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On The Purchasing Of A Man Bag

It happened about a month ago. The Change. There were no hot flashes, no sudden discharges (at least none out of the ordinary), but it was a change as irrevocable as the changing seasons and shifting tides.

On August 27, 2009, I became a Man Bag Person.

It all started so simply. I had complained to my wife about how much crap I was constantly carrying around in my pockets, and how I wished there was some--any--solution.

"Anything at all," I repeated ominously, fishing through a week's worth of crumpled movie tickets and loose tic tacs to try and find my ringing cell phone before everyone on the street heard my Lady Gaga ringtone. I was desperate. Little did I know then the solution the she-witch offered would rock the very foundations of my masculinity.

To answer your inevitable question: it's a little mauve number, canvas, about a foot across. I had thought of going with black leather to try and pass it off as more of a briefcase, but let's be honest: trying to make a purse look masculine by making it out of leather is like trying to class up Paris Hilton by giving her a monocle. You're not fooling anyone, and she'll probably just eat it.

And to tell you the truth, I can't really complain. Right now, I've got gum, a notepad, my phone, an iPod, cologne, my wallet and other assorted sundries nestled safely away, and my pockets are back to their sleek and sexy fighting weight.

My major concern these days is reminding all of my friends and acquaintances that the preferred nomenclature is "messenger bag," not "man purse." "In Europe, they all have these," I say. "Johnny Depp probably has one on right now." My voice rings hollow in my ears, and I clutch the bag tighter. For me, The Change has happened, and there's no going back.

But every so often, when I'm walking down the street, the weight of it bouncing against my hip like a scarlet letter, I can see other men looking at it. Judging it. I stare back at their unseemly, bulging pockets.

Enjoy your high horses while you can, gentlemen, I think. For soon...you will be one of us.
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8 Comments

GalSpeak

Does a messenger bag count as a man bag?

Michael Swaim

The rule of thumb is: anything bigger than a coin purse or smaller than a briefcase. Also if it's got a single shoulder strap and doesn't have a laptop inside, BAM. You've been manbagged.

user-pic

I find that all you need to do to maintain your masculinity is clutch it tightly in both hand in front of you and sprint wherever you're going. Pantyhose can enhance the effect, provided you're wearing them on your head.

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If u want bags specially for men then check out here bags for men

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Be glad you aren't subject to mantyhose, those are just downright scary o.o

Laje Kahr

Mine has a laptop in it, so... :P

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Check out www.rubberx3.com for "satchels" (aka man bags) made from truck inner tubes.

user-pic

Great article! I have to say, I love man bags! I, like you, find them so essential nowadays. I just didn't have anywhere to store everything! I honestly wonder how other men cope carrying everything in their back pockets.
My favourite comes from http://www.maxwellscottbags.com/c/Mens-Shoulder-Bags.html , they have a great selection. It's made from full grain leather as well so it definetely looks the part and has lasted me a couple of years already.
I am 100% a fan of the man bag!

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