An upcoming role (for the readers who may not be aware, I am an accomplished late night QVC presenter) has required that I grow a mustache, and after not shaving my upper lip for several weeks, one thing has become apparent:
I was not meant to have any facial hair above the level of a light dusting.
When the first words that leap to mind upon seeing yourself in the mirror in the morning are "sleazy," "stringy," and "why is there a sexual predator in my bathroom?" it can't be a good sign.
But that got me thinking about the whole facial hair thing in general. So as usual, I've decided to use my position as someone who provides information to women about men to glean information about women. What are your facial hair preferences? Some? None? Beaded? Corn-rowed? Galifianakis? The always popular "waxed handlebar in the shape of a windmill?"
The mustache, in particular, has had a long and rocky relationship with the fairer sex. At one time, it was the epitome of manliness, scratchy dad-kisses be damned. Nowadays it seems to only be rocked by those doing so ironically, or by pale gangly European-looking men who would probably taste of menthols and Dirty Projectors lyrics.
And is there EVER a good time for a full beard? Doesn't that hurt you? Wouldn't you rather your bearded boyfriend stuck to the ever-classy neckbeard, or shaved a perfect circle around his mouth for kissing purposes? I think you would, ladies. I think you would.
So weigh in: what's your favorite face/hair combination? Which are total turn-offs, and what are things we could do to make the whole experience less...well:
I was not meant to have any facial hair above the level of a light dusting. When the first words that leap to mind upon seeing yourself in the mirror in the morning are "sleazy," "stringy," and "why is there a sexual predator in my bathroom?" it can't be a good sign.
But that got me thinking about the whole facial hair thing in general. So as usual, I've decided to use my position as someone who provides information to women about men to glean information about women. What are your facial hair preferences? Some? None? Beaded? Corn-rowed? Galifianakis? The always popular "waxed handlebar in the shape of a windmill?"
The mustache, in particular, has had a long and rocky relationship with the fairer sex. At one time, it was the epitome of manliness, scratchy dad-kisses be damned. Nowadays it seems to only be rocked by those doing so ironically, or by pale gangly European-looking men who would probably taste of menthols and Dirty Projectors lyrics.
And is there EVER a good time for a full beard? Doesn't that hurt you? Wouldn't you rather your bearded boyfriend stuck to the ever-classy neckbeard, or shaved a perfect circle around his mouth for kissing purposes? I think you would, ladies. I think you would.
So weigh in: what's your favorite face/hair combination? Which are total turn-offs, and what are things we could do to make the whole experience less...well:
Say what? Aaaaah! Instant moustache.
Yeah, but that one was the result of a hard-working team of CGI artists.
Facial hair is great! I'm a fan of the scruff beard. Although only some men can pull that off without looking like a bum. I know it's kind of a lost art nowadays, but on the right guy, a goatee is awesome.
Aesthetically? I love me some scruff. Not that good in practicality.
And I think it's just our generation that can't pull off mustaches. Look at the guys in the twenties. Mustaches and MANLY AS FUCK.
My wife likes facial hair visually, but it's just not worth the pokiness factor. Have other couples found a way around this? If so, how?
You need to deep-condition that shit. I'm talking Pantene Pro-V all up in this bitch. It also works wonders on your pubes. I once put together a blind softness test for my pubes vs. a lambs wool. The pubes bested the wool every time... Don't ask why my pubes were exposed in the presence of a lamb... It may have something to do with 4-H club and too much strawberry Boone's.
If its a question of just looks, then on many men a little five o'clock shadow can be sexy as hell. When it comes to the physical aspect of it, it can be annoying to kiss someone with a scratchy beard. But, I have found that you get used to it after awhile.
I am not a female, but speaking from experience having a beard, not having a beard, and switching it up, I can say one thing for sure: if a woman tells you specifically how to grow your facial hair and it's how you usually do, it means she likes it. If she tells you specifically how to grow your facial hair and its different than you usually grow it (naturally, or whatever) then it means she DOES NOT WANT YOU TO HAVE FACIAL HAIR. The first situation is rare. Usually, in my experience, if she gives you any advice, it means she DOES NOT WANT.
I'm a 24 year old guy and I have a full beard but I keep it pretty short, like a slightly thicker scruff I guess. And my wife actually prefers me with facial hair which was suprising. Just straight up told me she liked it better. Plus I feel more manly which is a plus.
Most of my friends are dating dudes with beards or wish they were lol.
