Many of you have asked how to get your guy to stop dressing like a lazy slob. Well, improving his wardrobe is no easy task. But if you follow my five steps, you'll be on your way to finally not being embarrassed to be seen with him in public.
Add new items one piece at a time
Start slowly. You aren't going to change him into a fashion plate overnight. Focus on one offending aspect of his wardrobe at a time. Hate that he still wears flannel in 2010? Surprise him with a nice button-up shirt. Showing up with an entire new wardrobe is probably going to freak him out. Rome wasn't built in a day, and getting your guy to stop dressing like he's fifteen is going to take some serious time and effort. Once you have him trying on new clothes, keep it simple and focus on comfort. Steer him toward basic colors, and classic looks like dark denim jeans and, say, a blazer over a solid color t-shirt. Or maybe a button-up shirt (collar out) under a sweater. Don't go crazy with patterns or accessories. Make him presentable first; then you can focus on turning him into Don Draper or Chuck Bass.
Shop with purpose
It's a cliche that men don't like shopping. We love shopping for electronics, gadgets, action figures, and even, occasionally, clothes. What we don't love is the endless browsing, or going to the store without a purpose. We get nervous and bored, and start looking for the nearest Cinnabon or Brookstone. Shopping together, and gently nudging him towards stylish clothes, can be fun. But have a game plan: if he needs jeans, get jeans. (See my previous post on avoiding skinny jeans. You want jeans that fit: not too baggy, not too skinny. Darker blues are my preference.) If all of his socks are riddled with holes, focus on that first. Shop with purpose, and he's less likely to view it as a chore, and more of a fun thing to do with you.
Encourage his interests
For years, I could care less about fashion. But then I discovered Ben Sherman. Now I eagerly await their pants, shirts, and jackets the way I do new Rock Band downloads or the latest issue of Batman and Robin. (I prefer Ben Sherman's old handwritten logo over the new symbol, but that's a different story.) The point is, I'm a nerd for Ben Sherman. Let him find his Ben Sherman-- the clothing label (or labels) he can really get into. If he's totally clueless, point out labels you like in magazines or while watching TV. Show him a photo of a well-dressed celebrity, and tell him he'd look good in those same Kenneth Cole jeans or DKNY jacket. (As an aside, if anyone from Ben Sherman, or Converse, is reading this, I'm always open to free samples.)
Find something you love about his style, and run with it
Do you love that he has Converse in every color of the rainbow? Do you love that he wears soft cashmere sweaters? Tell your guy this. Compliment him. You know how you like it when we tell you that you look great in a new outfit? Well, so do we. Use the old positive reinforcement trick. "Cute shoes. You know what would look good with those...?" Look at his current wardrobe as a foundation that you can build on. Don't tell him he needs to completely start from scratch-- chances are, he'll tune out. Make him feel like he's not a total fashion washout (even if he is). Then the more you build, the sooner you can phase out his ugly green Crocs.
Pick your battles
Even if you end up completely changing his wardrobe, let him keep something that he likes. Does he love that t-shirt he got from a Phish concert in 1999? Let him wear it occasionally. (Just maybe not to your friend's wedding.) I have a friend whose girlfriend gave him a complete makeover--I'm talking from sloppy stoner to trendster seemingly overnight. But the one thing he wouldn't let go of was his collection of seriously '90s flannel shirts. His rationale was, flannel had gotten him through the ups-and-downs of life. Was his girlfriend there during his freshman year of high school? No, but the flannel was. They had sentimental value. So let him express himself, even if it's not always in the most fashion-forward way.
You can also direct him to fun style blogs that skew towards the trendy male. (I like Put This On and Street Level.) Finally, don't worry about high-end designer labels and the latest hot trends. Most guys don't care about that kind of stuff. He can look good without spending a fortune by just sticking to the basics.
Good luck!
Add new items one piece at a time
Start slowly. You aren't going to change him into a fashion plate overnight. Focus on one offending aspect of his wardrobe at a time. Hate that he still wears flannel in 2010? Surprise him with a nice button-up shirt. Showing up with an entire new wardrobe is probably going to freak him out. Rome wasn't built in a day, and getting your guy to stop dressing like he's fifteen is going to take some serious time and effort. Once you have him trying on new clothes, keep it simple and focus on comfort. Steer him toward basic colors, and classic looks like dark denim jeans and, say, a blazer over a solid color t-shirt. Or maybe a button-up shirt (collar out) under a sweater. Don't go crazy with patterns or accessories. Make him presentable first; then you can focus on turning him into Don Draper or Chuck Bass.
