Earlier this week, I was minding my own business on a sandy beach in Maine. Donning my sheer Speedo, and armed with nothing but a leather-bound edition of Hunger Games and my tall gin and tonic, I was hoping for some deep R&R.
But a GuySpeaker never sleeps. A few minutes into my tranquility my ears caught wind of a conversation taking place a few million grains of sand to my left. The discussion was between a small group of well-toned and sporty 20 somethings: three dudes, two girls - - not be confused with the film Two Girls One Cup.
They were having a Nerf football catch on the beach and I'd peg the vibe as flirty good times. No clear couples. Just happy, tan white folk being happy, tan white folk.
One of the females in the group heaved the football like she was trying to negotiate a 16-sided dildo made of Jell-o while the other gal had a whip and spiral to her throw that would make recruiters for Texas A&M jizz in their Lees. She wasn't trying hard -- just consistently gunning the ball enormous distances with the utmost precision and balance.
The conversation went something like this:
Dude: Damn Girl. You throw like a dude.
Good thrower Girl: (flirty laugh) Um, thanks I guess...
Other Dude: You makin' me feel bad about myself.
Bad Thrower Girl: (teasing) Ah-ha, you guys are so fuckin' jealous of my girl.
This got me thinking in general about sports and women. About women's expectation for themselves in sport and men's expectation of women in sport. The conversation I overheard wasn't radical - it rather typified the on-going model of what we, as a society, protect and project. Women should be in shape and athletic, but to a point. Men should always throw balls harder, faster, deeper than ladies. If a woman is too good at sport she is butch or a freak.
I guess it stems from man's insecurity; from man's biological need to be strong and protect his clan. But it seemed silly and sad that tens of thousands of years after our ancestors snaked out of the ocean we still can't treat a lady with a good arm normally. Men bug out and women shy away from their talents.
Taking a cue from Charles Darwin, whose scientific work on the Galapagos Islands also moved humanity forward, I decided to come up with a classification system myself. A classification of Women & Sport - not of what should be or could be, but what is. I was, after all, on the beach like him - in a Speedo and half drunk.
Women in Sports fall under Three Distinct Categories. Hot. Kinda Cool. Threatening.
Review my findings. Comment on it. Tell me where I'm wrong and right. Through sharing our experiences and gathering facts we can make sense of this.
HOT
Tennis
Ice-skating
Gymnastics
Down hill skiing
Pro softball (if the girl is blonde and not a pitcher or catcher)
Beach Volleyball
Short endurance Track & Field events
Car racing
Swimming (preferably without goggles and bathing cap)
KINDA COOL
Soccer
Field hockey
Lacrosse
Long endurance Track & Field events
Horse riding
THREATENING
Basketball
Baseball
Football
Weight lifting
Hockey
Professional Volleyball
(guys are silly)
...and easily threatened.
So much so that it can be a real problem for some of us. And this is not just in terms of sports. :(
Unlike women.. :)
Women may be insecure, but believe me, they're not easily threatened.
What about (French) Boxing ? or any martial art ?
I know that can be impressive for some guys, but my boxing never happened to be a deal-breaker. Guys just don't mess with me lol
Where do martial arts fit into this? I think that it depends on whether they're into it to and how good they are. Some men found it threatening, some men (especially nerds into action and ninja movies) found it hot, and men who I trained with and were significantly better than me because let's face it, with equal training they were stronger, found it vaguely cool from a we could relate to what the other goes through every day way. But we also didn't really want to date each other, when red faced and sweaty was all we ever saw.
People seem to think I'm all athletic and a health nut because I ride my bike everywhere, when the truth is riding a bike is the only thing I can do as I'm so un-co and I only do it as I dont have my license. Cant run, throw, catch, use a bat, dont even like watching sports. But guys seem to be into it, I think its more the 'being a girl who keeps fit, and in shape' kind of a thing, that, or the associations of 'riding' haha. Even unfit guys with chicken legs who couldn't keep up with me don't seem to mind it as it doesnt seem to be a threat to their man hood as much as the great throw etc.
