This should be later in the week - but how better to celebrate International Woman's Day? Plus, I'll be attending SXSW this weekend, so simply won't be here!

"What do you know about sex workers?" the usual terse email from my handler read. Man, just because I live near a brothel and have been known to peel off for money, there is no reason to stereotype! I shrugged, and dug into my contacts list, to find out more.

Hi Madeira, care to introduce yourself?

Hi there, I'm Madeira Darling, writer of erotic fiction, pop culture commentary, and feminist theory, professional dominatrix, lifestyle submissive, genderqueer high-femme dyke, blogger, and collector of records and plush Cthulus. I run the blogs "Thoughts From The Peacock Angel" and "Queer Kink"

How do you justify your existence, Madeira?

Well, I like to think that I create things of beauty when I write, or at the very least entertainment value with political or cultural relevance. Also I'm just damned fabulous, and in a world where so many people go to work wearing sweat pants, someone has to be fabulous.

What made you decide to become a sex worker? It is not exactly a top ten career choice!

I was in school (for theatrical makeup) and I wanted to make some extra money, but since school was nine hours a day I decided to become a phone sex operator to make a little extra cash. I did that for a month or so and then quit because it was frankly quite depressing (you end up talking down a lot of potential suicides, I don't know why, there are after all free hotlines for that, paying $2.99 a minute just seems... odd) but in any case, I quit doing that. I was then a stripper briefly, but the management was clearly Russian mob, and so I quit because it seemed like an excellent way to end up dead or in prison (both conditions to avoid) and then after that I started working as a professional dominatrix. I've been involved in BDSM since essentially the beginning of my sex life, and I noticed a lack of ethical skilled professional dommes out there and wanted to do something good.  I'm now semi-retired, meaning I no longer session in person, only online or by phone, after a nasty incident with a stalker. I would like to say that I think societal attitudes towards sex work make it an unnecessarily dangerous profession, and if as a whole we could be less quick to judgement of women in these professions we'd go a long way towards protecting them.

What do you think are the failures in society regarding sex workers? I mean, to me, and most of the people I know, it is a "your body, your choice, your right" sort of deal - but we are not at the sharp end.

Well, in terms of sex workers, I think we as a society really need to understand, that

A: Sex workers have limits. I personally don't do anything illegal, and I don't like to be touched (yes, it's funny with my line of work, but I genuinely don't) and I've had so many people assume that for the right price they can change my mind, and honestly my limits are my limits, and I won't compromise them for any price.

B: I think that we need to get rid of some of the stigma of being or having been a sex worker, I know that due to my history a lot of "straight" jobs are now closed to me, if they google me too thoroughly, which of course makes retiring from sex work tough for a lot of people,

C: Sex workers are penalized for their profession by the legal system, for most women they have almost no recourse when a client refuses to pay for services rendered. There are of course many other failings, but these are the big ones.

Do you regret it?

No, I don't regret it, I suppose I regret the way some of it went (stripping was a pretty terrible experience to be honest, and phone sex was... depressing) but all in all I think even the bad stuff at least makes a good story, and it was all definitely a learning experience, and really opened my eyes to a lot of social problems regarding women's rights.

Well the short answer is, I'm for it. I often get accused of being an angry feminist, or things like that, and the thing is, yes I am an angry sex positive egalitarian feminist. It's honestly hard not to be angry when issues like the planned cuts to planned parenthood, and the insane amount of unreported rape in the military and the world in general come up (Tell me about it - MM). I've come face to face with a lot of issues that are directly tied to feminism and although I've always been a feminist, they really confirmed my belief that society needs to change. I've been a victim of both sexual assault and domestic violence at the hands of a partner, and in both cases my experiences were brushed off as exaggerations or lies. I also had an abortion when I was 18 after being impregnated by my abusive (then) boyfriend due to a doctor prescribing me birth control and an anti-biotic which was contraindicated by the birth control on the same day. I'm so glad that I had the resources to have access to an abortion, because if I had not I would be forced to deal with a reminder of my abuse on a daily basis, and to have contact with my abuser. We have such a huge problem with victim blaming in our society, it's honestly quite horrifying. You don't see victims of theft, or even non-sexual assault getting blamed the way rape and abuse victims, both male and female, are.

For people just learning, there are confusing terms in feminism. Can you break down sex positive and feminine oriented into easy to understand bites?

Sex positive means that I'm pro-porn, provided it's ethically produced, with properly unionized performers, proper STD testing beforehand, and so on, pro-sex worker's rights, anti-slut-shaming and generally pro-people getting it on if they should so choose in the way they should choose, between consenting adults.

Feminine oriented simply means I like long hair, skirts and lipstick regardless of the gender of the person wearing it.

You are, from your writing at least, incredibly happy with and proud of your sexuality. How did you get to this point?

Well, I was raised by very liberal parents, and it wasn't really a matter of getting to the point of happiness and comfort. I was raised without an attitude of shame surrounding homosexuality and so I never really developed one. In my life my being a dyke has never really been "a big deal" except when I go out into the outside world, then I face bigotry and douchebaggery the same as any other dyke, but having been raised to know that I was OK no matter what my orientation, that being gay is just fine really made me able to just brush off homophobia without ever giving it a second thought. In the outside world it's really frustrating sometimes having to explain my sexuality over and over again, mostly I use the label dyke/lesbian because that's the closest way to describe it that most people understand, though technically I'd be closer to "feminine oriented"

I suppose what was a little harder was coming to terms with the fact that I'm a lifestyle submissive, which when I was younger tended to make me think of myself as weak or a bad feminist, but as I matured I just sort of realized that feminism is about choice, and my preference for being beaten in the bedroom is my business, and frankly my seeking out what I enjoy is a display of agency rather than a show of my lack there of.

Your parents sound absolutely awesome. Got any lessons you picked up from them to pass on to our readers?

Well, beyond the important moral and cultural stuff, my favorite piece of advice is my mother's oft repeated "Don't get that started!" It applies to situations from drinking to Scientology.

Thank you, Madeira, for taking the time to answer my questions!

It was my pleasure.

Photo used by permission of Madeira Darling, all rights reserved.

So, readers, what are your thoughts? Personally, this is a sensible lady whom I would be proud and pleased to have as a sister, niece or daughter. She worked out what she wanted, and went for it.