Shop with purpose
It's a cliche that men don't like shopping. We love shopping for electronics, gadgets, action figures, and even, occasionally, clothes. What we don't love is the endless browsing, or going to the store without a purpose. We get nervous and bored, and start looking for the nearest Cinnabon or Brookstone. Shopping together, and gently nudging him towards stylish clothes, can be fun. But have a game plan: if he needs jeans, get jeans. (See my previous post on avoiding skinny jeans. You want jeans that fit: not too baggy, not too skinny. Darker blues are my preference.) If all of his socks are riddled with holes, focus on that first. Shop with purpose, and he's less likely to view it as a chore, and more of a fun thing to do with you.
Encourage his interests
For years, I could care less about fashion. But then I discovered Ben Sherman. Now I eagerly await their pants, shirts, and jackets the way I do new Rock Band downloads or the latest issue of Batman and Robin. (I prefer Ben Sherman's old handwritten logo over the new symbol, but that's a different story.) The point is, I'm a nerd for Ben Sherman. Let him find his Ben Sherman-- the clothing label (or labels) he can really get into. If he's totally clueless, point out labels you like in magazines or while watching TV. Show him a photo of a well-dressed celebrity, and tell him he'd look good in those same Kenneth Cole jeans or DKNY jacket. (As an aside, if anyone from Ben Sherman, or Converse, is reading this, I'm always open to free samples.)
Find something you love about his style, and run with it
Do you love that he has Converse in every color of the rainbow? Do you love that he wears soft cashmere sweaters? Tell your guy this. Compliment him. You know how you like it when we tell you that you look great in a new outfit? Well, so do we. Use the old positive reinforcement trick. "Cute shoes. You know what would look good with those...?" Look at his current wardrobe as a foundation that you can build on. Don't tell him he needs to completely start from scratch-- chances are, he'll tune out. Make him feel like he's not a total fashion washout (even if he is). Then the more you build, the sooner you can phase out his ugly green Crocs.
Pick your battles
Even if you end up completely changing his wardrobe, let him keep something that he likes. Does he love that t-shirt he got from a Phish concert in 1999? Let him wear it occasionally. (Just maybe not to your friend's wedding.) I have a friend whose girlfriend gave him a complete makeover--I'm talking from sloppy stoner to trendster seemingly overnight. But the one thing he wouldn't let go of was his collection of seriously '90s flannel shirts. His rationale was, flannel had gotten him through the ups-and-downs of life. Was his girlfriend there during his freshman year of high school? No, but the flannel was. They had sentimental value. So let him express himself, even if it's not always in the most fashion-forward way.
You can also direct him to fun style blogs that skew towards the trendy male. (I like Put This On and Street Level.) Finally, don't worry about high-end designer labels and the latest hot trends. Most guys don't care about that kind of stuff. He can look good without spending a fortune by just sticking to the basics.
Good luck!
I will never understand why a girl would want to change what her guy wears. For me, the way a guy dresses is a good chunk of the attraction. If I thought a guy looked like a lazy slob, I probably wouldn't be seeing him in the first place [yes, I do think first impressions are a big deal]. I like guys with unique styles [though it still has to be style], and while they may not necessarily be presentable at a wedding or in any other formal environment, I don't mind taking them out in public just because they like their rock and roll tee shirts and ripped jeans. But hey, maybe I'm still young and have yet to see the importance of 'nice clothes.'
Yes, but many people fall for someone who is perfect in every other way (personality, looks, sense of humor, etc.), but are maybe not the best dresser. Some guys don't really care, and might just need a little push in the right direction.
Also...ripped jeans??? Really? Didn't that go out of style around 1988? Why ruin a perfectly nice pair of jeans?
Yeah, I guess it's realistic to fall for a guy not based solely on looks. Heh. And when I say ripped jeans, I mean ripped as in they were probably new in '88. I agree that no pair of jeans deserves to be intentionally destroyed for the sake of fashion. I'm not sure which is worse, the pre-ripped jeans or the pre-faded jeans the proceeded them.