Hm...I really like your categories. I think there's something to those. But I was kind of getting excited for more description of the *qualities* in the breakdowns, vs. the activities they might be doing. (i.e. a woman playing basketball could be "hot" if she is good, but not too good. Or maybe she's crap at it and never scores, but she's hot because she wears some cute shorts and laughs a lot. She might be "kinda cool" if she's good enough to impress the guys with her skills, possibly take them on and score a basket or two. But still not playing at the level of "guy." Or she's "threatening" if she's full-on playing "like a dude" and crushing the men all over the court. She's threatening to their egos - like the girl with the nerf football at the beach - and the guys just basically won't want to deal, so they pretty much walk off the court. And they'd never think of dating her).
I was also looking forward to more of your insight on this exchange. Like, for example, when the good-thrower responded to the man's comment with "Um, thanks I guess" (don't forget the giggle).
And also, when the other woman said, "You guys are so fucking jealous of my girl."
Doesn't that make it sound like the two *women* were a couple? That's what it sounds like to me. Which would make both the good- and bad-throwing women lesbians. But I don't know. I wasn't there. Maybe she meant "girl" as in friend. But if they were lesbians, it would be kind of a "game-changer" (no pun intended) when it comes to women in sports.
Any thoughts on that?
Well, I never felt threatened by an athletic or sporty woman. But I have seen other guys feel threatened though.
how about scuba diving? i'm an avid scuba diver. some men call me an adrenaline junkie. i wonder if that's hot or threatening. :\
how about scuba diving? i'm an avid scuba diver. some men call me an adrenaline junkie. i wonder if that's hot or threatening. :\
Scuba diving is hot, if you do it in warm climates. You know, when the guy looks at you and says "Hmm, having sex in an underwater cave, how cool would that be?" Diving in icy lakes in a bulky neoprene suit can kind of negate that though.
I think soccer is hot, as do a lot of the guys I know. I'd switch out soccer onto the hot list for downhill skiing, which should be moved to kinda cool, IMO.
This is interesting but I'm also wondering what guys think about girls who love watching certain sports. I love football and understand it more than some guys I know. Also, I can throw a football better than my brothers but rarely play with anyone. I'm single and wondering if this would be an advantage or a disadvantage when dating.
Don't forget about Water Polo!
What about fitness instructors or personal trainers? Where do they fit?
I think surfing should be added to the 'hot' category.
But also, as right as the categories may be, they're kinda.. dumb. I can throw a football like/better than a guy, and it's been pointed out to me many times. And you best believe I ain't gonna downplay that skill just to keep guys feeling safe and unthreatened. If you can't handle it, you're definitely not the kind of guy I wanna be with, which is a guy that's secure and confident. Take it as a challenge, not a threat.
Well, luckily for me, my participation in sports is limited to a few rounds of Dizzy Bat while pre-gaming on the weekends.
The thing I find most threatening is that you wear a sheer speedo ;)
Yeah, it's kinda sad how much gender typing still exists. I'm assuming this was in the US, but I still see these things up here in Canada, too. Ugh. I find it so aggravating/depressing/rip-my-hair-out-worthy. I get agitated whenever I hear any comment like that, even if it's done humourously and not meant to mean a whole lot. Guess I'm just sensitive about it. -__- Blah.
Thanks for posting, FG.
Uh....what about all the ladies who are not even into sports/activities like those mention?
Being a girl, I have been naturally good at sports. However, I was a pitcher in softball and I am not blonde. I can hang with the guys and play a game, some I'm evn better at! Other activities, if I'm doing better I may tend to shy away. I was on a date with a guy & 2 other couples when we all went bowling, something I hadn't done in years. I ended up beating everyone in the second game by a lot, and I was the last one going with two more turns - I opted out because I was self conscious that as the girl, on a date I beat everyone. Lame, I know but was worried about how that may be perceived where everyone else seemed to think it was pretty awesome.