You come here to learn about men. To peer through a testicle-shaped window at the football-shaped heart that beats within the hairy chest of every male. Except me, because I hate football, am naturally hairless and had an unfortunate Lacrosse accident as a child.
But that aside, I saw a little news item that, in my mind, says quite a lot about this half of the species. In a nutshell, it explains that one of the main ways new media platforms are developed is because men so fervently try and put porn there.
In this case, "there" means "on the iPad," which has only been out for a month and STILL doesn't have porn on it?! How ever will I masturbate on my bathroom break?! Seriously though, porn on the iPad is like a dream. I mean, the pixel quality, the maneuverability, the people inside who have sex and let you watch...superb.
But back to my general point (which the article goes into at length), that men wanting sex and not getting it is one of the primary forces for technological progress in the world.
Think about the fact that there are a number of websites that allow you to watch unlimited porn for free, and it's STILL a billion-dollar-a-year industry. There's no other product you could give away for free and still rake in profit selling. Maybe heroin, but it'd have to be the really good stuff.
From the article:
You know why we landed on the moon? IN CASE THERE WAS PORN THERE. Just to check. We had to be sure. Neil Armstrong actually left a copy of Hustler behind. Legend has it he still looks for it through a telescope on lonely nights. And if scientists could somehow tie global warming to a worldwide decrease in boob size, our carbon emissions would be zero by summer.
Welcome to our minds, ladies. It's a place of constant, throbbing desire for sex, and incidental achievements loosely based around that. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I finally have enough reason to buy an iPad.
But that aside, I saw a little news item that, in my mind, says quite a lot about this half of the species. In a nutshell, it explains that one of the main ways new media platforms are developed is because men so fervently try and put porn there.
In this case, "there" means "on the iPad," which has only been out for a month and STILL doesn't have porn on it?! How ever will I masturbate on my bathroom break?! Seriously though, porn on the iPad is like a dream. I mean, the pixel quality, the maneuverability, the people inside who have sex and let you watch...superb.
But back to my general point (which the article goes into at length), that men wanting sex and not getting it is one of the primary forces for technological progress in the world.
Think about the fact that there are a number of websites that allow you to watch unlimited porn for free, and it's STILL a billion-dollar-a-year industry. There's no other product you could give away for free and still rake in profit selling. Maybe heroin, but it'd have to be the really good stuff.
From the article:
And man, I'll bet it was some hot, twisted shit. Lady all showing her bloomers and churning cream and whatnot. My word, I believe I'm having one of my spells.From the printing press to instant cameras, from pay-per-view to VCRs, pornographers -- both professional and private -- have been among the quickest to jump on board with newly developed gadgets.
The first public screening of a movie was in 1895. Less than two years later, Coopersmith notes, the first "adult" film was released.
You know why we landed on the moon? IN CASE THERE WAS PORN THERE. Just to check. We had to be sure. Neil Armstrong actually left a copy of Hustler behind. Legend has it he still looks for it through a telescope on lonely nights. And if scientists could somehow tie global warming to a worldwide decrease in boob size, our carbon emissions would be zero by summer.
Welcome to our minds, ladies. It's a place of constant, throbbing desire for sex, and incidental achievements loosely based around that. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I finally have enough reason to buy an iPad.
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