One problem that my friend had with her fiancee is that he really thought he was dressing nicely. Not necessarily thinking he was a fashion plate, he did make an effort to look presentable and clean cut. Little did he know that he looked like a nerdy 12 year old from the 80s. With a little help, my girl was able to bring him into the modern look of classic and clean cut and now he is no longer wearing white turtle necks with green sweaters and mom jeans. Sometimes, we just need a little push in the right direction :-)
This definitely falls into the Top 5 "Most Useful" posts I've ever read here, and by that I mean posts I instinctively forward to my gf so she KNOWS wtf is going on with me.
She's the kind of girl that a week after our first kiss was digging clothes out of my drawers and throwing my old-school shoes into the trash. A few "ohh-my-god-imma-kill-you-if-you-throw-that-away" (no killin' intended ^_^) screams and she cut it out, but she still thinks that the way to go is just give all my clothes to UNICEF guys and start from scratch.
So as usual, the link to this post is already sitting in her inbox for her to read and HOPEFULLY smack some sense into her pretty head.
Good stuff, good stuff...
Thanks, Mandini. I appreciate it. And good luck!
edhardy cap
www.lookedhardy.com
One tip for guys:
Wearing anything Ed Hardy makes you look like a douchebag. Even if you're not. Just a fact of life :)
chic geek, i agree with your advice to start with basics and classics, then move on (if possible) to a more fashionable wardrobe for the man in one's life who is in need of help in that dept. when i met my husband (of less than a year), he was everything i was looking for, but when i moved in (we met online and were having a long-distance relationship for a couple of months), i couldn't believe that he hardly owned any clothes withouts rips, stains and holes and was proud to be seen in them wherever, whenever, regardless of the occasion etc. i'm of course proud of him for being the confident and assertive guy he is, whatever he is wearing (i'm unfortunately not like that), but it's embarrassing and makes me feel like not taking care of myself either, when we go out (anywhere) and see him leave the house the way he does. in the beginning, i threw out and burnt the worst offenders, but was regularly caught (when he couldn't find an item) and had to swear I wouldn't do it again. picking out clothes for him doesn't work, because he won't wear them ('don't try to dress me up'), the only time i tried it, i couldn't ignore the whole night out that he was wearing white socks with the dark clothes and shoes I had picked for him and he had (for some reason, that night) actually worn. my hubby is informal, doesn't feel comfortable in a shirt or suit or dress shoes, so his wardrobe consists of fleece shirts and pants, sweat pants, t-shirts (with logos from whichever company gave them away and/or sexual jokes), tapered mom jeans with high waists, sweaters and hoodies - all with stains, holes and rips. since we've met, i've been giving him clothes for every occasion and every time i go grocery shopping (i don't work so no income of my own), i bring back a couple of good sales items (basics and classic items). what i have learned (and which works better for me in my situation) is to throw out an item, when i've bought a replacement. (I'm impatient, so I don't do this slowly, but it would be really easy to sneak something new into a guy's wardrobe, if it isn't too bad to start with). so now my husband finds new items in his wardrobe and actually wears them (although he won't wear anything like chinos or even button down shirts). at least he's not wearing anything with holes and stains and rips anymore. sorry about the long post, just wanted to share this with people who seem to have the same problem. apologies to the guys (including my hubby) - i really wish i didn't have to do this and my man would throw out clothes, when they're more than 20 yrs old, sleeves too short, or damaged. but unfortunately, he won't and although i don't want to change him or expect him to dress like a fashion icon, i do expect my hubby yo dress age-appropriately and differently for different occasions and not go on a quad ride or fix the lawn mower, when we come back without changing into work clothes first. i know guys argue they don't want to be changed etc. etc., but they should also realise that one of the consequences could be what happened to us - seeing that my hubby doesn't care about his looks, i have stopped caring about how i look around him too - i'm not working outside our home and we don't live in town, but still, he has been seing me in the same old stained t-shirts and baggy sweat pants for the last year or so. i've put on 1/3 of my normal weight and no longer feel as attractive and obviously this also creates issues for our sex life. i've just joined the gym again and hope that once i get back into shape and he sees me dress up, he will want to do something about his looks too, but am not that hopeful. good luck to all of you - on either side of the fence;)