I'll admit it. Was running seriously late on the blog post this week, so I spent a few minutes going through past blogs and seeing if one could be replayed. They couldn't. Well, technically they could, I guess, but I just couldn't do it. Got my pride.
It is 3 AM Saturday morning as I write this. I have two novels, a short story, an article on the Mafia, another on robot battle suits and two screenplays open in seperate windows in front of me, as well as the browser with, currently, 47 tabs open. My task bar looks like a rush hour traffic jam. My body is screaming at me to get some damned sleep.
The short story, about the ghost of an entire city - yeah, it is as awesome as it sounds and if you are really good maybe I'll post it one week - is the most appealing. It is also the one with the furthest away deadline. Those two factors may be related.
My lady is away for work yet again. The brats are sound asleep, giving out those delicate squeaky snores that only the very young can manage. I can't leave the house and go for a walk or a drive, my usual remedy for the blues. The fire is getting low, and the wood is outside, so I'll have to make a fair amount of noise to bring more in, probably waking the kids.
Even the cats have all left, two to curl up near the kids in the warmth, and the big male to patrol his territory and have a fight with a new young Turk that threatens his dominance. He'll come in again later and sleep next to me. He always does. He has a simple outlook on life. Eat, fight and sleep.
I envy him.
Not for him the problems of dealing with friend's problems. He has no friends, just enemies and beings he sort of tolerates. He doesn't worry about eating healthy and living right - he simply butts me with his head until he gets fed, and shows claws to the other two until he has finished eating. Does he create? Well, judging by the flicking of his paws, he dreams. Close enough, right?
Watching him finish grooming, then slip out through the cat door like a fluffy wraith, I almost felt hate for a second. Once, I was like that. No, not four legged and covered in fur, try not to be retarded, but independent. My own master, with none to gainsay me. No one to stop me slipping out late at night for an adventure - be it a fight or a chance encounter with someone of the opposite sex.
Somewhere along the line, I traded that freedom in. And I really don't recall making the deal. It just sort of happened when I wasn't looking.
Am I complaining? Not really, no. I am reasonably happy. Life has it's challenges, but is decent, and if you laid the options out in front of me, I would probably pick what I got.
Just really, really miss howling at the moon,
It is 3 AM Saturday morning as I write this. I have two novels, a short story, an article on the Mafia, another on robot battle suits and two screenplays open in seperate windows in front of me, as well as the browser with, currently, 47 tabs open. My task bar looks like a rush hour traffic jam. My body is screaming at me to get some damned sleep.
The short story, about the ghost of an entire city - yeah, it is as awesome as it sounds and if you are really good maybe I'll post it one week - is the most appealing. It is also the one with the furthest away deadline. Those two factors may be related.
My lady is away for work yet again. The brats are sound asleep, giving out those delicate squeaky snores that only the very young can manage. I can't leave the house and go for a walk or a drive, my usual remedy for the blues. The fire is getting low, and the wood is outside, so I'll have to make a fair amount of noise to bring more in, probably waking the kids.
Even the cats have all left, two to curl up near the kids in the warmth, and the big male to patrol his territory and have a fight with a new young Turk that threatens his dominance. He'll come in again later and sleep next to me. He always does. He has a simple outlook on life. Eat, fight and sleep.
I envy him.
Not for him the problems of dealing with friend's problems. He has no friends, just enemies and beings he sort of tolerates. He doesn't worry about eating healthy and living right - he simply butts me with his head until he gets fed, and shows claws to the other two until he has finished eating. Does he create? Well, judging by the flicking of his paws, he dreams. Close enough, right?
Watching him finish grooming, then slip out through the cat door like a fluffy wraith, I almost felt hate for a second. Once, I was like that. No, not four legged and covered in fur, try not to be retarded, but independent. My own master, with none to gainsay me. No one to stop me slipping out late at night for an adventure - be it a fight or a chance encounter with someone of the opposite sex.
Somewhere along the line, I traded that freedom in. And I really don't recall making the deal. It just sort of happened when I wasn't looking.
Am I complaining? Not really, no. I am reasonably happy. Life has it's challenges, but is decent, and if you laid the options out in front of me, I would probably pick what I got.
Just really, really miss howling at the moon,
There's really nothing I can think to say that would be worth much, but reading this, I felt compelled to say something anyway.
It's normal to want to have your independence back, go wild, howl at the moon---and you know that, of course, better than most of us who read here. But that lone wolf will always be in you. And everything you used to be, and everything you are now, and everything you will be, though you may be content, even if not 100% satisfied, well, I know every one of your loved ones is grateful that you keep your integrity anyway. By that I mean, you haven't shirked your responsibilities. All the time, I read stories on this site about those who throw it all away on a whim, and I'm grateful that you're not one of them.
We all are, I think. You're a great man with a lot of depth, and that has helped many of us out. It's good to know that even someone as intelligent as you are feels this way too.
Sorry, I know that probably didn't make sense.
Anyway, it's late; sleep well.
(It's 4:08 in the morning, I can be incoherent if I want to~)
All I meant with that is that even if, judging by the title of this blog post, you are not very confident, there are many who have the utmost confidence in you.
i dont know who it was that said, once you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. we all have our own perspective. reading this made me miss my cat i recently lost who had literally been through the good the bad and the ugly with me my entire adult life. he was also abused by my ex, thrown out like trash once because he knew that would hurt me. but my little survivor came back after 5 days and faithfully stood by me to live another 11 years, giving the ex the furry finger by dutifully crapping all over him whenever he tried to make it up to him. i would choose to have my furry buddy back if i could make it so, but even so i keep the memories and the valuable lessons he taught me and like you, wouldn't change a single thing otherwise. we all get wistful over a life that once was sometimes, it's an incredible example you set that you would still choose what you have now.
can anyone help??
pretty much this guy told me he liked me and asked me out on a date. I froze and hesitated because I wasn't sure if he was serious. later on I asked him if he was serious he smiled ,nodded, and asked if I was angry @ him and i
said no...then he continued to say I talk about you all the time and his friend got down on one knee and said its an honor to meet u. this happened last week.
today I told him after class that I needed to talk to Him *** keep in mind he was with his friends the whole time*** I was like drew I need to speak to you all the while he was interrupting me introducing me to all his friends. I said drew do you still wanna go out w/ me and he smiled and said no, your mean to me! he was saying something but his friends kept interuppting so I was about to leave for class and he was walking away so I called out yes or no...then he smiled and shouted never! and I walked away...was he kidding. ..and why did he act like that....please help!!!!