For New Years, everyone is always looking ahead, all eager for what the New Year brings, with its burden of hope, desire and joy. Hell, I am looking forward to the New Year, though I am not dumb enough to set myself up for failure by making resolutions that I won't keep. Yeah, I should give up smoking, exercise more, yada yada yada - bugger that. I won't, so am not going to stress myself by imposing an arbitrary deadline.
Instead, I want to look at the battered, tired, limping year we have just left. 2011. What went good in the year just gone? Gonna be a hard squint, but we can find something, right? Nope, I got nothing. The world went to hell again, and nothing can seem to stop it. Depressing.
So, I am going to invoke the armor of selfishness, with a +200 bonus against attack.
2011 was a good year for me. I got a novel out under my usual net pseudonym which has sold miserably but at least finally exists and has been read by maybe 6 people, wrote a series of connected short stories that are being filmed (hey, the Sci Fi channel has ZERO taste) as a TV movie and had a second novel optioned by the same production company. Pretty sweet for an author, and yeah, a good year.
I did make one resolution last New Year that I kept. Specific to here, as in Guyspeak. I resolved to be nicer for 12 months. Blunt and honest still, yes, that is just the way I am, but tone down the nasty, admit to having some form of home life and a vague sympathy for people and see what happens. What happened is I got triple the work-load. Went from twenty questions a day to over a hundred a day within the space of a month. By the beginning of February I was regretting it big time.
Then I got my first ever "Thank you." Someone actually took the time out of their day to send me a message saying thanks and to let me know what was happening. That shocked me. Secretly pleased me too. Hey - I am still human (sort of).
It made me think.
Have mentioned it before, but it is easy to forget there is a person on the other end of the question box. A real person, with hopes, dreams and fears. Easy for me to hit someone with a one liner. Not terribly good for them, but hey, they pick the guy they ask, right? They want sympathy and understanding, they don't hit me up. Or WA or FG for that matter.
To go back to the initial question in the intro - was it the right decision to be nicer this year? I don't know. I can't know, as it was an either/or thing. I did enjoy it more, I'll admit that, even though it made me think more and gave me a lot of hassle.
So, I am going to leave it to you - the readers. The ones that make the site work. Shall I stay slightly nicer, or go back to being an arrogant a*shole 24/7 instead of once a week or so? I'll tally up the comments both here and on FB and see what you say.
Be careful what you wish for though - in this case it will come true.
Well, I can't see why you can't be a nice asshole. :-) Best of both worlds.
Because the two are complete opposites?
Well not if you're an asshole... but you say things more eloquently, then the dryness of the asshole is somewhat lessened.
Sarcasm definitely put's you in the asshole pile. So I suppose you've already chosen your new years resolution. :-)
a) It's "puts", not "put's".
b) I wasn't being sarcastic, I was just pointing out a flaw in your logic.
c) If you dismiss people as assholes because they're being sarcastic, then... oh, boy.
Sorry for the typo. And I was just kidding. :-) Like I said, nice asshole doesn't mean anything! Just, being an asshole... maybe with a nice core! And what does it matter anyway?
It doesn't.
So don't get your knickers in a twist.
Here's a typo for you to get your teeth into.
wheres the error? :-)
In all fairness, that is kind of an oxymoron. I'm guessing you mean to be a civil asshole; being direct and blunt but not vulgar?
Maybe you can find that happy medium & shoot from the hip when you need to. Some people need a good kick in the pants or slap in the face, ya know. Do it…
i have a kobo and not a kindle, otherwise i'd buy your book :( sounds so interesting!!! definitely my type of thing. is it available to buy anywhere else by any chance?
as for your asshole-ness... i thought your answers were wiser more than nicer this year. be a wise asshole ;)
Yeah - paperback from the publisher.
I'm generally a big fan of being blunt, even if it's not what most people want to hear. However, being an asshole is a wholly different matter and should not be attempted even once a week. So thumbs up for the honesty, but I think you should cut down on the tone; you can get the same message across without being an asshole and yelling at people over the Internet.
