I was reading CNN.com this morning and saw a link to this article on Real Simple about blow-drying your hair. Is this what people are writing about these days? I guess Real Simple is the right place for such an article.
Step 1: Plug in dryer.
Step 2: Turn on dryer.
Step 3: Style hair with dryer as needed.
I know, I know, there's a little more to it than that. I mean, I really know -- from experience. I don't blow dry my hair these days -- there's not enough to blow -- but there was a time when I did, a time when lots of guys did. Did we ever. It was called the early 80s and if you didn't have perfectly blow-dried and feathered hair, then you, my friend, were a capital L Loser.
I first started blow-drying my hair in 1980. Ninth grade. New school. My hair was getting long and unmanageable, and I wanted the parted-down-the-center-and-immaculately-feathered look that all my new classmates had, both male and female. Through subtle queries -- guys don't talk about hair, yo -- I learned that I needed to blow-dry it, so the next day I borrowed my sister's dryer and round brush, the latter being the real key to perfect hair.
Oh. My. Stars. It was like a captor had removed my blindfold and showed me the light. My hair looked frickin' amazing, if I do say so myself, and a new era had dawned. There was no turning back now.
Like a teenage boy who discovers masturbation, I started blow-drying my hair like a fiend. I couldn't stop.
(No, I'm not gay -- not that there's anything wrong with that. This was the 80s. You had to be there. Chicks dug the butt-cut and feathers, and I was all about impressing the ladies.)
My sister finally got pissed that I always had her dryer and round brush, so she ordered me to get my own. I did get a dryer, though not the one with lots of settings that I wanted, which cost too much. I couldn't find a good round brush, though. My sister ended up giving me one for Christmas, and I gotta say, it was my favorite gift that year.
I went through several dryers and brushes over the next few years until the feathered hair craze finally ended. I'm happy to say that I've been completely dryer-free since 1983, and just got my 25-year chip last year. My wife is still a slave to the hair dryer, but I can't make her quit. All I can do is support her until she makes her own decision to stop.
Step 1: Plug in dryer.
Step 2: Turn on dryer.
Step 3: Style hair with dryer as needed.
I know, I know, there's a little more to it than that. I mean, I really know -- from experience. I don't blow dry my hair these days -- there's not enough to blow -- but there was a time when I did, a time when lots of guys did. Did we ever. It was called the early 80s and if you didn't have perfectly blow-dried and feathered hair, then you, my friend, were a capital L Loser.
I first started blow-drying my hair in 1980. Ninth grade. New school. My hair was getting long and unmanageable, and I wanted the parted-down-the-center-and-immaculately-feathered look that all my new classmates had, both male and female. Through subtle queries -- guys don't talk about hair, yo -- I learned that I needed to blow-dry it, so the next day I borrowed my sister's dryer and round brush, the latter being the real key to perfect hair.
Oh. My. Stars. It was like a captor had removed my blindfold and showed me the light. My hair looked frickin' amazing, if I do say so myself, and a new era had dawned. There was no turning back now.
Like a teenage boy who discovers masturbation, I started blow-drying my hair like a fiend. I couldn't stop.
(No, I'm not gay -- not that there's anything wrong with that. This was the 80s. You had to be there. Chicks dug the butt-cut and feathers, and I was all about impressing the ladies.)
My sister finally got pissed that I always had her dryer and round brush, so she ordered me to get my own. I did get a dryer, though not the one with lots of settings that I wanted, which cost too much. I couldn't find a good round brush, though. My sister ended up giving me one for Christmas, and I gotta say, it was my favorite gift that year.
I went through several dryers and brushes over the next few years until the feathered hair craze finally ended. I'm happy to say that I've been completely dryer-free since 1983, and just got my 25-year chip last year. My wife is still a slave to the hair dryer, but I can't make her quit. All I can do is support her until she makes her own decision to stop.
Ha! I demand photo evidence that your feathered hair looked "frickin' amazing."
It's not the 80's, but I still use a blow dryer and round brush on days when I want my hair to look, ya know, good. Most days I let it air dry though, because the assclowns at my office don't deserve Good Hair Bev. They're lucky I show up at all. ;)
Funny post, C!
I don't think you're truly a man unless you've posed as James Bond with a blow dryer gun in the mirror.
Oh yes, the feathered hair. And you're right, it was both guys and gals that wanted it. All the girls got their hair cut with the feathers whether they had the kind of hair that worked with those cuts or not. I got the cut, but my hair didn't work with it. It was too curly. Blow dryers and round brushes didn't help me, or I just didn't know how to work them right. Just my luck. My hair didn't work with the Farrah feathers or the Jaclyn Smith layers or the Dorothy Hamill bob or the Marsha Brady straight and long do either. I air dry my hair now. No more blow dryers for me either. Congratulations on the 25 year chip! So glad you were able to stop the addiction. This was great fun to read, Cary. Well done! :D
daisy, you and I are soul-sisters! I too have extremely curly hair that WOULD NOT feather. I got the large round brush, straightening perms, the whole nine! And if I WAS able to get it to feather, within an hour I looked like I had sausages framing my face. BUT, once the mid-late 80s came with the perms and big hair, I was in 7th heaven! All those girls who had the perfectly feathered hair had to figure out how to get their parents to give them $100 bucks for a perm, and all I needed was some gel! ROFL! Did you experience the same joy? I embrace my curls to this day, and REFUSE to get those straighteners!
My hair was more Farrah than Farrah! Now I just let it go curly and the only time I use a hairdryer is when I blow it straight. It takes about 45 minutes but looks amazing!
I agree with Bevers. You can't tell us your hair looked amazing without a photo proof. I bet you looked really dorky, just like all they old '80s pics.
I never did blow dry, but I always had a comb in my back pocket so I could perfect my Sean Cassidy-like feathers. At some point I wrapped rubber bands around the handle of my comb, thus making me the king of the quick-draw. Can't say when I stopped feathering. Haven't been to a meeting in a while, but my sponsor is in constant contact.
Ah, the back pocket comb. I remember those well. Love the quick-draw thing.
Ah, the 80s, heaven years of long hair for both genders...
At least, they didn't have hair straighteners back then. Because those babies are so addictive too! If I wasn't scared my hair would get all dry and burned from the excessive use, I'd use it every day.
I refuse to use those instruments of heat and destruction on my hair. I love it too much. Plus I don't care and my arms get tired.