I beg my husband to keep his. When I met him, he had that narrow jawline beard that was totally hot as hell. Eventually it got too scruffy and he would shave it all one length, which was a bummer. I would count down the days until the line was back lol. He's tried everything- clean shaven, mustache, goatee, muttonchops, soul patch, full beard- and I still prefer anything that combines the mustache with some beard. I totally can't stand clean shaven.
As for the pokiness factor, he's been able to grow a full beard since he was like, in 7th grade, so by now it's super soft. I love it.
Scruffiness rocks!!
Yeah, I feel like scruffiness is definitely enjoying it's time in the spotlight right now. I wonder when greaser's going to come back. I love me some pomade and a leather jacket.
Just go to Williamsburg in Brooklyn, NY...there's plenty of greasers there. I swear to god, little combs in the backpocket and everything.
My mom was a greaser in high school! Honestly, if it comes back into style, I'll be all too happy. =)
I am all for a little scruff. Also I kinda have a thing for a mustache, but not that many can pull that of in my generation. Now, when you go back in time a little, that's something else. But I am pretty much a fan of any kind of facial hair (at least on guys), except those kind of beards, that are pretty much just a thin line and look like it's painted on (and sometimes even is).
Also I don't like it, when the hair gets to long, but that's becaus I am generally a fan of short hair on guys and facial hair length should not exceed hair length.
Generally speaking, I prefer no facial hair at all, although there are some guys who can pull it off. My absolute pet peeve, however, is bald guys with facial hair (think Howie Mandel's soul patch-chrome dome combo here). I just think it looks ridiculous.
So I'm probably a bit of an anomaly in this department, but I really, genuinely love the 1800's style waxed 'stache. Like the impressive one the little Pringles guy has. Or the Timothy Olyphant in Deadwood mustache/tiny goatee combo.
That is a REALLY tough one! I guess it's pretty much like a whole second hairstyle. You have to have facial hair that fits your style/personality. Guys like Usher or Craig David have R&B facial hair, ZZ Top have rock band facial hair. I actually never really liked facial hair until my boyfriend came along. He has the most universal facial hair, he can pretty much sport anything from a Paul Teutul to a Karl Marx to a Lemmy Kimister to the curly handlebar, and everyone goes nuts loving it (I think he was getting close to mountain man when I first met him). And it always seems to suit him. I have found that if a guy has facial hair that suits him, it doesn't get in the way of kissing or other intimate relations. He either has discovered ways for it not to bother, or it just comes naturally. On the other hand, if he CAN'T pull it off...it doesn't feel good! I think you just have to not be afraid to experiment!
Don't forget the ever popular birdcage-beard http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=081dHOYY6IE
"or shaved a perfect circle around his mouth for kissing purposes?"
You mean like... a reverse goatee?
Michael, if this shows up on the next season of Jersey Shore, I'm blaming you.
Facial hair is something I definitely enjoy. Sideburns, scruff beard, even a full lumberjack beard. It of course really really depends on the man. I have seen a luscious full beard pulled off extremely well by some, and by others in a much more hobo-esque fashion. Also, my boyfriend for example looks weird without at least sideburns, and he keeps a beard in the winter. I'm also a big fan of the five-o'clock shadow look or the few days stubble on many men. That's the easiest one for any face type, plus the feeling of stubble is kinda like...really sexy.
But seriously, don't feel bad if you CAN'T grow a luscious lumberjack beard or a thick walrus stache. I can't either.
Omg, you look so sad in your picture! Awwww...
I actually like that scruff you sport in your Guyspeak pic. It's kinda hot. (No offense to your wife or anything!)
I really don't like beards or mustaches. Goatees are sometimes okay, depending on the guy. If a guy has weird facial hair (by this I mean a ZZ Top beard or mutton chops) he'd better be either an awesome artist and/or musician. I personally like clean-shaven myself, a mustache reminds me too much of my dad. And who wants to think about their dad on a date?
The only exception to my clean-shaven rule is when a preppie starts getting in touch with his "dark side" and sports a five-o-clock shadow. Whisker burn is no fun, but you can forget it during the action. Heh heh.
No. All the way, no. Men with full beards have no face- all you see is beard. Men with mustaches look stupid. Men with partial beards (goatees) look like douches. Men with stubble look unkempt and lazy. All are scratchy and unpleasant to the touch. Some exceptional shining specimens of the male race (Johnny Depp, Tom Sellick, Michael Swaim) can pull these off, but if you aren't of this special breed (and you're not), and you don't have some sort of stupidly deformed chin, then keep it clean, mister.