answers will generally range from "I don't know" to "It just happened" which can be true answers but don't delve into the feelings behind it all and the real why (which is more like a why mixed with a how). Plus, women tend to believe in the best of us which is why they'll stick it out until they can't.
In this instance, men basically suck. But because I'm a man, I understand. You cheat and I have to go. I never said it makes sense. It is what it is though.
Double standards aren't meant to make sense. They're intended to maintain order amidst chaos.
Or something.
Actually, most people I know, male or female, have a zero-tolerance policy towards cheating. That can create fairly insurmountable trust issues for a lot of people.
that's because of the "cheated once, he/she'll do it again" common belief. And once you got cheated on, it's very hard to believe in yourself again, because that kinda of thing does affect a lot ("wasn't I good enough for him/her? What does the other have that I don't ?" kinda of questioning...pretty harsh on self confidence...).
And it would take time to heal and trust again.. Until eventually you find the one able to reassure you enough to trust him (and you!) fully.