I generally don't bother to take the time to log in/comment, but I actually have something to say. I come to this site because I want to read someone's honest opinion; someone who is not obligated to say what they think the asker-of-the-question wants to hear. I enjoy your honesty, and respect how you deliver that honesty. Anyone who asks you a question should be familar with how you generally respond, and expect the truth, as you see it. I say, go with your gut on how you think you should answer questions.
You can be honest without being an asshole. Honesty doesn't necessitate cruelty and like you said, there are people with feelings on the other end of that computer screen who are asking for your help. I think you should be honest, but tactful. Being nice doesn't mean sugarcoating your responses, it means being respectful of other people's feelings.
I think you're a little cruel. WA is blunt and honest, but tactful at the same time. Try to be more like him. Readers will respond to you more positively if you do.
Perhaps base it on the question. You seem to get quite a bit of heartfelt questions dealing with some dark issues.Treat the sincere questions more nicely. The questions that are clearly not sincere or important, treat with sarcasm and harshness. Either way, you will still have faithful readers.
I'd say that last year you were more distant, and that was more off-putting than you being blunt. What you do best here on Guyspeak, I think is that you have an empathy (if not sympathy sometimes) that now has a higher value. But at the same time, you wouldn't be MM without the sarcasm and bluntness, I think that it's helped some people who've needed a wake up call. Have a Happy New Year MM :)
Don't try like WA, like one persons suggested, if we wanted him we'd ask him, or like anyone else's answers. I think with the way you opened up a little about your struggles this year, people felt that you were the person who knew about dealing with the more serious issues. I think if you turned total asshole on all the time, we wouldn't know who to ask when our problems included those issues. It doesn't seem fair to ask you to saddle yourself with everyone's addiction, depression, abuse, and dark moral quandaries, but I can personally say that it's easier to ask you those things, not only because of your persona, but because it seems like you know what you're talking about when the chips are down. You have more to say than here's a hotline number you should call. And that is so valuable to Person with a real problem. You don't need to be sweet to us, but we appreciate it when we get more than a one liner (unless the asker's a dumbass lol)
I agree, you were a bit more distant last year, lots of one liners, like you didnt really care. Youre still very blunt and honest, you just take more time to explain your answers and yes, are empathetic a little more even though its not all the time, but it doesnt need to be. You know when to handle something with care and when to just tell someone flat out theyre an idiot.
Ive loved you this year.
Do exactly what you have been doing - blunt and to the point sarcastic mixed in with shades of sensitivity we are lucky to find in anyone. You surprise and live up to your name that way, Mystery Man.
(It goes without saying your answers are always thoughtful and intelligent. That's why it works.)
Honest but decent--always a winning combination (and how I have come to view your responses).
OK, so the concensus is the a*shole level is about right.
Mild grumble - I LIKE BEING AN A*SHOLE!
*consensus
Prudence, please let it go. You'll be a happier person.
Be nice and blunt-there's a way to be direct and honest without intentionally being hurtful. Go with that-your answers and thoughts are respected and appreciated-just put them in a way that readers take you seriously and not overlook your responses because they are SO mean.
I would just save the high-octane assholery for those truly deserving (Lord knows there'll always be some that deserve it). Then keep the no-nonsense, "this-is-how-it-is" humanity with everything else that warrants it.
Prudence, your name perfectly suits you! :)
Yup, agreeing with the crowd here. You've found the right mix of blunt honesty, sarcasm, and empathy this year. Last year you were downright cold; this year you're a human being who has no problem either smacking people upside the head when they need it or giving them a supportive shoulder if that's what they need. I like.
Actually kinda easy to know if you made the right choice. Did I get a desired outcome? Then I made the right choice.
Making the right choice, that can often be hard, since you don't always (often in fact) have all the information you need and sometimes the outcome won't be known for a while.